Author Topic: Help with 20 month old sudden change in sleep/napping  (Read 2805 times)

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Offline marensmama

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Help with 20 month old sudden change in sleep/napping
« on: February 26, 2007, 21:36:44 pm »
I have a wonderful dd who is twenty months old. She is an angel/textbook baby and has never had much in the way of sleep issues.  She slept through the night at 12 weeks and we've only ever had trouble with naps when transitioning from 3 to 2 and 3 to 1.  Her day used to look like this:

6:45 wake-up
7:00 breakfast
10:00 snack
12:00 lunch
1:00 nap
2:30 or 3:00 wake-up
3:00 snack
5:00 dinner
bedtime 6:30 or 7:00

sigh, life was so good... 

BTW, DD is in daycare 4 days a week in a quiet, loving environment with 2 other 2yo girls.  We have a bedtime ritual of three songs, kisses from mommy and daddy, and she went to sleep at night and for naps without any trouble.

now, as of 2 weeks ago, our days look like this:

4:45-5:30 wake up   ???  not encouraged with any activity or extra attention, just into bed with mom and dad, which she normally hates.
7:00 breakfast
10:00 snack
12:00 lunch
1:00 nap or try to, she is suddenly screaming when I try to put her down, if I leave her to cry - which I've never done for more than a few minutes she just escalates until I have to get her because it sounds as though she's truly upset.  She screams, "Mommy, Where are you!?" and "Open the door, open the door Mommy!"  During those times, I pick her up and take her to the couch where she immediately falls asleep on my shoulder.  Some days she'll go down easily, but will wake up after 45 minutes upset and then continues her nap as soon as I pick her up and take her to the couch.   She's slept on me for over an hour each time she's done this.  Again, if I leave her to cry a few minutes to see if she'll settle herself, she just escalates.
3:00 snack
5:00 dinner
6:30-7:00 bedtime - goes down fine, but talks some nights for 20 minutes (not upset, thank goodness!)

She has cut 2 of her 4 eye teeth, and I know that's been giving her grief because her nose runs constantly when she's teething.  I give her ibuprofen when I think it's appropriate.  We also started potty training yesterday (just really introductory, relaxed stuff, I'm not into pressuring her to perform.  The potty has been there for a couple months and she decided on her own to give it a go.)  She's gone in the potty three times and is awfully proud of herself (I know milestones can be sleep disruptors too).

Needless to say, from a selfish perspective, I need more sleep than the 5 am wake-up allows.  I am almost 7 wks pregnant with darling number two, and I could really use the sleep.  My biggest concern though is that she's got herself into an overtired cycle that she can't break out of because there's so much going on and by coping with it the way I have, I'm enforcing these bad habits.  Or is it that she is in so much pain from her darn teeth that she can't sleep well or be alone, and she'll snap out of it as soon as those teeth come through (then come the 2 year molars :o).

She is such a routine child that when she is not behaving in her usual way there's a reason for it.  I'm paranoid about making mistakes that will cause those new behaviors to become bad habits, especially when she's such a good girl. 

Any advice at all would be much appreciated!

Thanks in advance!
Nicole - Mom to My Lovely Girls


Offline mari

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Re: Help with 20 month old sudden change in sleep/napping
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2007, 22:40:39 pm »
Her wake up time is very early so I would try an earlier naptime.  I would go for 12ish rather than 1pm so she could be overtired, therefore resisting naps and if she does go she is so tired that they don't last long enough.

hth

Offline marensmama

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Re: Help with 20 month old sudden change in sleep/napping
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2007, 01:38:43 am »
Thanks for your reply!  When she is at daycare, the girls all nap at 1:00 and since all the girls are very well aware of what the others are doing, I can't see my daycare provider putting them all down at 12:00.  Also, I tried putting her down earlier this , thinking that would help, but she was very resistant.  I don't mean to dismiss your help, I certainly appreciate it, but I wonder if there isn't another solution that could be incorporated at daycare as well.

Another thought, she is a thumbsucker and when she is so congested at the worst of her teething she can't suck and probably wakes up fully early not being able to soothe herself back to sleep as she has always done.  Any input there?

Nicole - Mom to My Lovely Girls


Offline Layla

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Re: Help with 20 month old sudden change in sleep/napping
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2007, 02:08:46 am »
Can you think of anything that might have thrown her schedule off (other than teething)? Daddy/mummy going away or something in the family that may have caused tension in yourself or her? Illness or travel? Does she have problems going for a nap daycare - does she get rocked to sleep or does she go down on her own?

I agree that the nap is a little too late for someone who wakes so early in the morning but I understand what you are saying about daycare as well. On the days that she is at home at least I would do an earlier nap.

Also I would stop the bringing her out and letting her fall asleep on you for naps. You might need to do GW or wi/wo for naps as well as for early wake ups. With some toddlers its purely developmental (waking up so early) so I would do wi/wo until the time you want her to start the day. Try and not bring her into your bed in the morning - I know you mentioned she hated it but she might actually begin to like that and its a hard habit to break.

Does she have a favourite soft toy or something she can take to sleep with her. If she can't really suck her thumb for comfort, something like a blanket or toy might help her as well. Do you give her anything for the nose?



20/06/2012 - my angel baby

Offline marensmama

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Re: Help with 20 month old sudden change in sleep/napping
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2007, 04:23:35 am »
Interestingly, this all started the week we found out we were expecting again.  She is a very perceptive child, and we've been through a lot in the past several months...  My husband's mom died in November, then we had to put our dog down two weeks later and then we had to put our cat down a month after that.  She seemed to be very clingy and emotional at those times, even though we put all our efforts into keeping things normal and low-key for her.  We haven't hidden the pregnancy from her, and we're very happy about the new baby, however I am somewhat anxious about things because of complicated work and extended family issues.  Anyways, she has been extremely clingy this week, no-one but Mommy will do, and she wakes up mid-nap screaming for me.  As soon as I hold her she's OK.

She has a lambie and an elmo that she sleeps with, as well as a blanket.  The lambie and the blanket go to daycare with her.  At daycare she has the same naptime routine, three songs and then down no problem.  She has been waking up after 45 minutes though, and my daycare provider waits a few minutes to see if she'll settle herself (as she always did before) but if and when she escalates, she gets her and lays her on her shoulder so that the other girls won't wake up.  The problem is that this is really new to all three of us.  Maren always slept without any problem for naps and at night, this last two weeks has been mind-boggling.

With the congestion, I've used Dimetapp for nasal congestion and runny nose, but it doesn't seem to help.  Today the congestion was much better, but she still had nap trouble.

I'm familiar with wi/wo, but not GW.  What is that?  Also, with wi/wo, I worry that it would make her more upset to see me go out numerous times.  I'm not against it, I just need to be confident that it would work.

Hope that gives you more info, and thanks again for your help and suggestions.  I will definitely try the earlier nap for the three days she's at home, and check with my daycare provider if she might go down a bit earlier.

If you've got more thoughts, I'd love to hear it!
Nicole - Mom to My Lovely Girls


Offline Layla

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Re: Help with 20 month old sudden change in sleep/napping
« Reply #5 on: February 27, 2007, 05:41:09 am »
You know, Isabella is an extremely perceptive girl as well and even small things that I don't think would effect her do (like my dh & I were going through some issues but never ever argue infront of her & surprisingly enough she started waking at night. May have been a coincidence but she was wanting my attention alot as well. Also I think all that tension you are feeling about work and family is being passed on to her so take a deep breath and try to relax! The baby is a long time away and you need to save your energy for now ;).

GW is gradual withdrawal - here's a link on toddler sleep training which will explain all methods in more detail & the 2nd link is for the difference so will also help you chose what suits your baby.

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

Wi/wo was the only method I've used and it worked great. What I would do thou is have an extra long winddown before bedtime & when you are at home for naps. When the baby was born in my case, Isabella had alot of anxiety issues & I found that spending more time with her at bed and nap times helped ALOT. So plently of hugs & kisses.

Good to hear her nose is not as congested.

hth
Layla



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Offline marensmama

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Re: Help with 20 month old sudden change in sleep/napping
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2007, 22:29:31 pm »
Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I'm not sure exactly what changed, but my little angel is a sleeping angel once again.

She's napped for over 2 hours each day for the last three days, and slept until 6 or 6:30.  I moved her nap earlier on the one day that she slept only until 5, and she settled no problem.  I've been giving her a bit more wind-down time before nap time, especially if I'm changing the naptime, and it's really seemed to work well.  She is also done teething for now, with no more runny nose, so she can suck her thumb and settle back to sleep.

Thanks again, for all your help.  With #2 on the way, I feel so much better about everything when we're all well rested!

Nicole - Mom to My Lovely Girls


Offline Layla

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Re: Help with 20 month old sudden change in sleep/napping
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2007, 00:28:59 am »
Great to hear she is doing well!!! ;D

Take care of yourself & the beautiful miracle growing inside you  :-*
Layla :-*



20/06/2012 - my angel baby