When to given in to rapid return or insisting on a nap

[Mum of girl, boy, boy]

Hi ya,

My DD has just started climbing out of her cot. I could of transitioned her to a bed sooner as her cot turns into a bed but tried for a week when she was younger and I decided quite quickly to keep her in a cot as long as possible so I could avoid having to sleep train at that age. Any how now she can get in and out of her cot at her leisure we are now officially sleep training and boy is my dd wilful!!

1 week ago she skipped her nap. I tried to return her for 2 hours and by the time DS was up at 315pm decided I couldn't take any more and went out. She was a pain and overtired for the next few days. She so needs her sleep in the day still. I have carried on each day returning her and she hasn't missed a nap yet. It was getting better. The first few days it took 1 hour to get her to nap and gradually got better with her going down straight away again. Today though I hit a brick wall. I felt that I needed to be firm otherwise she wouldn't know where she stood. Basically its nap time and I knew she was tired as she had been up early (that's another story although I know contributes to not settling well at nap times). I kept returning her to her bed until about 3pm (put down at 1pm after playgroup). Then we put a travel gate on the door. She has finally gone to sleep and given in at 4pm!!! I know a lot of people would have given up trying to get there little one down but I am hoping that if I am consistent day and night it will pay off.

Has anyone got any suggestions as to what they did. Should I even bother trying to get her to nap even though I know she needs. I have no idea what the transition to no naps is like but I expect it to be pretty hard work and bumpy with my dd. Does returning them really work??

Any suggestions would be welcomed I am pretty fed up with the amount of effort to get her to nap but it was better the last few days. I would love some suggestions as to where I put the boundaries.

Thanks in advance.

Julie

p.s I know a lot of my non baby whispering friends have given up trying to enforce naps and I wondered if in general baby whisperers thought differently given that we all obviously tried very hard to get naps right in the first place.

[Jaime]

how old is your dd??  (looks like your tickers need updating!    )

[Mum of girl, boy, boy]

She's 2 years 9 months

[Jaime]

okay, chances are this has a lot to do with the novelty of not being in the crib anymore.  i would definitely continue to return her to her room for as long as it takes.  i wouldn't worry too much if she is not in her bed; if she wants to play with her toys i'd let her - she is at least having some lower-level activity, and chances are that she might actually fall asleep on the floor (or tuck herself into bed eventually)

fwiw... sometime after 3YO many babies give up naps. 

HTH a little

[Mum of girl, boy, boy]

OK Thanks.

She finally went to sleep at 4pm even though she was exhausted at 1pm (probably before but as she was at playgroup I didn't see I know she would have been due to being up extra early. After 45 mins I woke her up and she was in a pretty decent mood. Ate a great dinner. Had a good play with DS (enjoyed putting peas and weetabix through the garlic press and messing up all the cookware - but hey better than the tv). I put her down at 8ish. The first time she got out I took her back to bed as she was shouting at the gate "I'm here". The second time I told her if she got out again I wouldn't put her back. She did get out again but I just shouted up that I wasn't coming up and she would need to get back in herself. She shouted she couldn't but I ignored her. 5 mins later she was back in her cot asleep.

Now its gone from bad to worse. Since 8pm shes cries out 3/4 times and it's only 11pm. She needed a wee and to be fair she did drink a lot before bed. The other times she's just upset. Perhaps the overtiredness thing is too much still. I have given some medicine in case she's in pain (she has got her last molar breaking through and a nasty cough). The thing is she won't let me settle her. So basically she cries but won't tell me what's wrong and won't let me do anything (pretty normal for DD though - Little Miss "I CAN DO IT".

To add to the equation we are moving in 10 days. That did throw things out towards the end of last week so we have concentrated on them makings sure we meet there needs more quickly rather than getting caught up in the move. It has helped during the day and they do generally seem happier but perhaps all this is separation anxiety / stress again.

Sometimes when you post something I guess it gives you time to reflect. There are so many variables I don't know what is the issue. The fact that in 10 days we are going through a 9 hour time change makes me wonder if all this is worth it now or not. I really could just do with some more sleep. No early wakings and a good 2 hour break in the day to sort things out for the move.

Thanks for posting.

[Jaime]

sounds like you have a lot going on right now!! 

i agree, it could be any number of variables here.... which might mean that you actually need to be as consistent as possible for her, so she has at least one predictable thing that's a constant.  i might have been inclined to go back to her room & just put her in her cot/bed - w/o talking to her or anything, & just whispering good night & then leaving, rather than ignoring her.... but in the end it's totally your call. 

good luck with moving!!  hope it all goes well for you.

[Mum of girl, boy, boy]

I agree that saying good night would be much better. I did that to start with but then she was just playing a game and after 2 hours I got tired of the game. Perhaps I need to keep it up longer.

I feel sorry for her right now but like you say I need to be consistent.

Thanks for response. J

[Mum of girl, boy, boy]

p.s I've now cut off her black out blinds and put them inside the window so there is absolutely no light. She keeps waking at 6am when the traffic starts and when it gets light. We are changing the clocks this weekend so at least that will help but her room is now like a cave so hopefully we can beat a bit of the overtiredness before our flights.