BEFORE PU/PD

[mi]

hallo
I've been reading this wonderfull forum for a month now and we (me and my DH) are preparing for PU/PD with our 3,5 months old son.I don't know where to put this post bc we had to change everything.Maybe anyone have some suggestions...
He fights a lot when we put him into his crib for a night sleep.He had never fall asleep before 8pm and have never slept longer than 5 hours at time.I think he is textbook/spirited one.
-We have a lot of accidental parenting (falls asleep at breasts-especially during the night, we give him finger to suck when he's crying hard, now he is sleeping in a hammoc above our bed...).
-I breastfeed-both sides each feed. Feedings 10-15min
-He usually wakes up twice during the night
-during his A time he is playing on the mat or with me or DH
-he shows tired sighns usually after 1hr after getting up and then i go with him to the bedroom, put him in the blanket and sing a song and put him into hammoc, he is usually falling asleep independly sucking his fingers with some MC sometimes
-he naps for 1,5 and 45 min
-we haven't started solids
-and he doesn't have a lovie
-I was trying to get him on 3hr EASY, but I have difficulties bc of his bedtime(time when he falls asleep and wakes is each day different Sad

His day yestarday was:

E 2am - 10min (falls asleep sucking his finger)
S 2.40-6.00
E 6.00-7.00 (falls asleep at breasts in our bed:(
wakes up at 8.10, change the diaper and put back to hammock
sleeps until 10.00

E 10.00 - 15min
A 10.15-10.30 (tired sighns and at 10.35 in hammock again)
S 11-12.30
A diaper change, playing on the mat

E 1.30 -10min
no tired signs but i put him to hammock at 2am
S 2.10-3.40
A watching me making dinner:)

E 4.30 - 10min - some fussing at breasts
in hammoc at 4.40 - falls asleep suking my finger with shasshing
S 5-5.30

A playing with dad, bath at 6.30
E 7.00
bed 7.40 and he started crying, we gave him finger to suck, i lay my hand on him, shasshing...
when we turn on the light and he saw us he started to smile.Finally at 9.20 we put him into our bed, he was smilling, talkin a lot...then at 9.50 we put him into hammock and he suck his finger and went off...
slept untill 1 am, then feeding - 10min - in hammock with eyes closed
then woke up at 4am - i gave him my finger to suck and he went off
then woke up at 6.30 and E -15min
S 7.40-8.30
E 8.50 - 15min
and now he is sleeping from 9.50...

oh, it's so long post...I hope you have some advice for us
thank you

mila

[* Paula *]

From what you say, your lo has a great sucking reflex.  Have you considered introducing a pacci?

If your lo falls asleep during a feed, I would suggest waking him up again, and having some A time before you let him sleep.  He will then be awake when you put him to sleep for his naps and night time sleep, and will allow him to be able to settle himself.

Also have you tried Pat / Shhh to resettle your lo at night?  I think that 3.5 months is a bit young to consider introducing PU/PD

[mi]

Thanks very much for your reply
I've tried to use pacci but he didn't want it and now he falls asleep sucking his finger.
He only falls asleep at breasts during the night. Should I also wake him up then?
During the day we always have at least small activity bf sleeping.
Yes, I've tried Pat / Shhh to resettle him, but patting isn't working.I just lay my hand on him and do the shhh sometimes
Yestarday I thought that my son has his 'day hours' from 9.00 or 10.00 o'clock bc when I'm trying to have A time before he is always very sleepy, so I decided to make his 'day' from 9am-9pm and then move gradually to 7.What do you think?
thanks in advance
mi

[* Paula *]

I would definitely wake him up if he falls alseep at the breast.  You don't want him to associate feeding with sleeping.  You could wake him by burping him and then offering some more of the feed, and then do your A time.

It is quite normal for your lo to be sleepy in the morning, as when they have their first nap, this is an extension of their nighttime sleep.  Most mums say this is usually their best nap of the day. 

[mi]

hi,
my day yestarday was:
8am wake up
E 8.20
A 8.20-9.20
S 9.20-10.50 (1.5hr)

E 11
A 11.10-12.20
S 12.20-13.50 (1.5hr)

E 2pm
A 2.10-3.20
S 3.20-4.00 (only 45 min and I was unable to extend...)

and the rest of the day is a mess then...
 
A 4-4.30
E 4.30
A 4.40-5.50
S 5.50-6.20 in a carseat

A 6.20-7.10
E 7.10
A bath
bed at 8.20

and then he was fussing, crying and screaming:(
and fall asleep at 9.20
I know he is overtired from 5 pm bc of not having 1.5 nap but what do you do in this situation?

thanks in advance

[* Paula *]

The best thing to do is if your lo does not have a full nap in the afternoon, is to keep you A time as low key as possible.  Either just let him sit in his bouncy chair in a quiet room, or perhaps go for a walk in the pram.  Hopefully you will get him to fall asleep again.

Sounds like your DS is doing great in the early part of the day  Things will get better.

[*Mona*]

hi there

I totally agree with Paula here- try to keep all afternoon activity low key and maybe putting him to sleep earlier than around 8pm would help as well?
and do try to keep him awake when feeding, it is quite essential.

good luck and keep us posted
Monika

[mi]

Thanks for the suggestions. I so appreciate this forum 
yestarday was so much better bc he took all his three 1.5 hr naps plus a catnap (40min) but getting him to sleep was again very hard.I really don't know what to do...we have evenings with lot of crying no matter how our day looks like
Does anyone have problem like this?
I'm trying to think that everything will get better in time

[*Mona*]

hi Milena

yes, it does get easier! 
still, I think he's overtired and therefore fights his bedtime. what time was it that you tried putting him down?

Monika

[mi]

Yestarday I've tried to put him to bed at 7.30 (after a cat nap from 6-6.30 and bedtime routine) and he was asleep at 9.
Today was very similar but he was only fussing with some crying, but it took him 1.5hr to fall asleep.
He didn't have a bath today bc dady was watching very important match on tv 
Tomorrow I'll put him to bed earlier as you suggest.
thanks
mila

[* Paula *]

Do you do your last feed before bed in his room?  Might be worth feeding in a dark room and then your wind down routine to see if this relaxes him a bit more and might fall asleep a bit earlier.

It is quite common for lo's to get very fussy in the evenings.  It is a combination of being over tired and a long day for them - even when they get their naps - it is still a very tiring day for them.

Ohhhh I hear you on the very important match to watch on tv - I getit all the time 

Keep us posted on how you get on.

[mi]

Today was great!
After a catnap till 6.40 he had a bath and E(I fed him in dark room as you suggested Tom Tom's Mum).Then I put him straight to bed and he fell asleep with no crying just fussing a bit (it took him 30 min instead of 1.5hr)!
 
I'm so happy!
thanks for your advice Tom Tom's Mum and Monika

 

[* Paula *]

That is fantastic news, sounds like things are falling into place 

[*Mona*]

hej, Milena, great news!