2 Year old child with sleeping problems....

[freitas]

Hi,

I need help with my 2 year old child.

When she was a baby, she started sleeping all night long since 2 months, then slept in her room since 3 months. Never gave me much problems, as she as a baby eat and slept all day.

When she was about 17 months, she started screaming during the night, and I tried to calm her down, I used the PU/PD method and she improved one week later. One month after, she started again, and as I was very tired, I started to bring her bed to my room. She used to wake up, looked at me, I sometimes gave her my hand and she fell  asleep again. But then, she started to cry continuously and only stooped if I took her to my bed.

That's where the problem started.... Now she only falls asleep in my bed, then I put her in her crib. During the night, at about 02:00am, she cries and I bring her to my bed again.

 

Now she is starting to fall asleep very late at night, at about 23:00, gets up at about 09:00 and now is starting to refuse to take a nap in the afternoon. And when she accepts it, it's already very late to take a nap - 17:00 / 17:30 and sleeps 2 hours...

I think that because of the lack of sleep she is having, she now is more upset during the day. She used to be a very happy baby, and now she is always crying during the day... She used to wake up smiling, and now she wakes up crying.

I realised too, that the sleep she has isn't calm, she cries frequently during the night and calls sometimes for me or when she looses her soother.

Now my big problem is that I found out I'm pregnant, so I need to solve this problem as soon as possible, before the new baby arrives.

How shall I start?  Please can you help me?

Regards,

C. Freitas

[mari]

Hello.

I think that firstly you need to work on her routine.

aim for something like this for her age:

Wake up 7ish

Nap 12ish for hopefully 1.5-2 hours

Bedtime 7ish.

Try to stick to it, if she misses the nap, do an earlier bedtime of 6pm.

How does she go to sleep at bedtime?

I would not recommend PUPD at her age as she is too old now, it will break your back!!  Instead, try PD.

Have you heard of Gradual withdrawal or Walk in Walk out?

Here is a link, take a look and see what you think.  it explains, in detail, the method and how to do it and also will help you to understand which one is best for your baby.

[freitas]

Hi,

first I have a problem, my baby stays at home, with a Nanny that arrives at my home at 08:30. So, she usually gets up at that time. That's more or less the time I leave to work. Me and my husband, we get up at 08:00. 07:00 is too early for me. In that case, she would get up at 08:00, sleep at 13:00 and go to bed at 20:00?


What do you mean with this?

"How does she go to sleep at bedtime?"

Do you mean what I have to do to make her fall asleep? I stay in bed with her, read her some stories and she never wants to sleeps, she always want to get up and play, so I have to hold her close to me, then she gets upset, cries and falls asleep very tired.

She used to see TV with me in my room and I think that helped her habit of staying awake until late.

Now,  don't turn the TV anymore.


C Freitas

[mari]

Yes that's what I meant. 

Ok, where does she sleep now?  if it's in your room, you need to get her out of the habit.  If it's in her room, then I would say, quit laying on the bed with her, but b all means stay with her, perhaps on a chair or bed in her room.  Teach her to fall asleep without your body contact to start with.  If she needs this to fall asleep then she wil surely need it when she wakes.

the routine that you suggested seems fine if it suits you, the one that I suggested was a guidline. 
Try to get your nanny on board with you, how is she falling asleep for naps? 

[freitas]

Now she sleeps in my room.

The naps, the nanny says she falls asleep in her lap and then the nanny puts her in the crip, in her room.

If she is with me, I usually nap with her in my bed (both).
 

Then you suggest that I take her to her room and sleep in different bed. But how will I make her fall asleep?

PS In the first post I didnt get the link


freitas

[mari]

ok, this will be the hard bit, but with consistency you will be able to do it.

It might take lots reassurance and telling her that it's ok, she is just going to sleep.  Try PD and saying, it's ok, mummy is just here with you, you are only going to sleep.  Do pd for as long as possible.  You really need to teach her to sleep without body contact, if you think of it, we all wake from time to time during the night, so will your dd, and when she wakes, whe will be unable to put herself back to sleep as she needs you to help her.
Take it slowly, one step at a time.

Hope this works, if not (I don't have much confidence in my technical powers  ) you will find the info on the sleeping for toddlers board in the FAQ section

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

[freitas]

Mari,

I think i will start with The Gradual Withdrawl Method because sometimes she even cries to the point of vomiting.

I'll start in the weekend and see if it works.

It will probably take days or weeks as she is so old...

When I think of the episodes I see on TV when Tracy helps parents, I don't know how i will survive, but i have to do it. it's for her good and mine.

many thanks


I'll keep in touch

freitas

[mari]

Please stay in touch.  I will help as much as I can.  it will take at least 2 weeks before you see an improvement, so stick with it, even if you think it isn't working.  If you stop too early it could cause further problems at it will confuse her.  But she isn't too old, you can do it.

[¤ Efka ¤]

Moving it in toddler sleep, then other in similar position , could have reference point.
Let us know how it goes.

[freitas]

Sorry Peike,

but I didn't understand what you mean...

You know I'm not english..

freitas

[¤ Efka ¤]

Neither am I
Well I just moved it to other board.Toddler sleep.
As she is toddler now,maybe other moms with same problems like you, could get help from it too.

[mari]

Freitas

How are things going?

Mari

[freitas]

Well, now I have a problem.

My pregancy is only 3 weeks, and i'm feeling many pains. I tried to beginn, but the problem is that it's very tiring for my actual situation. The two nights i tried, she starts screaming in her crib, and wants to come to my lap. The fact that I have to reach her in the crib all the time, makes me many pains.

From what I understood, what I have to do is:

Take her to her room, put her in her crib and stay with her while she is screaming.
I only do the PD method and move away from her.
When she calms down I leave the room.
If she screams again I enter the room, do PD, etc...

I have to do the same thing for her nap, right?

One thing she is better, she is sleeping her nap earlier, therefore, going to bed at night earlier too - 21:30
And she wakes up earlier too, at about 07:30-08:00.

Freitas

[mari]

You could try to just tap the area where her head should be and try to get her to lay down herself rather than actually putting her down.  Put down used to anoy Alex but I used to have more success if I could get her to do it herself.

I used to tap the area of the cot where her head should be, then leave the room, then return and tap again and so on.  she didn't lay down straight away, but she got the message eventually.