4 Hour Easy - Screaming before naps?!

[em_here]

Hi there

My LO is 4 months old and I have implemented a 4 Hour EASY now as she has had health problems so have been unable to introduce any sort of routine.  My problem is that she is perfectly able to self soothe, when she decides she wants to, ie: after night feeds, 1st nap of day.  My problem is that at other naps she screams in temper and goes ridgid with temper!  It gets worse if I use PU/PD, so am laying her on her side doing pat/shh with dummy (her dummy does not put her to sleep, she just sucks it to calm down).  Even then she still SCREAMS with temper, but I am persisting as any attempt to comfort her results in more crying (even crying when picked up), so am not doing CIO, she is doing it herself.  My question is why is she doing this, I think her naps seemed structured, I think I read her cues on time, so am I doing the right thing, listening to her cry and doing pat/shh as I am then not abandoning her?!?  She is my 2nd child but mystifies me!

Here is my routine (today as an example):

E - 7am - 5oz plus Baby Rice
A - 7:30 - 8:45
S - 9-00 - 11:15
Y

E - 11:30
A - 12 - 1:30
S - 1:30 - 3pm
Y

E - 3:30
A - 3:30 - 5:25
S - 5:25 - 6:00
Y

E - 7:20
A- (cuddles with daddy) then bed at 7:45
S- (After a good scream!!!)

Any advice would be appreciated, maybe she is just a baby who cries to wind down?!?

[rebecaq]

Your routine looks good to me so I wonder if maybe she needs a longer wind down routine or a lower key activity before bed.

What personality is she? Can you explain your wind down?

 

- Beca

[em_here]

She is "touchy with a smidge of grumpy, nut mostly v touchy.  At night we wind down by a bath, massage, and feed in a dark room before  a cuddle and put down.  In the day, I find it very very hard to wind her down as I have a toddler tearing about and feel bad putting him in his play pen for every time I try to put her down (although I am having to do that now due to the screaming!).  I try to give her a cuddle and take her into the darkened bedroom, before sleep, and I know she is probably overstimulated, but am at a loss as to how to wind her down as she gets so hysterical so quickly.  In the pre naptime cuddle she is very calm, it is literally on the way down to the mattress when she goes beserk.  I thought I had this EASY thing sussed, but the nap part I don't!! Any tips for a quick, but effective wind down, or does her type mean she is harder to wind down?!  Thanks so much for your quick reply it is so appreciated

[rebecaq]

Awww hun  {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Is there something you can have her brother do that might keep him busy for a while? Leggos? Crayons? I'm on a no tv kick at the moment, but I'm sure when the baby is born I'll have ds#1 watch a video or something in the meantime.

I do think her personality is playing against a " quick, but effective wind down".  Have tried doing a cuddle type activity with her in her crib? It might help her to associate with a happy and relaxed place.

- Beca

[em_here]

Thats a thought, but am sure I will break the cot!  Tried to get in with my DS when it was his cot and it sounded ready to crack and I'm only 9st.  I have put a mobile in the cot, and made it look appealing!?  Maybe I could try harder with a wind down and sacrifice a little of the time with DS, as in the long run I suppose it will give me more time with him, and see how it goes, thanks for your comments, its greatly appreciated and a huge relief as I thought my routine was not too bad, but then thought I must be going wrong?!?!?

[rebecaq]

Awwww hun, I didn't mean with you in the crib with her! LOL  I meant stroking her back or just being super loving while she's laying down in it. 

As for ds, don't feel bad, a good way to compensate is to tell the baby is a loud voice "I can't pick you up right now, your brother needs me" every once in a while. He will see that you make the baby wait for him. 

- Beca

[em_here]

LMAO at me!!! In the baby whisperer book it said about climbing in with your toddler so assumed you were saying the same about baby!?!?  Ooopss very embarassed now lol lol lol, I obviously have not had enough sleep!!!!!!!!!!    I will def try the cuddle time and see what happens, fingers crossed for me! Oh yeah, and when she wakes 45 mins through her morning nap, we have to do the same thing again, crying fit etc, in order to keep the nap going, as she is a wreck on only 45 mins, needs at least 2 hrs!!!

[rebecaq]

Well, let's tackle one thing at a time. i think you should focus on getting her into her crib happily and finding the right wind down routine for her. Once going to bed is a good experience for her we can try to extend her naps 

LOL @ not getting enough sleep. Been there done that!

- Beca 

[em_here]

Have been trying a wind down and now she goes happily into her cot, but she needs shh/pat and her dummy to calm down and go to sleep, am i being a prop in this way?  Cant just leave her to cry, she calms with me near her!

[rebecaq]

Hmmmmmm, do you have to pop the dummy back in? For example, if it falls out does she wake?

[em_here]

No she does not wake if it falls out, just uses it to calm herself to sleep.

[rebecaq]

Then  it's not a prop 

[em_here]

Thats OK then, did not think it was a prop as do not have to put it back in, so am glad that was clarified.  Thank you 

[rebecaq]

No prob