Bedtime nightmare for my 23 month old

[lisaandjamie]

My son up until 3 weeks ago went down to bed around 7.30pm and fell asleep independantly.  Now its a different story, he has a massive tantrum at bedtime, screaming and worst of all banging his head on anything he can.  What can I do, i am trying WI/WO but it is too much to take when he is banging his head and I just end up taking him out of his room. He calms down straight away when i do this.

His routine is:

630 wake
12.30 nap wake at 2/2.30pm
start wind down at 7.30pm bedtime at 8pm but usually asleep at 9.30pm .

Any advice at all would help x

[brightside]

He sounds like he could be overtired. Could you perhaps start wind down a little earlier and then asleep by 7.30? If he is waking at 6.30 and only going to bed at 9.30 he definitely isn't getting enough night sleep.

I can imagine how traumatic it is to see him banging his head in a tantrum but if you keep picking him up and taking him out of the room he will learn that that is what he needs to do to get what he wants-kwim? I would be tempted to keep up with the wi/wo consistently or if that's too hard, stay in the room and say soothing words but don't pick him up.

[Layla]

I agree with Cath ... do nap & bedtime earlier for a few days to let him catch up on sleep (12nap). Start your windown a little earlier so he is in bed by 7pm already & hopefully falls asleep by 7.30. If you are doing wi/wo for an hour & then cave in & take him out... its kinda of a waste of time & tears. My dd did some head budding (during the day though) when she was frustrated so he is probably too wired up to fall asleep. Stay in the room with him, try to calm him in the cot.

Has anything recently happened? A change in his life? Could he be teething & in pain?

Layla

[lisaandjamie]

Hi. Nothing has changed in his life, he could be teething, sometimes i think he gets frustrated because he can't say many words yet.

Last night was awful he is in a big bed and was raming the bedroom door with his full body. I tried to put him to bed at 7pm but again ended up taking him downstairs at 8.30pm, I just need to find the strength to see it through.  He also wakes up through the night and I take him down stairs, I started this because the neighbour works earlys and I don't want to disturb him, but now sometimes I am downstair for 3 hours, I am exhausted.

[Layla]

You need to stop taking him downstairs... thats a pretty good incentive on its own for toddlers to wake at night. Its like in our case Isabella was allowed to watch some Baby Einstein 1st thing in the morning (while I had the chance to get myself together) but then I noticed her waking really early (& she is already an early riser - 6am) & saying "baby einstein".... I was thinking..."is this girl for real... its only 5 in the morning"!!! But yeah, she was for real & not until I stopped the BE videos did our mornings got back to 6am. She can play with her toys all she wants in the morning but BE is kinda of a "special" thing - emergency only type of thing I do - which made her want to get up & watch it...

Anyhow, long story short... you need to try & do all the comforting in the cot... boring scene... nothing stimulating such as out of the cot & downstairs. Its night time & he needs to be taught that night time is for SLEEP!!!

Could you talk to the neighbour about whats going on? I mean at the end of the day the neighbour is getting rest for the next day & work.. but you have a job as well .... you need to be just as rested as your neighbour is for your sanity & your son. Your sleep & more importantly your son's rest is just as important. The neighbour might miss out of some sleep when you are sleep training but whats 2 weeks??? Not much really... you'll have to tackle this SOME day & unless you are planning to move out, or the neighbour is moving out... something has to give. Your neighbour will find a way to block the noise - he can get a fan or white noise machine or some ear plugs!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! You just need to work out a plan, write things down (I am all for writing things down) & STICK TO IT!!!!

Let me know how you go

[lisaandjamie]

Thanks so much for the advice I will give it a go!

[brightside]

I would definitely stick with it. wi/wo was the best thing we did for both DS and us. He still wakes in the night but we rarely have to go to him and he just whinges a bit and then goes back to sleep. It is definitely worth the effort.

I'm also wondering why he is in a big bed? Is this a new thing? I'm just wondering if he is a bit young and if possible it might be worth putting him back in a cot until you have him sleep trained?

[lisaandjamie]

yes i was thinking about putting him back in the cot, i took him out because he is so tall and i thought may a bit to big for the cot plus he was really babging his head on it. I am starting sleep training tonight. wish me luck

[Layla]

Good luck! We'll be here for support