Help! Toddler with Atrocious schedule!

[Trentsmommy]

Hi,
My son is 20 months old.  He is the poster child of the Touchy baby temperament, and has been an early waker his whole life.  Nothing I've ever tried to move up his schedule has worked.  Right now, he wakes between 4:45 and 5:15 FOR THE DAY.  I used to be able to get him to go back to sleep til 5:45 (sleeping in!) with milk, but now that he is in full blown toddler mode it doesn't work.  Since he wakes so early, he still takes two naps.  I know he is old too be doing this, but he can't make it through the day.  He usually naps at around 9:00 for 45 min. to an hour.  Then, he'll take another one about the same length at 2:00.  Lately, he's even resisting the second nap (partly due to molars, I think).  His bedtime used to be a firm 7:00-lately I've had to put him down at 6:30 or even 6:15 to try to counteract the overtiredness.

So now he is getting more nighttime sleep, but it's in the early evening instead of the morning!!  How can I ever get him off of this early early waking?  About the only thing I can think of is wake to sleep.  I was thinking of trying it around 3:30 since anything from 4:15 on seems so dicey.
What do you think?  Wake to sleep with a cup of milk?  A diaper?
My ds is as strong willed as they come, so pls bear that in mind with your suggestions.
Anyone out there...I could really use the help!
Thanks, Gail

[M and N's Mom]

Wake to sleep with a cup of milk?  A diaper?

Sorry to hear things are rough.  I can't imagine starting the day that early.  I don't really have suggestions except to say that Wake to sleep shouldn't involve milk or diaper change.  You don't really want to WAKE them, just slightly stir them or disrupt their sleep cycle.  When I have done it I have gone in and gently stroked DS's face or poked him very gently until he slightly stirred and then hurried out of the room so he didn't see me.

Good luck!

[Layla]

Hi Gail, sorry to hear you're having some sleep troubles at the moment.

I think the 1st thing to work on is to get him to take 1 nap rather than 2. Its great that he is doing an earlier bedtime. He should wake up better rested and should be able to stretch in the morning. To get him napping once a day, you could either do a mini catnap in the morning (like 10mins at 9am) & then shoot for a longer nap in the afternoon (no later than 12.30pm) OR keep him awake until 11isham & let him have 1 long nap then. The mini catnap never worked for my DD since she was 16 months so if 10mins is enough to refresh him for the whole day, I would keep him up until 11/11.30. I know that a long stretch but try to take him out of the house, provide him lots of stimulation, out in the park, running around, playing with the ball, etc.... Then once you get closer to nap time, do a longer windown routine... something relaxing so that he goes down for a nice long nap. If he successfully takes a long nap, put him to bed at 6/6.30pm & keep doing the same thing until he is steadily taking that 1 nap. Then you can start pushing that nap to midday and bedtime at 7pm & hopefully a wake up of 6am.

I wouldn't do the milk or diaper change in the morning cause the milk is a prop and changing nappy will wake him right up. I would do wi/wo until the time you want him up https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0. When he is up, is he happy to lay in bed until you get him or does he start calling out for you straight away? If he's happy leave him until you are ready to start the day. Delay milk until the desired breakfast time otherwise his stomach is trained to wake for food straight away.

You can try W2S in the morning (about an hour before he wakes up) but you need to stir him (so move blanket or stroke his arm or something) and then leave. W2s is usually for habitual wakings but I believe in your case his waking is from the schedule and incorrect nap times.....

How is he sleeping at night? Is it SOLID 11hrs or does he wake often and require your attention....

hth & let me know what you think
Layla

[Trentsmommy]

Thank you both for your replies!  I think I will just try to stretch his awake time as long as I can.  I tried the catnap thing before (although for 30 min., not 10) and he just became a total grouch...it was awful!  Trent sleeps well at night.  Sometimes we hear his music toy somewhere around 4 or 4:30, so it is really just the mornings that are tough.
We are in the habit of giving him a cup of milk right when he wakes up.  Should I not give him the milk until a little later?  Should I do w/i w/o until 6:00.? He just seems to get furious when I do that, so I'd have to stretch the time in between w/i and maybe just do it til 5:30 to start.

Also, should I continue to try putting him down for his second nap if he just lays there and rests, or should I just cut it out entirely, and maybe just read some books/watch a video in the living room for some down time?

Thanks a lot for your help!  Today he woke at 5:15 (asleep about 6:30 last night) and napped from 9:35 to 10:42.  Right now it's 2:55, and he's been in his crib about 5 minutes...his music is still on-hope I didn't mess up by putting him in a second time, but I just thought, at least he's resting.
Let me know!
Gail

[Layla]

Should I not give him the milk until a little later?  Should I do w/i w/o until 6:00.? He just seems to get furious when I do that, so I'd have to stretch the time in between w/i and maybe just do it til 5:30 to start.

I would delay the milk until at least 30mins after wake up. I would leave him in the cot until 6am if he's just talking,etc... If he's crying then try wi/wo but to be honest, he's probably overtired and going back to sleep in the morning when you are generally overtired is hard. I really think dropping the morning nap will help.

Also, should I continue to try putting him down for his second nap if he just lays there and rests, or should I just cut it out entirely, and maybe just read some books/watch a video in the living room for some down time?

If he's been up since 11am, he really needs to have some quiet time at least. Again, his nap should be somewhere in the middle of the day. Don't let him sleep so much in the morning. If you are finding he is really grumpy in the morning (because he's been up so early), take him out of the house, change of scenery, try and distract him OR if you have to, give him a mini catnap, although I do believe toddlers can do wonders on 20mins (be as refreshed as if they slept 2hrs, lol) and will fight the 2nd nap.....

Its great that he slept 11hrs overnight. It should be easier to keep him awake when he;s sleeping well at night

Layla

[Trentsmommy]

Thanks, Layla!  I have one more question for you-in the past I've been told to extend the awake time by about 15 minutes every 3 days or so.  Do you recommend this, or should I just try to keep him up until 11:00 by taking his mind off things?
I think yesterday might've backfired on me in the big picture.  He slept an hour in the  morning and 45 minutes in the afternoon, so he went to bed at 7:00, but didn't fall asleep until 7:40.  This morning he still woke at 5:10, but with a lot less sleep in him to get him through this morning.  Plus, we live in Phoenix, so we really can't even play outside right now unless it's

[Trentsmommy]

Thanks, Layla! I think yesterday might've backfired on me in the big picture.  He slept an hour in the  morning and 45 minutes in the afternoon, so he went to bed at 7:00, but didn't fall asleep until 7:40.  This morning he still woke at 5:10, but with a lot less sleep in him to get him through this morning.  Plus, we live in Phoenix, so we really can't even play outside right now unless it's very early or we're in the pool...it's already 100 degrees these days!
I have one more question for you-in the past I've been told to extend the awake time by about 15 minutes every 3 days or so.  Do you recommend this, or should I just try to keep him up until 11:00 by taking his mind off things?
Gail

PS I accidentally posted before I was done, so I tried to post it again!

[yaya]

i agree with layla...the am nap is counted as nightsleep so it will reinforce an early wakeup.

[Layla]

If it were me, I would keep him awake till 11am and then start adding 15-30mins until you have him at noonish. It depends on your child as well. I could stretch Isabella in 30min increments sometimes and she would do ok....

Maybe try some indoor activities like listening to music and dancing, playing about.... anything really just so he doesn't fall asleep, lol. If he is miserable by 10.30, out him down and let him sleep as long as he wants. If he only has an hour, I would do a super early bedtime (as early as 6pm) until his nap is closer to noon, I would do an earlier bedtime.

Let me know how it goes