Extending naps

[Mel D]

Am on 4th day of E.A.S.Y & lo will sleep for approx 30 mins & then whinge but not really cry. Do i leave her until she really cries? Have been doing PU/PD & it's still taking the rest of nap time with no more sleep. Will it get better or am i doing something wrong? She is 5 months & has always only ever gone to sleep on the breast.

[yaya]

I would leave her until she starts to cry,maybe be in the room to jump in there with pu/pd when this happens! Also if she wakes at the 30min mark, have u considered w2s? It might work better for you as it would prevent her from waking totally at 30mins

[malialeanne]

Hi there. Making the transition to an EASY routine and not nursing to sleep is huge, so give it a bit more time! It may take about 2 weeks to see results but it's SO worth it! Give yourself a pat on the back.

Yes, if she wakes at 30 mins you should wait to intervene until you hear crying, but...it's often harder to get them back to sleep the longer they're awake after a short nap. We had success extending naps by gently patting when she started to stir, BEFORE she fully woke (in which case she was nearly impossible to get back down). w2s is another method designed to keep them from waking fully.

How much A time are you aiming for between naps?

[Mel D]

Am distraught & feel like walking away from everything! It's all getting on top of me & am in danger of letting the last 5 days go to waste.I am currently spending about 7 hrs of the day in her room. She still appears so tired & when she does cry after waking it doesn't really sound like a real cry but she won't settle. When i try pu/pd she stops immediately so i put her down & she starts again. I try to soothe her with my hand on her tummy & a shh but to no avail. She is very hungry when the time is up & am wondering if that's why she won't go back to sleep. SORRY i'm whining on!

[yaya]

Oh pls to apologise for whining, go and read some of MY posts LOL
It does sound as tho she is too awake to go back to sleep by the time u intervene, i would really try w2s. Consider staying in her room for her nap after shes gone to sleep and catching her as soon as she stirs OR time the wakings for a few days then try w2s but stay in the room so u can observe.
Also , personal tip, DON't let it get to u liek this, if u've had a day of rubbish naps, go for a drive or a walk in the stroller to let her catch some ZZZs and u some sunlight which is good for the spirit!!1
sleep training is tough and emotionally draining but it won't work if you're both stressed out about it, what does her napping schedule look like at the mo?

[DavidsMum]

Alright I know I may be shot down for this  ;)but my philosophy is that sometimes we try too much at once, small steps at a time may be better. If I read this right you are trying to stop BF to sleep and get your  LO onto a routine all in one, which is being hindered by 30min naps. Maybe she is overtired?

I find that when my DS gets over tired then it all goes down hill and sometimes aided sleep is better than no sleep to get back on track. I find that PU/PD is too disturbing for my DS. If he is overtired and wakes at 30min then I just PU (horizontally) and let him fall asleep in my arms then PD. Maybe this will help get your DD onto the routine you want and not overtired and then she will be able to push herself through the 30min mark. This is how I got him back on track after losing the routine during 4 weeks of illness.

What ever you decide to do with my advice stick to your EASY and stopping the BF to sleep, it may be hard now but in the long run it will be well worth it and make life far easier.

Hang in there

[Mel D]

Thanks for those positive words. We've had a better day today. Until now she has managed to nap from approx 9- 9.30/40 am & 1-1.30/40pm. Catnaps have only been about 20-30 mins at about 5.15pm. Today, however i stayed next to her as always but we managed 1hr 10 & 1hr 20. Hope it continues. How do i know i can walk away?
Thankyou DavidsMum i suppose we are taking big steps to correct several issues. She is generally a happier baby than last week so i can see today i should take strenght from that. We haven't fed to sleep for almost a week now!
Good to have people to talk to as DH doesn't understand.
Thanks again.

[malialeanne]

Congratulations on the good naps! I'm so glad that you're noticing a difference in dd's mood. Good naps make happy babies!

At first when sleep training, we stayed with her almost the entire nap, at least until she was in a deep sleep (but then it was almost time to extend...) When they're in a deep sleep you won't see or feel any muscle movement and breathing will be very even. Oh, how I remember those long hours in the dark cavelike nursery! After a week or two due both to her progress and my own boredom, I started leaving her earlier and earlier and she would usually stay asleep.

Congrats again on the progress! 

[Mel D]

Yesterday was a one off she's back to the short naps! I'm exhausted after her worst night of the week. It took 3 hrs to settle her & she woke in the night. Maybe she just doesn't need all this sleep. Do i carry on regardless only i'm getting more agitayed by the day!
Melissa

[DavidsMum]

Stick with it Mel it will get better. She does need her sleep it is just when they are overtired they don't sleep as well so they do tend to wake at night.

I do recall reading in one of Tracey's books a case study similar to yours whereby the lo had always been shnursed to sleeep, in that situation Tracey recommend several steps to get to independant sleeping, not just straight to PU/PD. I'll see if I can find it so I can tell you exactly which book and page.

[DavidsMum]

Hey Mel I found the case study I was talking about. It is in the Toddler book and titled "Leanne: A chronic sleep problem", p254. This LO was nursed to sleep until she was 14 months old so you should find it a lot easier to break the cycle than her mum.

I was thinking though, whilst going for our arvo walk, that you have come this far so you may as well stick with what you are doing now. It may confuse your DD if you go changing the rules again. But you may find it encouraging/useful to read anyway.

What is the schedule you are trying to get your DD on and what was it previously? Did she ever take good naps? Also what kind of wind down are you doing to get her ready for sleep? If she is used to being nursed she may need a good cuddle to prepare for sleep and then once she is relaxed put her in her cot. Also before her final bed time you can BF her, just not to sleep. this may relax her and then put her in her cot awake and see how she goes. Sometimes if my DS is over stimulated, usually by DH, and is overwrought and can not put himself to sleep I give him a bit of a nurse just to calm him down and then once he is relaxed put him into his cot.

Don't be disheartened by the fact she has started waking at night, as I said she is probably overtired right now, and probably not eating well as a result so she is probably hungry when she wakes at night so you may want to feed her.

From what I gather most DH's don't understand, probably because they are not the ones doing the BF or being "held captive" by their LOs.

[malialeanne]

Mel, I would carry on, as David's Mum says--you've come this far! There's almost always some regression when you try to change a habit. Many 5 month olds need one or two night feeds. We don't df and we have a night feed between one and three a.m. most nights.

In addition to regression from not bf to sleep, taking three hours to settle is likely a timing issue--either too tired or not tired enough. As you're trying to change the habit, it's probably overtiredness. However, I would keep an eye on total sleep and keep in mind that you can't make her sleep more than she needs to. If you know the amount she was sleeping in a 24-hour period prior to putting her own EASY, know that may be the correct amount of sleep for her within an hour or so. Putting her on EASY helps develop healthy sleep habits, better quality independent sleep, and helps YOU to get some rest when she no longer needs you in the night, but it can't make them sleep MORE than their need. Just something to keep in mind. When she's sleeping independently she'll settle into a pattern that includes the right amount of sleep for her own needs--so keep focusing on teaching independent sleep and don't worry SO much about timing, as that will sort itself out once she learns to sleep completely on her own.

Hope this makes sense! You're doing a GREAT job--keep it up and let us know how you're doing!