Do spirited babies EVER learn to sleep more?

[benandmichelle]

My lo is nearly 8 weeks and won't sleep in the afternoon at all. He is overtired the we get him to sleep for maybe 15 minutes then spend 1 hour or more doing sh pat and then he cries until we give up, pick him up and sit him in his chair and then he is satisfied and quiet for a while until feeding time.
It seems all OK until the evening (around 6pm) when all hell brweaks loose. He cries and cries, won't eat properly and it is a downhill spiral until we bath him and put him down because he is absolutely exhausted. He sleeps till 12 or 1ish then feeds then till either 5am or 6am.
My question is has anyone out there had spirited babies older that have NEVER developed uinto day sleepers or is it just too early and will it get better.
I just don't know wether to give up hope and accept the fact that itwill never happen or keep telling myself to be patient and it WILL improve.
We are doing all we can and with a winddown routine etc...

I NEED TO HEAR FROM MUM'S WITH SPIRITED BABIES OF ANY AGE....PLEASE!!!!

Thanks
Michelle

[October]

Hey Michelle,

I can definitely give you hope. BTW, you have great sleep from a spirited LO at 8 weeks. Our Bubba was nowhere near that kind of night sleep. He woke before midnight and again by 3am and was awake by 6am. He still wakes by 6am (but that's another story   )

Seriously, your LO sounds overtired if he won't sleep in the afternoon. Do you walk him in the stroller, sling or a Baby Bjorn ? If those don't work, try a drive. Never failed us at that age and is still pretty reliable at 10 mths !

I just wanted to ease your anxiety a little but if you post your routine maybe the mods. can help with some insight into what may be causing the pm problems. BTW, we too had issues 5-7pm with constant crying at that age. Seems to be one of the many phases.......

Good luck !
Deb

[skatty]

Wow reading your post bought the memories flooding back....things definitely have improved!! I had the opposite evening to you at that age, DD would stay up until midnight and then sleep through until 7/8ish. The thing with spirited babies is that they are almost impossible to get into a routine and yet they desperately need some sort of structure  Evening is a nightmare as they have been super alert all day and then just don't know how to switch off, my DD never napped and I wondered why pp said newborns just sleep and eat!

It was actually around 10 weeks I finally got a bit of a handle on it and watched for DD's tired signs much more closely, I started following a loose easy and realised if I put LO down for a nap at the first eye rub/yawn she wouldn't fight so hard. Babies here in Denmark nap outside and it was winter at the time and within 3 days I would only have her leg in her snowsuit and she'd be asleep! Can you introduce something you LO can associate with going to sleep?

As for now my DD is 10 months and goes to bed wonderfully, she loves her bedtime routine. We are currently having a problem with 1 NW per night but it is probably due to OT which spirited ones are prone to at all ages. Like Deb's LO Leorah is also a 6am riser but these little guys have so much to do, so much to see 

If I was to give any advice for your current situation it would be keep the afternoons as low key as poss, definitely use a sling, maybe rethink the bedtime bath if he is very tired, this can be stimulating for a spirited one at that age and get him to bed earlier.

Now on a positive note we are so lucky to have these spirited babies. I used to be so envious of mums that had babies that slept all the time and barely squeaked but now I am reaping the rewards with my cheeky monkey! She has so much character compared to some of her baby friends and is so alert and clever, a great problem solver, charmer, drama queen and has a fab sense of humour, all at 10 months! Everywhere I go she melts hearts by playing peek a boo from her pushchair which I have to have as upright as it goes and she still tries to stand up and turns around to look at everything, no lying down watching the clouds for my little diva lol!! So what I am trying to say is that spirited kids are hard work but you get so much back for it. I read in one book that some babies are born with such huge personalities that they don't know how to handle them, we just have to give it time for their systems to catch up. Try getting a better afternoon nap out of your DS by putting him in a sling and I am sure you will see improvement soon as he developes.

Big hugs to you and your LO and all the other free spirits and their tired mums 

[daniel'smom]

These moms have it right--Spirited babies are a LOT of work but totally worth it.

Moms who've never experienced a Spirited baby have no idea what we're talking about as they hold their sleeping children in a busy, bright room....while we struggle and struggle to get our babies to close their eyes in a dark, quiet, restful space!!! LOL!! 

My son was a huge challenge to sleep, and he gave up his naps VERY early (we did get him to sleep during the day at about 3 mos by using a controlled cry method), was down to 1 nap at less than a year and gave it up entirely at about 20 months. Now at 4 years, he almost never naps (only if we're going to be out late and only if he's convinced it would be to his benefit!! LOL  ) He does have "quiet time" every day where he plays by himself as long as he needs to --between 1 and 2.5 hours. This makes a HUGE difference to his demeanor and he will actually tell us "Oh, I am so ready for quiet time today. My body needs it" We've done quiet time from the time he quit taking naps.

We tore our hair out in those early days but now he is such a great little guy, so interesting and observant (I have learned a lot about tailpipes and ice cream trucks) and bright. I can't imagine having a child that I had to push to be interested in the world!

Hang in there--it does get better and better and better!

[benandmichelle]

All such fantastic advice from you all.

Many people have said that spirited babies are so worth the work and are actually LESS work later. (More independant and intelligent) Still...it is hard when you are sleep deprived and so involved in the situation and you see babies around that sleep 15 hours or more out of 24. I have been really anal about avoiding the kinderwagen 'crutch' too much in case of accidental parenting but why not just do it....anything for peace at the moment. 
Rachel it is funny you should write about the quiet time...today for the first time our LO just fussed and moved around quitetly and without crying immediatly. That is what made me think that maybe they just never sleep much and are OK with it at the time and the overtiredness comes later in the day. Also interesting to know that you gave up on day time naps.
The sling thing just hasn't worked for us till now. I am hoping that will change and he is just too young. Like so many other things that change every day...maybe tomorrow that too will magically work.

Thanks ladies....I was beginning to think everyone had texbook babies and I was alone in this.

Michelle

[Deb_in_oz]

it was right at that age that liv started sleeping a bit better when we cut her A time down to 45 min max before getting her down for naps.  the first 2- 3 mo or more it was insane in the afternoon and evenings.  she was so overtired (would be awake up to 5 hrs at atime in the day in the first 2months ) that she would sleep and wake on and off for hours - just when we thought she was asleep and we could eat dinner (like at 9pm) she would wake right up again - this would go on and off until 11 or so (from 6/7pm).

it did slowly improve between 7-12 weeks old and then got better and better until she finally went to 1 nap between 10-11 mo (early i know but more common for spiriteds than textbooks...) and everythign was smooth after that. napped 2-3 hrs for the 1 nap and slept later in the morning.

there is a LONG support thread for spirited moms in the birth club area - you will find a lot of answers and comraderie there as we have all been where you are now.

lots of hugs for the rough times. there are so many funny times when they become toddlers though