Use of WIWO for NW

[happy2bamum]

Hi all,

My DD was waking at 5am but now is back to waking at 6am, thankfully. She is now waking through the night though. I have been going into her when I hear her call out to me during the night and just laying her back down and covering her with the blankets. She has been going straight back to sleep (as far as I can tell) which is fantastic news. But my DH pointed out tonight "weren't we supposed to be encouraging her to self-settle?" I have heard her settle herself through the night but at other times she calls out for help. I am a bit confused now. What I want to know is: when you hear your LO call out or have a cry during the middle of the night, do you respond immediately or wait for a while? I just find that if I wait for a while, I end up having to do WIWO. Or is that what I should be doing? Am I helping her too much by not waiting til she properly cries and then doing WIWO?

thanks for your advice up til now!

D

[Layla]

Hi there. Me again!

Isabella will cry out sometimes in her sleep. I don't go to her unless it turns into a full blown cry. Doesn't happen often. I think its best to leave her if she is just fussing or calling out I would give her time to settle but if it turns into a cry then I would do wi/wo

Just a thought
Layla

[happy2bamum]

Thanks Layla.

She mainly calls out "Mama" during the night now which certainly beats the crying that we used to get pre-WIWO. I think I need to get back to letting her try to settle herself before I go in. Hate to say it - but DH is right. I need to stop rushing in. I think I'm already preparing myself for rushing in in order to avoid an all-out cry which may wake a second baby. But hopefully I can get it sorted before the second baby arrives - about 8 weeks or so now I wouldn't mind if she was only waking a few nights a week during the night but it is turning into a nightly thing again. At least I'm not bringing her into our bed now and she settles back down very quickly. But it seems to me that she is relying on me to tuck her in again in order to get back to sleep.

Thank you so much for all of your sensible help! I really appreciate it. If I can't find the answer in Tracey's books, I can rely on you and Mari (hope I haven't forgotten any mods) in this sleep for toddlers forum to provide me with some good advice.

[mari]

Do you have a monitor?  I don't use one for Alex now, but she calls out sometimes and, like Layla, unless it turns to a full blown cry then I don't go in.  I also hear her cry and I sometimes go in quietly, have a look and listen and she will actually be crying in her sleep (probably a dream)
I have been listening to these cries for ages now and I have learned to work them out.  I can actually listen from my bed and know whether it is blankets off, can't find her sippy etc.  It takes a little practice, but have a listen first.  rushing in could be doing more harm.

[happy2bamum]

Hi Mari,

I do have a monitor but I haven't used it since DD was 6 months old. Very naughty of me I know! But I was even worse with my monitor believe it or not! Part of the problem has been my own rushing in too quickly to respond to DD's every little noise. I never hung back enough and tried to give her time to settle. I'm hoping I've learned my lesson for the next one...

Part of my worry is that if I don't check on her, there might be something wrong eg wet right through or something.

Any hints on what the different cries sound like? hehe - you could be like that Dunstan lady who has written about the different cries of newborns and made a fortune except your advice can be on kids past 3 months of age. I feel a bit clueless on that front! I will practice it though...I agree totally that rushing is doing more harm than good as NWs are becoming a bit of a habit again.

back to the drawing board! 

[mari]

I'm glad that you don't use a monitor, It makes you go in too quickly.

I can't tell you about what her cries mean, it takes time to listen and watch and all of them are different. All I can say is that sometimes a cry is not nessesarily a cry, it could be a grissle that is helping to settle, or it could be a dream.
what I would advise is, perhaps you can just stand near the door, out of her sight and try to monitor the situation from there.