PLEASE HELP!!!!

[SSM]

My 16 week DS is on a three hour EASY since he was 6 Weeks old, but we have always had a problem with naps. He feeds at 8,11,2,5,7,9 and 11 and does not seem to be ready for 3.5-4 hour EASY and I have been told that can happen with breast fed babies. But his naps are a BIG problem, he invariably wakes up at the 40-45 min mark, sometimes even at 30mins, and even though he is very tired and still sleepy is unable to go back to sleep, since he starts crying, I end up rocking him, he falls asleep and if I put him down he wakes up again. I tried pat/shush and PU/PD, but the moment I put him back in the cot he starts crying again. I tried W2S and holding at the jolts, but since he does not always wake at the same time, I miss the time slot and we have another struggle. I am soooooooooo tired.

At one point he was actually sleeping from his DF till 5/5.30/6.Beacuse he is not napping well, his night awakenings have also increased. At one point he was waking up at 2am, 4am, 6am with similar pattern that if I or DH were holding him , he slept but it was light sleep and the moment we put him back in the cot he was up again. Since two nights he has been up at 3am and 6 am. I do feed him at these times, and if needed change the nappy but not always, he just fusses at these times and is unable to go back to sleep. He falls asleep easily, and about 50% of the time I put him in his cot drowsy and he drifts off and the other times when he is very tired and getting him to sleep by himself has not worked I put him to sleep and then put him in the cot. The problem seems to be of maintaining sleep and his ability to self soothe, but I am at my wits end. He does use a paci when he is about to drop off, but not otherwise. He is still not able to get his thumb/finger in the mouth always. I had to swaddle him with the arms out since a month now, as the eczema was his arms was really bad, and I did not want him to have further friction.

He does manage 3-4 hours sleep during the day, and a catnap in the evening, but in bits and pieces, rarely a good long stretch. When he is awake he is quite cheerful and playful and does not need too much attention

After a very difficult pregnancy, we were dealing with ?colic/fussiness/eczema, that I just was happy with whatever sleep he got, but now I am feeling exhausted. I am due to go back to work soon, and my sister and BIL, who have an angel baby keep saying I must not be having him on an appropriate routine. I feel like quite a failure, and am really worried as my mom will look after him when I go back, and wonder how she will manage when i am finding it so difficult

Please help/advise. thanks

[SSM]

I forgot to mention, he normally has awake time of about 1 1/2 -2 hours, I keep a lookout like a maniac for his sleep cues and do manage to catch it everytime, and we have a wind down before each nap as well, and he falls asleep within 5-10 mins usually, but just keeps waking up, sometimes even at the 10 and 20 min mark. Most days he wakes up at the 45 min mark and is quite cheerful but since the last few days he has been really crabby, as if he wants to go back to sleep and cannot, and then does fall asleep while I rock him, I know rocking is accidental parenting, but he just keeps crying and today he actually howled for the first time with HUGE tears streaming down his face, so I just give in and rock. Please advice

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello, {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you, we've all been there and know how hard it is.

One question - how is he going to sleep initially? Has he learnt independent sleep yet, or are you rocking or pat/ssshing him to sleep?

[SSM]

We go back and forth on this. Some days I put him in his cot drowsy after sitting with him in a rocking chair and he drifts off on his own, he can manage this most days for his night sleep, but at times struggles in sleeping independently with his naps, so I put him down asleep. At the moment about 50% of the time he falls asleep on his own and the other times, its either pat/shush or the rocking chair. Some days when he wakes up midway during a nap, I can manage to get him to go back to sleep with the paci and pat/shush, but nowadays nothing seems to be working