1. The first two nights of the program (we're currently on night 3), DD got up somewhere between 10-11pm all on her own. So I fed her and put her back with relatively little fuss. She woke up once more later in the night and went back down with PU/PD and slept until we woke her at 7am. I know it is suggested that I attempt a DF between 10-11pm - does it still count when she wakes up on her own? I am thinking it does.
I never managed a df without waking dd up, so took the stance that if she woke by herself I'd feed her, if she didn't wake, I'd leave it. Many people find that the df disturbs sleep, so if you've got this far without giving one, I wouldn't implement it. If she's awake feed her - sure it counts!
2. How will I know if she is going through a growth spurt, and therefore offer a 5pm cluster feed? Can I offer her a 5pm anyway to stave off the 10-11pm feed? Or will this result in her waking up later on in the wee hours of the morning for a feed? I have also wondered about giving her a 5pm just to make sure she is eating enough since I breastfeed and can never tell for sure how much she eats (it takes anywhere between 15-30 mins to feed her, I use both breasts, and she likes to fidget and play while she eats so we take up the full 30 mins to feed).
The most important thing with bw is not watching the clock, but your baby. You are setting up a predictable sequence of events, which most of the time fit into a nice 3 to 4 hour pattern, but not always. You spot a growth spurt as your dd will be showing hunger signs earlier than normal. If you see a hunger sign, always feed, never try and stave her off - it will usually just back fire and she'll be awake all night wanting to eat (in a growth spurt she may do that anyway...) she has to build up your supply, which she does by feeding more. Your dd can quite easily get a full feed in 15 minutes, at 4 mo she's probably quite efficient. If you offer a snack at 5, when she's not really hungry, you may find she then doesn't feed so well before bed - as she won't really be hungry again, meaning she'll probably wake up earlier than she would have done with a good feed before bed. It's all just probablys - there are always exceptions to the norm, but this is most likely.
3. How do I avoid getting the rock hard boobies full of milk come 7am? They hadn't been emptied in about 8.5 hours during the night....how to go about this? Will it resolve itself?
this will resolve itself as your body gets used to the new signals, it will start producing most milk at the times it's normally needed, and less when it doesn't. Boobies really are that clever