more night wakes for 5mo old

[saree's mom]

Jess, smart move, i went away this past weekend to family. They have 2 kids - 2 yr old and 4 mth old. 2 yr old was overtired the ENTIRE WEEKEND (poor thing, one of the nites i was there she woke up at 11..AND THEY TOOK HER OUT OF BED! eating, playing, walking around....hello...i was confused ) Anyways she was not very quiet, crying alot...she kept waking saree up, i was going nuts.. Problem is, ita very quiet at home by me. I am quiet once saree is asleep, and no other kids, so she is not used to noise at all. (is that a bad thing?)

[Colin Macs Mom]

OMG      and they probably wonder why she's tired all the time right?

you know the noise thing is funny.... we have a girlfriend who went too far the other way with her DS. From the day he was born she would totally darken and silence the room for him to sleep, and if you made one peep he was awake and shrieking. He's 9 now and still can't sleep unless it's pitch dark and totally silent. We decided right away that we did NOT want that. We made a point of not silencing a room or totally darkening it for Colin to sleep. That's not to say that we have a party when he sleeps or anything, but our house is small and it was important that he learn to sleep through some reasonable noise. It works for us, but every situation is different and if yours is just not that way then there's nothing wrong with that.

[weatherlyn]

saree mom, i hear you about the DHS, my hubby says to stop analysing, and looking for an answer to every night wake, he says how often as adults do we have a rubbish night sleep for no reason at all, and that us women take everything too much to heart, and as a reflection on our mothering skills, and that a bit from now we will be looking back and laughing. Babies are babies and they are all basically doing the same thing (he used the no of people using this website as an example). So my DH also doesnt want to hear it. i can hear the wisdom in his words, but us mummies are just built diff from the daddies i guess.

[saree's mom]

Oh tell me about it weatherlyn. And then i get so mad that he isnt as stressed as i am!!

OMG, i am having a weekend from hell, she is refusing to sleep. She was awake from 1:45 to 4 am last nite!! And she barely napped today. Help! 
I put her to be early tonite 6:30, she already woke up once...yelp! She is so overtired, i dont know what to do!! Im going crazy, so frustrated.

[Colin Macs Mom]

Maybe it's something in the air? Colin's sleep has been crap too.

[saree's mom]

OMG!!!
I cant do this anymore!!! I am so tired
Where do people get their patience, is there a place i can go buy some, because im fresh out.
She refuses to sleep, and I cant figure out her problem! 

[saree's mom]

Im so frustrated. She has been marginally better these past 2 nites. Last nite however she woke up and wasnt going back to sleep. I tried for a little while and then asked dh to take over. He just took her into his bed!!!! 
He keeps doing this and while i beg him not to, i just dont have the energy to do it all by myself the right way.
What do i do??? Im so mad!

[Colin Macs Mom]

You and your DH definitely need to be on the same page. If you're not consistent then Saree will never understand how things are, KWIM?

[abbysmomma]

Hey Rachel..

Sorry you're having such a hard time. Big {{{{HUGS}}}}}}} coming your way.

Sleep training isn't going to work unless both you and your husband are on the same page. I'm sure you know this! So sit down and chat with him seriously (not in the middle of the night when you're both exhausted!). Make a plan - even write it down! Then, do not deviate from said plan. Unless, of course, he enjoys waking up repeatedly and then sleeping with Saree. In which case, I would leave LO with DH for the night and wear earplugs... OK, a little extreme, but you know what i mean, right?

I find that I have to psych myself up all day if I know I'm going to be doing something hard during the night (like pu/pd). If I don't mentally prepare myself, I can't do it! Remind yourself that you're going to fix it tonight (and maybe tomorrow night, and the night after), and that you're not going to get a lot of sleep, but in the end it will be worth. And it soooooo is worth it. After Christmas holidays, Abby's night sleep was totally wrecked. So after one day of recovery, I went back and did PU/PD for 2 hours. Only had to do it for one night. And now, we put her to bed at 8pm awake, she sleeps 'til around 1:30am, I feed her then back to bed, and she's awake on and off from 5:30-7:30 but usually I can just leave her and she'll go back to sleep. Occasionally I will have to sooth her once or twice during the night, but it's really easy to do. AND she's hit major milestones these last two weeks - a tooth and she rolls over and scoots around in the crib a ton! And I think we're approaching a time where I can cut her one night feed out. And honestly, i think that when I do that, I can expect her to stop most night wakes.

Since both our LOs have changed a ton since this post has started, maybe you should consider starting a new topic so that we can all look at it with fresh eyes. Also post her current routine and night wakes. We'll brainstorm and see what we can come up with. This too shall pass!!! You'll get through this.  

[saree's mom]

Hey aeri, thanks for your support. I can use it

So i started a new topic, titled "cont. nite wakes for 7 mth old" - lol
Hope you and jessica can check it out. Let me know if ive left anything imp out.
Any suggestions or input ?! Im all ears.
Thanks guys. 

[Colin Macs Mom]

Will take a look 

[weatherlyn]

hey abbysmomma please will you share your plan of action for cutting out your one night feed? my LO doesnt dream feed, almost six months old, but he is def starting to drink less at the night feed, and it is starting to happen at exactly the same time every night....... habit... we have just started solids too. What do you do you put abby back down after that night feed and she just wont go back to sleep? Luca is sometimes wide awake after, and starts doing cot olympics, talking, shouting rolling playing with teddy and can go on for ages until he is so wired that he cant get himself back to sleep and one of us has to pick him up and try and calm him down into sleepy mode, but i am scared that that will lead to AP. What do you do?

[abbysmomma]

Hey Weatherlyn!

I would be glad to share my plan of action, but maybe you'd be better served starting a new topic? I'm pretty sure nobody's going to read a thread with nine pages in it 

Anyways, here goes. I'm still feeding Abby once a night, but am in the process of weaning from it. She went through a growth spurt a few weeks ago and I had to start night feeding again. When she was feeding twice a night, I felt comfortable cutting out the last one cold turkey, and she seemed fine with it too. However, I feel like cutting out the last one like that is too harsh, so I've been watching the clock. For example, I let her feed her fullest which was 10 min, then the next night I unlatched her after 9min. And the next night was 8min. Tonight will be 7 min. I'll do that everynight until I get to 2 min or so, then I'll feel ok with cutting it out completely. I'm lucky in that Abby sleeps right away after eating (is actually partially asleep when feeding anyways) but there have been a handful of times when she didn't sleep. I let her wear herself out with the playing (and I stayed by the crib 'cause she would cry if alone) then when her crying started to sound like a tired cry, I would try to get her to sleep by PU/PD. It was hard, and I was very thankful that it doesn't happen often. When Abby wakes during the night, and it's not time for that one feed, she's usually really easy to settle - I put her on her side, tell her it's sleeping time, and she responds by sucking on her fingers and going back to sleep almost right away. This often doesn't work in the early morning (ie. 6am) but we're working on that. I also make sure she stays in her crib until 7:30am (or as close as I can make it). Last night, for the first time since she was 4 months old, I only got up once to feed her at 2:30am. The other two times that she woke up, she put herself back to sleep. Yay! I also have to be very careful about going to her when she does start making noises. Her "mantra" cry and her real cry sounds extremely similar (which is why we're still having multiple night wakings 2.5 months later!) and so when she does wake, I lie and listen for at least a minute before even thinking about going in. And she never full out cries right away anyways. She did this twice last night and sure enough, she went back to sleep. Soooo... hope this helps. I despaired of it for a long time before just accepting that Abby is very stubborn and likes to wake during the night to see mommy and daddy. I try to be very consistent, and even though I didn't see any improvement for a long time (at least a month!) it's finally paying off. Well, at least I hope so.

[weatherlyn]

yup has helped. do you dream feed though? i dont, and luca is not yet six months, and tracy only recommends cutting out df at 7 or 8 mths, so does it follow that i would only cut out that one feed at the same time? most of the time after he is fed he is wide awake and plays and plays until he gets tired and then i try and do pupd, but do you find that sometimes picking up just infuriates them? like he is saying, oh so you think that you can help do you mum??! and then he is wide awake, in my arms and i put him back down after three mins, never more,and nothing has changed! i think you are right, some babies just arent great sleepers, even if they are independent ones, you cant change character with pupd!

[abbysmomma]

Hi Weatherlyn

I don't dream feed - it never worked for us and would wake Abby up more. It all depends on what you feel - do you think that your LO is up for cutting out the night feed, or do you think he still needs it? Abby is used to being fed at night, but I don't think she needs it anymore. I'm gradually reducing teh amount of milk to get her accustomed to eating more during the day. Or at least i think. And yes, Abby gets more mad when I pick her up. So i do my best to sooth her in the crib. Unless she's freaking out and then i do pick her up. is he still crying when you pick him up for the three minutes. I count ten seconds of not crying, then i put her down again. give her a minute or two to try and settle herself, then repeat. Abby's a great sleeper during the day - she just sucks at it during the night. Oh welll... maybe one day she will sleep through. A good night is only 3-4 wakings.