Hi Sara. First of HUGS!!! Its really hard when they aren't sleeping well, tired & cranky all day but with a little help I know this will get better & you'll have your happy toddler back in no time
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Ok, a few things came to my mind when reading your post.
But 15 or so minutes sitting by her while she went to sleep has recently turned into more like an hour or so a time to get her to sleep and the last week or two she hasnt actually been to sleep before 8.30pm. The later she goes to sleep, the earlier she wakes and she has got back into waking at 5.30am and also the last 2 nights has also woken at 2am!! arrgh it feels like we are going back to the old days.... i'm shattered and feel very fed up that 2 years on from giving birth i'm still getting hardly any sleep!!!
Anyway tonight is the 4th night that we have tried WI/WO. We have also been doing it for her afternoon nap but i have to confess that when she has woken at 2am the last two nights i have just given her milk to get back to sleep so maybe that is completely defeating what we are doing??! It just seems so much harder to do in the middle of the night.
She is obviously very overtired. Later bedtimes and poor sleep in general results in early morning wake ups. The very first thing I would do is cut out the milk at night. I know its waaay harder to deal with a crying baby at night but you are kind of defeating the purpose and confusing her because in the end you are teaching her that when she wakes and cries at night, she needs milk to return back to bed. You can either try watering down the bottle until you get to just water or I would just cut the bottle out alltogether. When she wakes at night you would continue with wi/wo without any props. That also means no picking up, no rocking or anything other than checking on her and then leaving, count, etc.... It might seem harsh but she will soon learn that if/when she wakes at night she is to return back to sleep without help.
Many find that there is regression with wi/wo or other sleep training methods. So its not uncommon for you to have to repeat the process for longer on the 4th night (or even 2 weeks later). Just be consistent whenever she wakes and do the same thing.
The WI/WO started better than expected- I just told her I was going to be tidying up outside her room and to call if she needed me. Actually it only took me going in about 3 times the first 4 times before she went to sleep. But the 3rd and 4th night have been much harder. Tonight we started it at 7.30pm and she didnt go to sleep till about 9pm and both last night and tonight has got herself very upset when I've tried to leave her.
I actually did this as well when mine was 14mo. I modified it a little and would stay with her until she would settle and then leave. If you do this, in my opinion its ok... again as long as you leave her in the cot and are not patting her to sleep or anything like that. But when I'd leave I did count and then return. So, I do think its ok to modify wi/wo a little.
Also generally I've noticed that Lucy rarely sleeps more than 10 hours at night and often more like 9.5 hours - this really does seem too short for a child of her age although overall looking at the info on this site she probably does get enough sleep overall ie 11.5-12 hours. Am I letting her sleep too long at lunch by letting her have 2 - 2.5 hours? I find she's too tired if she only has 1 hour but maybe over time she would adjust to sleep longer at night if I cut her nap short? She always seems grumpy and still tired when she wakes in the morning - I just wish she would sleep in later!!
The av sleep for toddlers is 13hrs. About 11hrs at night and 2hrs during the day. The nap can range through from 1.5-2.5hrs. I would not wake her up from the nap. 1hr is definitely not enough. 2-2.5hrs is fine in my opinion.
I would though change the timing of the nap. I believe 1pm is way too late, especially if she is waking early. This is something I would aim for:
5.30am - wake for the day (which will hopefully dissapear once she is better rested)
no later than 12pm - nap (2hrs)
6.30/7pm - bedtime.
I would definitely bring the bedtime forward at least 30mins so that she can catch up on some sleep. Earlier bedtime often fixes the early wakings. Try for about 4 days or until she is sleeping better and then you can look at pushing her day again. The average awake times is about 5.5hrs (although some can be pushed to 6hrs at the age of 2). So really the nap should begin around 11.30am. Play with the times a little and see how she does. Put her to nap for a couple of days earlier than 12pm and then push it to midday in about a week. I think alot of the overtiredness is from the late nap as well.
Hth & let me know how you go
Layla
