too much crying

[mumofiz]

Hello,

I've just started the challenge of getting my 3 1/2 month daughter to sleep in her cot for daytime naps, without my AP prop, previously I jiggled and walked her to sleep and put her down in her chair. Naps never lasted more than 40mins and sometimes as little as 10. Nights, however, have always been quite good - usually asleep by 7, DF 10.30, wakes for feed 3.30/4.30, awake 7.15ish. Having read the 3-4month PU/PD in BW I decided to start with that, then found this site and was advised on the PU/PD board to try shh/pat as she is under 4 months, as a result I've had one day of PU/PD and 1 day of shh/pat - both have been horrendous with my LO crying (full on red faced, tears streaming, air gulping sobbing)  for entire 45min cycles and maybe dropping off from sheer exhaustion at the end of the 2nd cycle. Then sleeping for 30-40mins. I am working on OT and OS as I think she's both and have read loads of good stuff on both, as well as W2S, on the site so feel ok about trying to tackle those. However our good nights have been totally messed - the first night she woke at 2.15, took a full feed, then 5.30 was fully awake for the day - last night she woke at 2.30, full feed, then again at 4 and it took me til 6.30 to get her to sleep again, 1 hour of sleep. Am feeling really discouraged not only by the horrendous amount of crying in the day but also because she now has very messed up nights. We're going away from Tuesday next week so am thinking of giving up til we get back and I have a clear run of time to work on this but would really appreciate some advice/reassurance on the crying andv the messed up nights to help me get back on track.

Thankyou in advance

[~*~Little Miss Sunshine~*~]

If I were you, I'd wait until you get back from where ever you are going...otherwise you might just end up doing the same thing all over again.  Crying is normal when you are trying to get your lo to learn to self-soothe.  My ds was a BEAR to try to teach as he would cry sometimes for 1.5 hours before he would finally fall asleep (this was at bedtime), but I was persistant with the shh/pat and after a week or so (with less crying each time) he was much easier to put down.  He is still really good at going down, aside from the occassional blip that happens when he is OT. 

It is going to take a bit of time to work out a good routine for your lo and to have her body adjust to it.  Just be consistent.  That's the key.  It will certainly take more than one day to get your dd to self-soothe, but it is well worth it!

[mombegood]

I feel for you. I went through a similar situation. When my lo was three months we were trying to extend her routine to a four hour schedule as she'd turned into a cat-napper and snacker. She also stopped sleeping well through the night. What worked for us was using Tracy's method where you follow the routine exactly for a while (it's been a while so I don't remember exactly how long you have to follow it exactly). It was HARD! She really struggled with the change and cried. I was exhausted and so was she. There will be times when your lo is screaming when you;ll think, "this can't be right." Just stick it out. You have to be really patient and consistent so your lo will adjust to the change. Stopping and trying something else will just restart the whole cycle. It will be hard for a couple of weeks, but it is worth it. She now is sleeping well and is so much happier. So am I.