27 months, sudden sleep problems, another on the way (2 weeks)

[ethan david's mommy]

I truly hope someone can give some insight/advice on what the heck is going on at my house lately!

Ethan is 27 months old and has always been a wonderful sleeper.  Until the last few days, that is.  Here's what a normal day would look like.

6:30 - 7:00 - wake up
7:30 - breakfast
10:00 snack
11:30 - 12:00 lunch
12:00 - 12:30 nap
2:30 - 3:00 wake up
3:30 - snack
5 -5:30 - supper
7:20 - 7:30 - bath, story, cuddle
8:00 - sleep

Well, the last week or so, the naptime has been an absolute struggle, some days it hasn't even happened since it would be 2:30 and he would still be awake,  and it has been taking him 1-2 hours to fall asleep at night.

We have always been careful to make sure that we never had any "crutches" as far as sleep went.  We always left the room before he was asleep so that he would do it on his own.  It was never a problem.  When I went back to work just before he was 1, he was with both sets of grandparents.  One would let him sleep on his own, the other would lie down with him.  That never bothered him at home though.

The only thing that has changed in the last 2 weeks is that I am now on maternity leave as our second is due in just under 2 weeks, so he has been home with me instead of his grandparents.  The first week was fine, but this week has been disastrous.  I just don;t know what to do.  I'm panicking because I don't know how I'm going to handle this with the new baby coming.  Is this just a phase?  Could it be something developmental?  Help!!!!!!

[Layla]

It could be a couple of things. Toddlers can go through a "no-napping" phase. I would think its more to do with the fact that you are home. Its almost as if he cannot believe it and doesn't want to lose time sleeping when he could be awake and be with his mummy. He might also be picking up on your excitement/anxiety over having a new baby & him not sleeping. It could also be that you've taken over what his granparents used to do and he's missing them as well.

All you can do really is put him down every day for a nap at 12ish and give him the opportunity to go to sleep. Even if he's not sleeping, at least he's having some quiet time. When he's tired he'll get there. You cannot make him sleep but you can provide the environment, so do your windown routine (make sure the last 30mins before nap time is nice and quiet), lay him down and leave. The rest is up to him. IF he hasn't napped though, I suggest a super early bedtime to avoid overtiredness, so I would do dinner at 5pm and to be in bed & asleep by 6.30pm (the latest). It might seem counterproductive but you really don't want him not sleeping all day long and then going to bed for the night at 8pm. He'll get overtired very soon & might start waking up at night or really early in the morning to start the day.

The thing is, his sleep will probably be "off" a little with the arrival of a new baby. He might get insecure and will fight naps and bedtime as well. I suggest you spend as much as you can with him as well as try and include him when you are with the baby (like ask him to give you the nappy when changing the baby, or reading a book to him while nursing the baby, etc... so that he doesn't feel like he's losing mummy). If he was a great sleeper, I suspect this will only last a few weeks and he'll get back into his old routine. This sounds like just a phase and it will pass.

hth
Layla

[*Natasha*]

Just wanted to add that Layla has given you some great advise i totally agree with everything she has said