Hello, my ds is 8 1/2 mo old and is in his 3rd week of BW sleep training. He used to be rocked/held to sleep from birth, but now falls asleep for all naps and nighttime in his crib. (I have posted other messages on this board for those interested in the history under PU/PD and General sleep issues). The past few days or so my ds has been night waking...or should I say, waking and fussing and not going back to sleep unless I intervene by going in and putting a hand on him and talking to calm him. This is unusual, b/c he rarely woke at night even before we started the BW methods (except for feeds when he still needed them).
Since the BW sleep training I have been responding to this kind of fuss/crying in his crib within the first few minutes by going in and putting a hand on him to calm him back to sleep. I have been doing this to extend his naps from 40 min. to about 1 1/4 hours each (2 per day) and if he wakes at night. However, since he woke up 5 times each night over the past 3 days (the night in between he briefly cried out but put himself back to sleep) I have been trying to letting him fuss it out longer before going in to him. I am afraid to slip into accidental parenting on the one hand and a kind of controlled crying on the other. Is it ok to let them fuss for awhile and not respond, or is that just like CIO? His fuss/crying doesn't escalate or anything when I don't respond, it just sort of stays the same but could go on for 20 minutes or more. When I peak through the door he is normally putting his head up and squirming around in his crib. I guess it is sort of a fussy cry/mantra type cry, like he sometimes does when he is first settling to sleep or when he is unsuccessfully trying to crawl (so far he creeps). Before this pattern started sometimes I heard him fuss/cry out at night for a minute then he'd right back to sleep on his own, but the past few days he hasn't been going back to sleep on his own.
FYI-he usually does the same fussy/mantra cry when I first put him down for naps (especially if overtired or overstimulated) and almost ALWAYS at bedtime. Since we started BW I used to stay in the room with him during these fussy times until he settled, either with a hand on him or sitting next to his crib, but recently I started leaving because when I stayed he would stop fussing and start to play or babble. If I leave him alone to fuss, usually at bedtime, he almost always fusses himself to sleep in 15 minutes or so. If it ever escalates to actually crying or intense fussing I usually do go in and put a hand on him to calm him and he will eventually go to sleep.
In any case...is it ok to let him fuss/mantra cry on his own, or am I doing things wrong? I don't want to break his trust by not responding but don't want to set up a bad pattern either. I am not sure why he is night waking at this point...it could be teething (already has 7 teeth working on #8) or milestones...he is very close to crawling on all fours. He still cannot pull up or sit himself up on his own though. Any help would be appreciated. I was not sure where else to post on this issue. Thanks!
