Crying after waking

[yorkshire]

Hello
My 13m ds has often been weepy when he wakes from his nap (when in cot at home, he is ok when waking in car or pushchair) but over the last few days the crying is worse.  He cries inconsolably for around 20 mins after waking from his nap or until I can get him dressed and outside when he cheers up a bit.  It doesn't matter how long he sleeps - 45 mins or 2 hours, he still cries.  He doesn't cry when he wakes in the morning (he gurgles and talks to himself) and mostly he is quite happy so not sure what to do to help him when he wakes up.
Anyone got any thoughts?
P.S. He is mostly Spririted with a little Textbook and a little Touchy thrown in.

[*Natasha*]

Sorry is the 13weeks or months old? If 13months is he on 1 nap or 2?

[yorkshire]

Sorry 13 months.  He is in the process of transitioning from 2 to 1 nap.  Whilst he could still easily nap in the morning, he then can't nap in the afternoon unless we are in the car so it was a long stretch for him from 10am to bedtime.  So he is currently quite tired by late morning but it seemed the better compromise.  He has lunch about 11.45 then nap around 12.30/1.
However, this crying after afternoon nap has gone on a long time (since he was on 2 naps and breasfeeding) its just that it has intensified recently.  He has also just started what seems to be the beginning of asserting his desires strongly (tantrums?!).

TIA

[LeesMom]

Hi Tia,

My DD started doing this around 16 mos. or so after waking both in the mornings and after naps. There would be the occasional times when it didn't happen, but it usually did and it was horrible  Sometimes it sounded exactly like a tantrum, and at its worst went on for 40 min. on one occasion  Over the past few weeks (she's now 18 1/2 mos.), this has stopped. To be honest, I'm not really sure if there was anything I did that "fixed" the situation, but I did try to be more attentive to keeping her awake times to no more that 5.5 hours whenever possible. I also tried to put her to bed earlier if she had a bad nap, and then she usually was able to make up some of the lost sleep. I'm thinking that maybe there was a slight overtiredness issue, but not really a major one. I think that since your DS is going through the 2-1 switch, maybe that's why the crying has intensified lately. One thing that did seem to help with us  was to take DD out of her room immediately after she woke and bring her into the living room where it was light. Then, I would lay her down on the carpet and sit near her and start playing with one of her toys. More often than not, she would forget about being upset and join in the activity. HTH 

--- Jenny

[yorkshire]

Thanks for that.  I am concerned that his morning awake time is too long now: he often wakes at about 6.15am and has been getting down for a nap by 12.30 or sometimes 1.  He is very tired by lunchtime, which I am trying to give at 11.30/11.45 but he now he is walking he wants to be out and about so by the time we have been out (sometimes to a scheduled group) and got back it is difficult to get him in bed any earlier.  The alternative would be to stop going to the groups and activities and just go for a local walk/park and get him to nap earlier like 10.30 or 11 but then I'm not sure what to do about lunch.

A new development - over the last couple of days is that he is sleeping a long time for his nap: yesterday I woke him after 3 hours (he slept 1-4pm) and today he woke himself after 2.5 hours at 3pm.  I am wondering how long is too long for a nap and whether and when I should wake him so as not to disturb his bedtime.

By coincidence, yesterday and today I did what you suggested and brought him out of the room straight away and it seemed to help minimise the crying.

Sorry I seem to have strayed into a new question (When he should nap and for how long) but it all seems potentially linked.

[mari]

Alex is sometimes grumpy when she wakes from her nap and I take her downtairs and cuddle her in front of the television until she comes round.  It seems to take her mind off things.
Other than that, it could be that the nap is too short, have you tried getting him back to sleep at all, especially if the nap is particularly short, he might not be ready to wake.

[LeesMom]

When we were going through the 2-1 nap transition, we had a couple weeks where DD took really long naps and I was always worried about if and when I should wake her. However, at the time she was 15 months and seemed to do okay with a shorter A time (sometimes as little as 3.5 hrs.) between waking from her nap and bedtime. By the time she was about 16 1/2 months, though, she really needed about 5 hours to go down easily at bedtime. I've never really been one to want to wake DD from her nap, although I've done it occasionally. I guess I figure that if she's still sleeping, she must need the sleep (but then again, she's never been a fantastic napper  ).  You might just have to do some trial and error about how long is too long (or late) for a nap. I would think that 3 hours would probably be the max though at this age. Chances are once he's gotten used to the 1 nap, it'll end up being more like 2 hours instead of the 3, although I wish we got 3 hour naps here!!!   

We always do lunch here (about 11:15 or 11:30) before nap but a lot of people have had luck splitting lunch in half --- one part before the nap and one part after. Maybe doing lunch around 11:00 and nap around 11:45 or so? I know it's SO hard to do much in the mornings though (groups, etc.) with lunch and naps at that time. We have that issue too, and so on some days the nap just ends up being a bit later.

Glad to hear that you had some success with taking him out of his room right away. Hope things continue to improve! 

--- Jenny

[yorkshire]

Many thanks.  Will see how it goes over next few days.