holds my hand to sleep / startle reflex / short napper

[laurapat17]

Hi,
I'm new to the boards and was looking for some answers after reading Tracy's first book.  My DD is almost 4 months old and we're having issues with napping.  Our schedule looks something like this:
7-wakes up
7:15 eats
7:30-9 activity
9-11 naps
11-eats
11:15 - 2 - activity
2-3 or so, naps
3-eats
3:15 - 5:30 - activity
5:30-6:15 naps
6:15-7 activity
7-eats
bedtime around 9
She will sometimes go longer between feeds, so everything moves back about 1/2 hr. to 45 min., and her last feed is about 8:15, 8:30. 
She used to fall asleep in my lap during the day, and would stay there for 2 hours!!!  In her crib it is a different story.  I am desperately trying to break that habit!
I have a few questions:
1. How can I extend her daytime naps?  She is ony sleeping about 9 hours at night.  I haven't been doing a dream feed for a while.  She goes down so easy at night.
2. Her startle reflex is so severe that it frequently wakes her up.  Any suggestions?
3. She likes to sleep holding my hand with hers, on her chest.  Very sweet, but tough habit to break!
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you! 

[laurapat17]

Sorry - I forgot to add that the 1st nap is in a swing (gasp).  We are getting rid of that, too. 
She is a very sensory baby, too, very spirited/touchy.
Also, we swaddle her legs, but not her arms, b/c she will put her fingers in her mouth
Thanks!!!

[Colin Macs Mom]

Hi Laura and welcome to BW!

The first thing I notice is that your routine needs some adjusting for sure. Bedtime is far too late and consequently the last A time is way too long for her age. My main suggestion to you would be to do something more like this -

7-wakes up
7:15 eats
7:30-9:30 activity
9:30-11 naps
11-eats
11:15 - 1:30 - activity
1:30-3 or so, naps
3-eats
3:15 - 5:30 - activity
5:30-6:15 naps
6:15-7 activity
7-eats
7:30 bedtime

Having a set bedtime and wake time is very important. I also adjusted things a little throughout the day to more evenly space A times - I suspect your DD is overtired.

You already know that the swing and sleeping in your lap are props that need to be eliminated, so check out the props board if you need any help there. 

1. She absolutely needs to be sleeping more than 9 hours at night. I assume you are still doing a night feed? Why did you stop the dreamfeed? Have you tried shhh/pat?

2. I think you should try the Aussie swaddle - it differs from a regular swaddle in that LO's hands end up under their chin so they can suck fingers if they want. Here's a link to instructions
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=55977.0

3. See this link... https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=2361.0

[laurapat17]

Thank you so much!  I really appreciate all your input.
I'm not doing a dream feed b/c I thought she really didn't need it.  Would it add to her total hours of sleep at night?  If I feed her 4-7oz. bottles a day, how many oz. would the dream feed be?  When do yopu faze out the dream feed?  Should I add it back to her schedule?
Ssh - pat usually ends up with my hand on her chest, but it does get her back to sleep when she needs to (the other night she woke at 3:30 a.m., for the first time ever). 
This week coming up is extremely busy, but the following 2 weeks I have absolutely nothing planned, so that I can focus urely on getting her naps on a better routine and her on a better schedule.  I am nervous b/c I return to work the first week in Sept. and she will be at a sitter for some of the time I am there.
Thanks for all your support!!!

[MJMom]

3. She likes to sleep holding my hand with hers, on her chest.  Very sweet, but tough habit to break!

My LO does the same thing.  I gently pull my hand away before LO falls asleep, but after her eyes are a little drowsy.

[skatty]

My LO had a very severe startle reflex so we bought a breathing moniter and started letting her sleep on her tummy. For us this was a very good decision, our problem was nights and she started to slep much longer when she was startling awake all the time. As for the hand holding we still do that when she has bad separation anxiety 

[Colin Macs Mom]

I'm not doing a dream feed b/c I thought she really didn't need it.  Would it add to her total hours of sleep at night?  If I feed her 4-7oz. bottles a day, how many oz. would the dream feed be?  When do you phase out the dream feed?  Should I add it back to her schedule?

It's not uncommon for a LO her age to still need a night feed, maybe even in addition to a DF. I'd consider adding it back in - you've got nothing to lose! It should be done between 10 and 11pm, and Tracy recommended ending it by 7.5 months. She believed it would interfere with sleep cycles and cause more wakings at that point. Plus at that age a LO should be ready to go without a night feed anyway. As for amount, it's hard to say... I'd offer a whole bottle and see how much she takes and go from there.

Ssh - pat usually ends up with my hand on her chest, but it does get her back to sleep when she needs to (the other night she woke at 3:30 a.m., for the first time ever). 
This week coming up is extremely busy, but the following 2 weeks I have absolutely nothing planned, so that I can focus urely on getting her naps on a better routine and her on a better schedule.  I am nervous b/c I return to work the first week in Sept. and she will be at a sitter for some of the time I am there.

Sounds like shh/pat is your way to go...     That's good that you have a chunk of time coming up where you can really devote yourself to the routine and naps. That will make a huge difference!!

[laurapat17]

Thanks to everyone, especially C;in Mac's Mom!  I guess I was thinking if she needed a dream feed, she'd let me know by waking up! 
Tonight I plan to have her in bed much, much earlier!  Right now she is napping, but waking up after her typical 40 min.! 
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to make the nap last longer?  I usually go back in and try ssh/pat, but it's not very effective for naps!

[Colin Macs Mom]

You might try wake to sleep about 10 min after she falls asleep, what do you think?

[laurapat17]

Can someone please send me the link about wake to sleep?  I'd like to read more about it.  Thanks!!!

[MJMom]

Here you go! 
Good luck!
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=64168.0