I suppose my question would be 'what's your winddown routine?'
Can you post your routine, and also what you do for your winddown? I think winddowns are different for every child - you need to find what works for you. What we did at that age, for example:
20 minutes in front of his favourite tv programme with a drink (only way I could get Mr Spiritedpants to sit still). Say 'bye bye' to anyone in the house, then go upstairs. Say 'bye bye, Mr Sunshine' as I close the blinds, nappy change, into Grobag, then I'd just sit with him for a couple of minutes. I'd tell him it was nap-time, then murder a lullaby as I put him into bed.
This worked for us, but you have to find your own rythm - eg we could never have a book at nap/bedtime b/c he gets too excited
, but it might be a nice addition for you. One thing I will add - I always make sure to use the same words/phrases during the winddown, he seems to use these as cues to know that it's naptime.
This link may help
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64277.0
