Crying at nap/bedtime- SA?

[*Kimberly*]

My little one is 18 months old.  He has always been a pretty good sleeper- I can usually pinpoint the reason for any problems we have and resolve them quickly.  Not this time though.   

About a week ago he woke up at about midnight screaming.  He has done this occasionally when he gets out of bed (a big boy bed) and can't get back in.  Usually I put him back in bed and he goes back to sleep.  This time, however, he quieted when I put him in bed but started crying again when I turned to leave.  I tried staying with him for a little bit and he was quiet but started crying again as soon as I went to leave and wasn't falling asleep.  Finally I left and he cried then quieted down after about a minute.  About an hour later, probably 5 minutes after I fell asleep, he was screaming again.  I let him be and he quieted down within a minute and slept fine the rest of the night.  This happened again last night- at 4:30am.  Again I tried staying with him and that didn't work.  So, I left and again after some crying he went back to sleep.

Also, the past week or so he has been screaming/crying when I put him down for his naps and at bedtime.  I will do a little bit of wi/wo and put him back in bed once or twice.  Most of the time I let him cry and it lasts for less than a minute and then he is quiet.

I have tried to think back and see if something happened to cause these changes but I cannot think of anything.  I don't think it is the big boy bed because he has been in it for almost 2 months now.  He had some late nights last week but they came after the first incident.  I don't think he is sick.  His eating seems normal, well as normal as can be for a toddler.  I just don't know the *why*.   

Another thing I have noticed- which leads me to think it might be SA- is that he used to play independently for long periods of time but lately he kinda whimpers when I leave the room or stop playing with him.  Some times it turns into outright crying and some times he moves on and plays independently.  I know that at this age independent play is quite infrequent and short but this is unusual behavior for my lo.

My main concern is the screaming/crying at nap/bedtime and also in the middle of the night.  Why is it happening?  What can I do?  Am I handling it wrong now?   

Thanks.   

[KathrynK]

Hi Kimberley
there's a few of us here with lo's having the exact same problems the last couple months. It seems a really common thing at this age; seems they have one last bout of SA around 18 months and that can spark off some sleep issues. In fact it seems so common there's even a sticky on 19mo with sleep issues on the board! here's the link to that one:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=81790.0

We seem to be coming out the other side now- for us it's been about 3 weeks. The first week or so was awful, she would scream and get hysterical when I tried to put her in her bed, then again when I tried to leave the room at nap/ bedtime and I had to stay in the room while she fell asleep which I've never ever done before. After about a week I started to leave the room again and she would try to stop me leaving and cry for a minute but then relax and play as normal before falling asleep. I found it hard to get my head round when she was genuinely upset and needed me, and when she was just "playing" me, iykwim.
Once I had worked out it was just a normal phase rather than anything I had caused I decided just to ride it out. I didn't make any changes to her routine, I was super- consistent, making sure we were always home in plenty time for naps and bedtime routine, and even putting her down a bit early as the last thing I wanted was for her to get overtired too. The weird thing is she's only been like this with me; when daddy or either of her two grandmothers has put her to bed she's been an angel. Definitely seems there's some SA going on.
hope this reassures a little. xxx

[*Kimberly*]

Thanks for the advice and the link.  I really hope it is just a faze, especially since it came out of nowhere, and I especially hope it only lasts for 3 weeks- two more weeks...

I agree that it is so hard to determine if the cries are *real* or not.  When he wakes in the middle of the night he screams bloody murder and that is why I keep staying with him at first even though it doesn't seem to help. 

My lo is the same with hubby or me.  Yesterday hubby put him down for his nap and he said things were worse.  He cried for upwards of ten minutes. 

He seems to do worse on the days when we are home all day so I am trying to take him out in the mornings more often.  We haven't been able to do much with it being so hot (Arizona) and gas prices so high but both are coming down now so we are able to go out a little more.

[*Kimberly*]

Update...the majority of the SA stuff during the day seems to be gone.  But...he is still waking up screaming from his naps and in the morning.  Is that SA or something else?