Help! Big boy bed transfer going badly!

[audiobrunette]

Help! It's going on 3 months...and my 2 year old isn't able to fall asleep on his own in the big boy bed, and wakes 2-3 times a night absolutely screaming! Putting him down is a nightmare because I now have a newborn, who doesn't seem to stay quiet downstairs long enough, while I try to put the 2 yr old to sleep. How do parents do it? How do people do the transfer from crib to bed, with a newborn & toddler??? I've tried Thomas the Tank Engine sheets, nightlight etc.. I'm out of ideas!!! I am unable to do the PU/PD method because I'm on my own @ bedtime (my husband works 6 nights/week) and the screaming that goes on during it, disrupts my newborn, then I have 2 screaming kids.

[andibig]

is it possible to put him in the cot or are you using that for the newborn.
its a big transition for them to go from cot to big bed.if he needs to go into a big bed can you put a bed rail on the bed so it feels more like a cot (IE bit more like a cot so he feels more enclosed.)

we recently transitioned sasha to a big bed and she loves it.can you introduce some play time with the bed maybe.sasha likes to get in and out of her bed etc and put toys in the bed when its not sleep time.

[audiobrunette]

 :-[Thanks Sasha...he does have a bed rail, but that hasn't helped...

[Layla]

I agree with pp, is it possible for you to get him sleeping in a cot for the time being until things settle with a newborn? Having a new baby can distrupt sleep as is but trying to have him settled in a big bed would be making the task even more stressful for yourself (and on him).

What do you actually do at the moment when he is put down & gets out? What do you do at night? What does his day look like (wake up time, nap & how long & bedtime).

In theory you would have to keep taking him back to bed as soon as he comes out. Try to be as boring as you can be, no talking, threatening or rewarding. Maybe set up a reward system, like stickers in the morning for every night he has spent in the room and every 3 (or so) stickers later you could reward him with something like a new toy or a treat. It has known to work for some.

With the newborn, could you maybe use white noise running (like a fan) to block out the screams?

I haven't personally had any experience with transitioning to big beds but these were just some things that you might want to try.

hth
Layla

[audiobrunette]

  At bedtime, I've been laying him down & sitting on the floor, until he falls asleep, then creeping out. The problem is I have my newborn screaming in the basement while I wait till my 2 yr old falls asleep. That's why I'm so discouraged. I want to be able to tuck him in & leave. The major problem is that I want to try to train him to fall asleep on his own by laying him down, when he cries when I leave, come back put him back down etc.. BUT my hubby disagrees with even letting him cry between put downs, so I'm torn!

When he wakes in the night, I guide him back to his bed & only say:"Back to bed", then he crawls back into his bed, and falls asleep.

It's really hard when your hubby is not in agreement with what to do...especially when I'M the one that has to deal with these bedtime/night issues because he's only home 1 day/night a week!!!!

[andibig]

(((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))
sounds really tough for you!!is there anyone at all who could look after the newborn whilst putting your 2yr old to bed.Just someone who can come for an hour or so.that way you can concentrate on the older one at bedtime.
difficult that hubby is not in agreement but as you say its you have to deal with the bedtimes.

[Layla]

It is really hard when your dh is not agreeing with you. Mine was the same until I told him to either do all the sleep training or let me do it!!! So at the end of the day, your toddler needs to learn that he is to fall asleep on his own and the only way to do that is to take him back everytime he comes out. Why don't you start on the day/night that he is not there (you said that he is only home once a week) so that gives you 6 days  . And try to explain to dh that its either the toddler crying or the baby crying downstairs.