Trouble with S for my 10.5 week old - PLEASE HELP!

[Lillys Mom]

I am desperate for some advice!!!

I have read the FAQ, 2 of Tracey's books, the sleep interview and lots of the messages on the boards.  This is baby number 2 for me but my first was a complete angel baby.

My LO in 10 1/2 weeks old now.  I did not start the BW methods until my LO was 7 weeks old.  Then she was having trouble going to sleep at all and staying asleep for naps and night time.  Now I have started a bed time routine, wind down time, the 4 S's, really watching her cues, cluster feeding and dream feeding and she goes down for her nap wonderfully but wakes up after 40 - 45 minutes.  For a while she was taking a 2 hour morning nap and not waking up after the 40 minute mark until her second nap, but now it is all the naps. 

I have tried the wake to sleep, once she even popped her eyes open for a split second and looked at me but she still woke up 10 minutes later at the 40 minute mark.  I have tried waiting for her to stir and patting her back and she just wakes all the way up then and then you will spend until the next feed trying to get her to go back to sleep, where she will sleep for 8 minutes or so and wake back up.  I have darkend her room, I play a white noise machine in there I only have on more idea.  I read in one of the books that for 4 month olds if they are waking up to go in there at the 30 minute mark and pat there back through the wake up.  I am not sure if that will work for Lilly.  I was thinking maybe I would try going in there at the 30 minute mark and waking her slightly and then patting her back, but that is my last idea.  What do you think?

I NEED to do something.  She is SO TRIED by the end of the day and I work from home.  I spend ALL DAY doing naps and Lilly hardly ever gets to play because after the nap cycle ends and she eats she is so tired that we have to go back to sleep.  I am not getting any work done and I am afraid I will loose all of my clients!!!!!!!  Then I will have to go back to work and that will not help anything!

The beginning and end of our days are always the same but the middle gets all mixed up because she will not stay asleep.  Here is our routine:

She usually wakes around 6:30 or 7:00
Wind down around 7:15 or 7:45 (she is always real tired in the morning)
Sleep by 7:30 or 8:00 (if she wakes after 45 min I pat and shh until she sleeps but that usually takes until eating time)
Eat 9:30 or 10
This is where the days gets mixed up.  If she slept the whole nap she would stay up for an 1 - 1 1/2 hours, but she wakes up after 45 minutes and will go back to sleep for a few minutes and wake for a few minutes and so on and so on.  She eats every 3 hours.  Depending on how tired she is we play for about 10 minutes and then I can see that she is tired so we try the nap again.  She will go down for her nap great but again after 40 - 45 minutes she is up and we try to go back to sleep until the next feed.  I would let her stay u p longer and play but she is CRANKY and obviously tired after 45 minutes.
Somehow she always ends up eating around 1:00
Eat 4:00
Sleep 5:00 or so she takes a cat nap
Eat 6:00
Then bath, massage, the 4 S's and bed
Sleep 7:15 - 7:30
Dream feed 10:30
Eats 4:30 or so

THANKS!

[malialeanne]

Hi, sorry you're having a tough time. Our 45 min naps started around that age too. I remember those days of spending almost all day in the dark cave-like nursery and feeling like I was going to lose it!

The good news is that she'll outgrow it and in the meantime you can help with nap extension techniques. Bad news: it takes time and a ton of work. I have been able to extend them by listening for her first peep around the 40 minute mark and patting her until she's back asleep. It took a good month before we saw results, though. Now she does about 60 - 70% of her naps on her own and it's SOOO nice. When she does wake, it's super easy to get her to go back down.

When naps were short we did 5 short naps during the day and didn't worry about following EASY too closely. We ended up with about a 2.5 hour schedule which gradually increased to 3 hours around 3 months and is now at 4 hours most times.

Also, w2s didn't work for us for naps. Same problem as you. I know it's worked for others, though.

Good luck and hang in there. I would also say, you can kill yourself trying to extend naps and in the end, most babies will outgrow the 45-minute monster whether or not you do anything. So do your best but know that there's only so much you can do, and time will take care of the rest!

Malia