REFUSING FOOD AT HOME

[wilkes]

Hi guys, we have a 19mth old boy who eats lovely during the day at nursery, but as soon as he gets home he plays his face and won't eat his meal.  We all sit around the dinner table and he his close to his mommy / daddy so he is not sitting alone. We place a small portion in front of him and then he will push it away or play with it then scream his head off.  We have not had this problem with him before and we are a bit confused as to why it has started now and how to handle it.  Do we ignore it / him? what do you suggest, any ideas would be appreciated.

Thank you.

[annary]

Hi! My boy isnt going to nursery until September so I cant give you the comfort of an experienced reply, but my lo is a fuss eater too-not really what he- but when. Could it be that your lo is not hungry enough to eat. Have you tried adjusting his meal times. I say this only because the behaviour you described is very similar to Thomas's when he is confronted with a meal and not hungry. Just a thought. Good luck. Anna 

[taygensmom]

Does he have a late-afternoon snack at daycare? How about milk/juice in the afternoons? What is his eating/milk schedule?

[mmagnano]

We have a similiar situation, but with a much younger child (12 months). Of note: she is a very light eater and always has been. However, she eats beautifully at school (day care), but at home she cries through 80% of her meals. I do not think that the food is the problem as she is eating the same or similiar items as at school. Our response to her tears, fits, and fussing is simply to end the meal and remove her from the table (which inevitably stops the crying). However, perhaps this is "feeding" the problem???

Any thoughts or suggestions?

[annary]

Gosh, tricky one. The only thing I could think of is that she misses the company of others eating around her..maybe she feels pressured?...funny little creatures babies arnt they??!!!They certainly keep us guessing too.

[taygensmom]

mmagnano,

What do you do when she cries/refuses? I know you said you end the meal but do you offer something a little later? Do you offer something else or the foods from the previous meal? Does she snack during the day on food/milk? I sounds like it may be more related to her feeding schedule and/or possibly what happens after she refuses (i.e. something else if offered a little later, the samel "meal" foods are offered at a later time). If you show your feeding/milk schedule and how you typically respond to the crying/refusal that would give us more insight to help!

[Mum to cool dude]

We only have cheese and crackers in the evening after nursery. That's because DS has sandwiches & cake at 3 pm then then have another snack at 5 pm so he's not hungry when we have our tea at 6-7 pm. Then he has milk before bedtime. If he doesn't eat much in the evening and that does not interfere with his night sleep, I would try not to worry.

[mmagnano]

Dear Taygensmom: Thank you for your thoughtful remarks and questions!

If we end a meal early b/c of crying, I generally will re-try the same meal 30 min later if it is not too late in the evening (she may take 1 or 2 more bites only); however, if it is close to bedtime, then she simply goes to bed with only her pm bottle. I don't offer a snack or dessert if she has not had a decent meal b/c I do not want to encourage her fussiness or reward her for refusing dinner. Admittedly, she is a VERY LIGHT eater (always has been) and a very thin child (10th percentile for weight all her life); but even with so little food, she sleeps 12 hours every night (and has since she was 16 weeks old), so I can only assume that she is getting "enough".

Here is her schedule:
7am Wake, 4 oz formula
8:30am Breakfast - cheerios/banana, or 1/4 of a pancake or waffle
9-11am 4-6 oz formula, then Nap
12pm Lunch, offer fruit/veggie/poultry cubes (at school, she will eat 5-6 cubes + some table food; at home she may eat 1 cube + tiny amt of table food)
2pm-4pm 4 oz formula, then Nap
4:30pm small snack (+ 2-4 oz formula if at school)
6pm dinner - i.e. 2 chicken nuggets+2 fruit/veggie cubes+bread or pasta is offered; however eats 20% of this
7:30pm 4 oz formula, then Bedtime

She is currently drinking 15-20 oz of formula per day; I will switch to cows milk when she turns one (this weekend)! Looking at this schedule, I suspect that I should consolodate the formula/milk into fewer bottles (maybe just 3/day - wake, post-lunch, bedtime). Any other thoughts?

Her sleep schedule is definitely more routine and predictable than her eating schedule; thus she is a fantastic sleeper, but a marginal eater.

[taygensmom]

Glad she is such a fantastic eater. Does she like her milk/drink the 15-20 oz. without any issues, or do you have to push to get even that in her? IF she really likes and has no problems with her milk, then personally I would consolidate meals/drinking so that she gets milk during or right after meals. Doe she use a bottle or sippy right now?

[Claire Anne]

YES!!!
My DD eats fine for the childminder but somtimes I have an awful job getting food into her at home. I think it's partially because my DS eats TONS (he is 2 1/2 and can put away 3 weetabix no problem) and I have no real idea of what normal food intake is, and partially because she is just a light eater anyway.
I asked the childminder how she managed and she said she just distracted her with toys or something - so now if she is hard to feed I put a toy on the high chair. If distracted she'll open her mouth for the food unless she really doesn't want it. It can take a good half to three quarters of an hour to feed her sometimes. I also checked with the nurse at my local dr's office and she said some kids are just like that, and if I have to follow her around and give her a spoon of food when she is playing, then to do that. Whatever it takes to make sure she gets enough. But also to sit her at the table with a meal at the same time as everyone else to give her proper eating habits also. So I have stopped worrying as she is a good size and as long as she is healthy, I am just going to have to go with the flow in terms of her eating habits.
Not sure whether that will help any?!!! Good luck - it is worrying and frustrating when they don't eat properly.

[mmagnano]

She does enjoy her formula/milk - mostly through the bottle. I think I will try to consolidate into fewer bottle feedings per day, so that she is not snacking so much. Thanks!