Separation anxiety? Or habit...

[cbell]

The last 2 night my 9 mon old girl has been waking up more at night. Her daytime routine is about the same although she started crawling this week. Anyways she was up twice the night before and I would go in and then she would eventually go back to sleep. If I attempted to leave once she settled though she would cry. She is a light sleeper and will roll over to check to see if someone is still there. So I end up sticking around until she is in a fairly deep sleep that I can sneak out. Last night she was up 3 times, every 45 minute sleep cycle actually. And I would go in and she would settle and go back to sleep. I let her cry for one of them for about 3 minutes but finally went in.

Is this becoming a habit or is it separation anxiety? She is fine during the day, I don't notice any behavioral changes other than she is very cuddly the past couple of weeks.

Am I doing what I should be doing? Meaning going in to settle her as opposed to not. Should I be walking out when she is settled and then repeat the process of settling her? Does this create a habit?

And if it is separation anxiety how long does it usually last? I am quite sleep deprived for the last month due to a cold, growth spurt, 5am wakings and now this. My biggest fear is creating a habit that will be hard to break later on.

Please help....

[momofclaire]

Could you post your routine for us.  It sounds like SA but if you have had a cold, growth spurt and all that it could be habit.  Have you been picking her up to settle her or does just being in the room do it?

[cbell]

Ok so here is our typical routine:

6 - wake & 7oz bottle
7 - breakfast
10 - nap (45 min-1hr)
11 - 7oz bottle
12 - lunch
2 - nap (1.5 hr)
3:30 - 7oz bottle
5 supper
6 - bath
6:30 - 7 oz bottle
7 - bed

About 4 weeks ago she had a bad cold and once she got over that she was back to normal sleep habits, then she went through a growth spurt as she was waking up around 5AM starving. That lasted a few days and then she slept normally again and even surprised us with 12.5 hr night... it was wonderful. So it has been about 3-4 days now that she will wake up shortly after going to bed. Typically what we do is go in and put her back on her back and try to console her without picking her up. If she is inconsolable then we will pick her up and rock her back to sleep. Last night for example one of us would go in and put her back on her back (she sleeps normally on her back or side not tummy as a rule) and just stand next to the crib until she would fall off to sleep. If you even thought of leaving any earlier and she rolled over to check to see if you were there she would freak out again. So you have to make sure she is in a pretty deep sleep. I am pretty sure that it isn't teeth because she doesn't appear to be in pain and she will smile and stuff once she settles and is calm.

Personally I think she is just needy at the moment and just at that SA age...but who knows. I am open to other opinions. 

[momofclaire]

Could she be overtired?  Looking at your sch I would reccommend a little earlier of a bed time.  You may also try to extend that 1st nap a little.  At nine months she should be getting about 14 hours of sleep total.   3 dayime hours and oh that coveted 11 stretch at night 

You may in fact be dealing with a little SA but a little more sleep might help her out a little.
Here is a link to SA and how to help ease it. Hope that helps!
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62612.0

[cbell]

I don't think its over tiredness and actually she is 10 months not 9... can you tell I'm tired??? :p She has always been a baby that had more A time than the general recommendations. Certainly not for lack of trying on my part as I have been pretty regimented in trying to get her to sleep but she just doesn't want to settle on her own to do so. I always have a wind down period before nap (music, cuddling, sometimes a story) but she will always flip flop around in crib for 20+ minutes. Also this weirdness has only started in the last week or so. Once she got over the cold and growth spurt she would have a couple of normal nights. She's been on 2 naps now since about 2 months and the lengths vary every day of course.

So I think it has to be SA. She is crawling up a storm these days and we are giving her lots of practice too during the day. Someone mentioned to me that crawling sometimes causes anxiety as they realize they are separate from you thus SA... is that possible? If this indeed sounds like SA, typically how long does it last? She doesn't seem to have all the symptoms of SA as she doesn't freak out if I leave the room ( unless that is coming). When she wakes up in the morning or from her naps she cries which she didn't used to do either.She would coo and play for 10-20 minutes before she would want out.

I don't know... I'm at a loss. Hard not to feel like you are not doing something right.

[Tobysmum]

Hi,
I'm having similar issues and my baby is nearly 11 months - it started about 2 weeks ago.  Mainly been early wakings (anytime between 4.00 and 5.30) and he just won't settle - I just have to do pu/pd constantly before it gets to about 6.00am when I give in and feed him as I figure he must be hungry!  I don't actually think he is hungry as he can go until 7.30 quite happily on a good day.  It's just if I feed him, I know he'll go back to sleep!!!!  He has also started crying when he wakes up from naps - he never used to do this - always would play in his cot happily gurgling.  This sort of all started when he started crawling so your theory could be right.  I can't say how long it will last as he's still doing it!  You are not alone - I've been posting on this problem for a week or so to see if I can get any answers!  I am hoping it's just SA and is just a phase as you say!  I've been in his room when he wakes up from his naps and the moment he opens his eyes he tries to sit up and you can just see the grimace on his face and he starts crying!  He is normally an angel/textbook baby so I am hoping that he hasn't changed almost overnight!!!

[momofclaire]

I think you are very in tune with your little girl and that means your doing great.  Separation Anxiety (SA) can present in mant ways.  Some babies only act on it at night, others during the day, it just depends on the child.   I have read that developmental things like crawling can trigger SA because of their ability to move around seperate from their care giver.  Did you happen to read that link I posted?  It has a couple suggestions on helping to ease SA. 

The only thing I would change about your sch is maybe shortening A time in the morn (right now it is 4 hours) because it is the longest she has.  Most babies tend to be able to handle longer A times as the day goes on.  This would move things up a little and I would also try putting her to bed a tad earlier.

I hope this helps.  If she is a baby that can handle more A time you may be one your way to switching to one nap!  It is a bit early but some start this process at 11 months.

[cbell]

Thanks so much! I am so glad I am not alone and Tobysmum's comment is exactly what I am experiencing. I would love to shorten the A time in  the morning and actually tried that this morning and she ended up playing in the crib and still making it 4hrs. This kid does not want to sleep! I give her lots of opportunity to play/crawl in hopes that she will tire herself out and be more willing to go to bed but it doesn't appear to be working.

I am not sure if this is coincidence but last night I didn't feed her cereal for supper, instead I opted for some other pureed stuff. It seemed that she was overly gassy although no evidence that she was in pain or anything. And low and behold she slept till 4:30 without waking. And I don't mind getting up with her so much if she would go right back to sleep. I think I could do the PU/PD till it was time to get up for the day as she fights sleep like crazy. Anyways it might be a coincidence but I am not going to give her cereal for awhile (it was wheat cereal, apples and cinnamon flavor) and see if it continues. I am trying to think back when I started giving her the cereal more frequently (as opposed to other meal ideas) and its been about 2-3 weeks... which is about the time the sleeping started going awry.

I did read the link and yes she does have some of the symptoms. I am going to refresh my memory on the suggested solutions, I didn't retain much of it as we are pretty exhausted. Thanks for your help!

[momofclaire]

Did you just start cereal about three weeks ago when this started.  AH HA!  (light going off in my head)  Sometimes, in fact a lot of times cereal near bed time can cause night waking because their little tummies are just learning how to digest it.  Also you can try rice cereal as wheat is sometimes harsher on them.  I would not give cereal as her last meal of the day.  That might solve the problem quickly.  Good Luck and let us know.

[cbell]

Yes actually I did. Although I didn't give it to her last night and she still woke up... but maybe it will take a couple of nights? I am holding out hope anyways. Thanks!