Teddy has become a prop... help!

[Pimento]

My DD is coming up to 21 months old and up to 12 months was a fantastic sleeper - no props, gets herself off to sleep with no bother etc.  Since then, we've had various times of problems with sleep that we've managed to resolve as we've gone along without any AP sneaking in I think.

However, for the last month or so, she wakes several times a night about half the week because she either can't find her ted in the cot or it's fallen on the floor.  I literally pick it up, lay her down and walk out adn she goes back to sleep.  BUT... the last week or so she's started playing games at bedtime and throwing ted out then saying "Oh Oh, Teddy Floor"!  We've simply been doing the same as in the night and she seems to have got the message.  Now, she's waking between 4-5am, throws teddy out and then cries, if I go in at that time there is no settling her and she's up for the day.  It seems like teddy has become a real problem as she always sleeps with him and has done for more than a year but is now able to throw him out the cot which is one problem and also wakes when she can't find him which whilst I know he's a comforter by Tracey's description it's as if he's become a prop.

I'm at a real loss to know what to do, my dh thinks we should let her CIO which I don't feel comfortable with but at the same time this lack of sleep is nearly killing me, especially as I'm also 7 months pregnant!

Any ideas or experiences that might help would be very gratefully received.

Thanks,
Kelly

[headinoz]

We had a similar issue with our DD and her dummies.  She was throwing them out of the cot 10 or 15 times a night and it was VERY frustrating to say the least!  We moved her into a big girl bed (not just because of the dummies) and that stopped the dummy game - though we did trade it for some other issues.

When Madeleine was still in her cot, what I did was wait a few minutes (5, then 7, then 10) before going back in to give her back the dummies.  I figured that she should know that Mummy will come back, but not expect that by throwing the dummies out she would get an immediate response.  I also made sure that I said absolutely nothing to her, didn't interact with her at all when I went back into the room.  I just handed her the dummies, let her lie down, and left the room. 

HTH... I know how frustrating it is!!!

Heather

[MDHmommy]

Can you start by helping her find it on her own? So like, if she's awake and teddy is in the bed, say to her: "there's teddy, reach over and get him and then it's time to lie back down and go to sleep." When she reaches over to get him, leave, and do Wi/Wo as needed until she's back to sleep.

If she tosses teddy - you can say - uh oh, teddy's on the floor, no more teddy, lie down and go to sleep and then do Wi/Wo as needed.

She needs to learn that she's in control of teddy - not you, and that it's up to her to either keep him in bed or not, but that's not something you'll help with. No different than when she was a bit more of a baby and you stopped picking up the x,y, and z that she tossed from her high chair for the 30th time...

What do you think?

[Layla]

Isabella just recently started this... throwing teddy out as soon as I leave the room. I simply go back and give it to her and leave. I wouldn't suggest the increments of 5, 7 and 10mins, especially if she's crying out for it/you. You don't want her to feel like she's being punished. This is a phase and will pass. Just go back and give it to her and leave. When you say there is no settling her at 4-5in the morning... tell me more please. Does she throw the teddy out and when you give it back, she will simply stay awake until you get her up or cries or what?


Could you please tell me about her day? She could be finding it hard to settle early in the morning if she's overtired or something in her schedule might need tweaking.... if she's been able to settle at night when you simply give teddy to her, not being to settle early in the morning might be due to something else.

Layla

[Pimento]

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts and sorry for my late response... things have been hectic and as is so often the way with this little tinker, things seem to settle down from the minute I posted! 

Interestingly we pretty much decided that ted was a prop and had to go based on the middle of the night wakings and not once has she woken since because she couldn't find him!  Like the ideas from MDHMommy but the issue with getting her to find him is that she's usually not even properly awake, just not asleep and all disorientated.  The other problem with saying that 'ted is on the floor now so he stays there' is that during the night, sometimes he falls out just from her turning over etc. so it's tricky to know whether he's been thrown out or not so it feels a bit harsh to force her to go without if you know what I mean.  I might be being far too soft on this!

As for mornings, I've brought her nap time forward about 20/30 mins and knocked 15mins off and for a week now, that has resulted in much better nighttime sleep as well as helping significantly with the early starts.  (routine is now awake and up between 6 and 7am, nap 12.30 to 2.30 then bed at 7.15) Twice she has woken at 5ish and when we've tried to settle her at that time in the past she just gets more and more hysterical and my big concern is that we could go through the process for an hour and then at 6am say okay, it's time to get up.  My concern with that is that we'll have inadvertently taught her to cry and for long enough and she'll get what she wants.  However, with renewed determination, when she has woken, we've given ted back, not made eye contact and quietly said "it's not time to get up, it's sleep time", laid her down and walked out.  Subsequent times, we've said nothing and just given ted and laid her down.    We had to do this three times on both occasions and she then shocked the hell out of us by falling back to sleep and waking up about two hours later so clearly still tired!  What was surprisng was that my dh did this first and had virtually no crying.  When I did it she got much more worked up and was physically resisting being laid down so I just left her sitting in the cot but the  3rd time I went in she accepted it and that was that.

Maybe she senses that we're now very definite on what we're doing and is responding accordingly?!  In the morning when i go in and ted's on the floor that's the first thing she tells me (oh oh, teddy floor) and I say "how did he get there, did you throw him" and she nods looking a little sheepish :-)  I then just reiterate that she must keep ted in bed and I say the same before nap time and at bed time.

Sorry for a ridiculously long response but wanted to share in case it's of help to anyone else.  As is always the way, I'm not saying this problem is now sorted but it is significantly improved and hopefully we won't need to take ted away after all!

Kelly
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