Re: How do I teach DS to self soothe?

[newmama12]

I would like some help with paci weaning! My 3 month old dd is addicted to it. She cannot go to sleep without it. She wakes during naps and nighttime (often) because she realized it's not in her mouth anymore. Then it is a chore to get her back to sleep. It's awful at night and can take a very long time. I would like to wean her from it. What is a lovey? Is it one of those small security blankets? We've noticed she likes holding her burp cloths as well. She is trying to suck her thumb but doesn't have all the control yet. I'm glad though cause maybe it'll help in replacing the paci! Please help!! We're soooo tired and so is she!

[Layla]

Newmama12 - a lovey can be anything really. Blanket, maybe a fav toy or a piece of material. Have you had a look at the props forum? You would be doing shh/pat if you want to get rid of the dummy. Are you familiar with the BW techniques at all?

[newmama12]

I'm farely new to the BW techniques. I have been doing the sshh/pat for naps but she still has the pacifier. I didn't know to take it away. However, we've had experience where she hasn't had it and just screamed bloody murder. She's one that needs to suck but can't quite get her thumb yet. Should I wait till she can master the thumb? She sleeps on her tummy for naps and after I rock and calm her for a few minutes I lay her down in the crib. You see, she starts crying the minute we go into her room cause she knows it's nap time. It's so hard. Poor thing. After I lay her down, she's usually pretty drowsy and her eyes might be closed. I sshh/pat for awhile till she settles and stops moving. Could be 5, 10 or even 15 minutes till she settles...but she always has the pacifier.

No, I haven't looked that the props forum yet. I just joined today and am trying to soak in as much and as quickly as I can.

[Layla]

Not all babies need to suck to soothe/relax. I would be doing the shh/pat for naps & bedtime without the dummy & she will figure out how to soothe herself. Some babies rub their hair, ear, some suck on their lower lip, some scuk their blanket.... so in time she will learn. Its up to you though, you could either keep the paci & replug her until she can find her finger or until she can replug it herself or you could do it now. The props forum has lots of encouraging storied so when you get the chance, have a look. Sorry.... I should also say... WELCOME (a bit late  ).

You might also consider overtiredness. If she's crying as you get into the room, she might be up for too long. Is she on any kind of EASY/routine? How long is she up for? Have a look at the sample EASY routines as well https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10384.0 for 0-3mo's.

It might feel like she will never settle when you do shh/pat & if she's still crying say 30mins later, pick her up, give her & yourself a break & try again later when she's showing tired signs.

hth & let me know if you have any q's
Layla

[{{{Angela}}}]

We used the BW method on DS when he was about 3 months old.  Up until then, he would soothe himself to sleep by sucking on me! (breast or finger)  We would stick his thumb into his mouth and hold it there until the suction kept it in.  If he fell asleep and awoke later, fussing, we'd stick his thumb back into his mouth.  Hehehe.  It took him about 1-2 weeks to figure it out.  He's 3 years old now and still sucks his thumb for soothing.

It's up to you, really.  I'm totally okay with thumb-sucking and he doesn't do it all the time (just for sleep and when he's tired).