DS sobs uncontrollably when he is put in his cot.

[vmcdonald28]

For about a week now, my 22-month-old ds has started getting very upset when he gets put in his cot. It was only at night-time to begin with - but now it's at his afternoon nap too.

Nothing in his routine has changed - he has his lunch at 12.30, and gets put in his sleeping bag in his cot, with a bottle of milk. he used to go to sleep when he;d finished the milk. Now, he starts sobbing.
At bedtime, he sobs for a while, but he's so tired, he eventually goes to sleep.

I also put him in his cot with some toys, when I am getting showered. He's fine with this. So it's just when he knows he's meant to be going for a sleep that it bothers him. Today, he sobbed for about an hour, and my dh and I took it in turns to go to him and rub his back and reassure him. He was fine while one of us was with him, but the minute we even hint at leaving the room, the sobbing begins again.

My dh took him out in the car, and he was asleep within 10 minutes, so it's not as if he isnt tired.

What could be the problem here? Is it cos he doesnt want to be put in a sleeping bag any more? Is he having bad dreams? Is he frightened of something?

How do we deal with this? Picking him up seems to make him worse when he gets put back in bed. And I dont want to start giving in to him, and getting him up out of his bed again.

I really couldnt cope if I thought this was the end of me getting 2 hours to myself in the afternoon!

Thanks, everyone,
Vicky

[LŠuren]

{{{hugs}}} I know how you are feeling!!!  I am going through the later stages of gradual removal with DS for the same reasons as this.

[LŠuren]

I have just found this, it explais it better

second... i wonder if this could be a final (or first!) bout of separation anxiety.  here is some information on that:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80822.0

regardless of if it is or is not SA... i think the gradual withdrawal method will help you lots with getting through this:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

yes, you will be in there until she falls asleep for a while, but you will gradually get out of there sooner & sooner as you rebuild the trust between you & her. 

HTH

[vmcdonald28]

Thanks so much. I'l give that a go tonight. At least I know what to do now - I didnt know whether to let him sob till he fell asleep, or if that was emotionally the wrong thing to do.

Just remembered - he has started crying when we leave him at nursery too. seems to be a separation anxiety...

[LŠuren]

I don't recommend leaving him to cry for any length of time, because that will only make the trust/dependency issue worse.  That said, if it is a Mantra cry (and not an "I need you NOW!!!! cry) then leave him - it could be him settling, but make sure you know the difference in his cries.

The gradual removal plan is working for us, so I can recommed that. 

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

[vmcdonald28]

quick update - ds was a bit better last night. He did sob, but after myself and dh taking it in turns to go in a nd reassure him, he did drop off to sleep.

This afternoon, however, it took nearly an hour till he went to sleep. And there was a lot of stress on all parts. He cried a lot, but I was determined not to lift him out of his cot. He got himself in such a state, I think he'd forgotten what he was crying about.
The thing is, dh and i both think he's calmer when we're in the room, simply cos he knows we're his only escape route from his cot. In other words, he's stuck there till we come and get him. I'm not entirely convinced it's a separation anxiety issue at all. I think he has simply realised that life is still continuing, even when he's asleep. He knows now that we're downstairs while he's in bed...

Even after he finally fell asleep this afternoon, he slept for an hour, then was wide awake. Even a couple of weeks ago, he was sleeping for at least 2 to 3 hours - sometimes more - in the afternoon.
Any more tips would be gratefully received!