Hello Traci.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, I bet you are chuffed!
Please don't feel ashamed to come here and ask for our help, however many times it will take, we are here for you and want to help. It took me from April 06 until October 06 to get Alex sleeping. Duing that time I tried so many methods that the poor kid didn't know whether she was coming or going.
Well to answer all of your questions
1) do I just deal with bedtime first and deal with NW the same as now (going on couch) seeing as i need my sleep
No, as you have said, you have to be 100% consistent and that is with every part of the sleep. You see, if he goes to sleep with WIWO then wakes, then cries and you take him down for a nice cuddle, then tomorrow he will go to sleep, wake and think, hey if I cry and yell for mum, she will take me for a nice cudle on the couch.
So for bedtime, nightwakings and naps you should do whatever sleep training that you decided to use and stick with it for all of them.
2) do i go cold turkey and deal with bedtime and NW the same
Yes, that's what I did and it worked for us. I think that it helped not to confuse her.
3) if i go for option 2, should i do wi/wo or whatever if he wakes early (5:30am). I don't mind bedtime, i don't mind the 1am wakeup, it's the 5-5:30 wakeup that is killer for me because he's pretty rested already.
I found all the nightwakings a killer, i was absolutely Zonked, but had decided that i was not going to be beaten, so I went to bed at 7.30pm and was ready for the nightwakings, that is the only advice that I can give with regards to the tiredness. When you do decide to start with the sleep training, you might as well decide to give up your evenings with DH, watching TV, reading or whatever it is that you do to relax. A small price to pay for a good nights rest
If you really can't cope with the 5.30 wakings then I would take it in turns to get up and start his day rather than treat it as a nightwaking as it will only confuse him.
As for committing to 2 weeks sleep training, well I think that Layla is dead right, you have to give it longer, he isn't too old for sleep training, but old habits die hard and Cole has had a lot of sleep problems and different methods of training that he will most likely be confused (as Alex was) so you should give it at least 4 weeks. What's the bet that you will see an improvement within 2 weeks, but you might also see a regression. Please be more determined than ever during this spell as, in my experience, that is when they are really testing us and if we mess up here then it just won't work.
Traci, I am not going to pretend that this will be easy, it's not easy, especially as you are in your early pregnancy (I was really tired during the first 12 weeks) but if you and your DH are 100% consistent and do this for yourselves, Cole and your new baby, then you will enter your second Timester having a full night of sleep.
I think that you should go with GW for the time being and work on getting out of the room, and under no circumstances should he be taken from his bed, use whatever you can to soothe him but he must stay in his bed. This is what I do with Alex, when she is there, she stays until morning (unless she is sick obviously) But she knows that when she is in that bed, she stays there. I even change her there if she poohs! I use a bedliner under her and change her pants as I know that if I get her out, I will have a devils own job getting her back in there!
We are all here for you, no matter what and will help and support you until you are so into this sleep training we will ask Laura to make you a MOD!!
I hope this helps and that we can give you the support and help that you need here.
Hugs to you.
Mari