10 week old baby won't sleep during day

[arabesque]

Please help!!!

My boy Toby will be ten weeks in 2 days and just refuses to sleep during the day! He used to have a dummy which became a sleep prop and he would wake after 45mins, but by the time we could put it back in it was too late and he was fully awake.

At 8weeks we got rid of the dummy so he hasn't had it for nearly two weeks. His sleep got a lot worse (20mins!) and then equivalent (back to 45mins). But he can't drop into a second sleep cycle despite the fact that he wakes tired and then tries to sleep during his breastfeed.

Today has been a shocker and I'm at my wits end. It is 4:30pm and since 7am this morning he has had 2 x 45min sleeps, and cried through his third. Patting/shushing etc doesn't work for him as when I'm in the room he just wants me to get him out of his cot and therefore cries more. He had got to the stage where he would grizzle for less than 5mins and put himself to sleep. He sleeps really well at night, but during the day he is just revolting.

Here is what I try to do each day:

7am feed, play, sleep 8:15

10am feed, play, sleep 11:30

1pm feed, play, sleep 2:30

4pm feed, play, sleep 5:30

6:30 bath, massage, 7pm feed, bed

dreamfeed 10:30, Toby wakes around 3 for a feed, then up at 7am

Please help me! I thought getting rid of the dummy would help him to resettle but things are just going rapidly downhill...1 1/2 hours sleep in 9 hours! I'm tearing out my hair!

Thanks Bec

[deckchariot]

I'm so sorry to hear about the nigtmarish naps (or rather lack thereof!).  My dd went through the same thing.  A couple of thoughts - it may be just developmental, which doesn't really help, except to say that it will get better.  Here's a couple things I tried:

when I couldn't extend dd's naps with pat/shh, I'd try for 40 min, take a 10 min break (usually just rocking with her quietly) and try again (unless it was time for the next feed), then I'd feed her, and only keep her up for 30 min after she finished bfing, and then back to nap again.

I also started pu/pd at 3 mos, and dh had good success with that (I never could get it quite right).  I did have some success with w2s - if you lo always wakes right at 45 min, try going in at 40 min and lightly jostling him (I'd tug her leg usually), that would work about half the time for me.  the other times, I'd have to do pu/pd which usually meant no nap extension.

The biggest thing that helped me was having other bw moms to encourage me.  Nap extension sucks, but it does get better.  Abby is now almost 6 months, and her naps have gotten better and better.  I'd say the worst of it was months 3-4.  I know that seems like an eternity, but it really isn't.  I'd just bring a book or something with me into her room while doing w2s, and if I got frustrated with pu/pd, I'd give myself a "time out" and take a break, then come back to it. 

Looking back, I think it would have been easier if I wasn't so uptight about it, though I don't know how I would have stayed calm, since I think I actually did tear out my hair!!!!

Hang in there Bec.

[debo620]

I just want to agree with what deckchariot said:

these naps are developmental
if you are not able to extend past the 40min mark then definately feed him a bit early--maybe by 15min or something, quick diaper change as only activity and then back to sleep. so you may fit 5 x45min naps in a day, but this will help with overtirednesss.

I also used pupd to extend naps at about the ae of 13 weeks, it really is recommended for babies of 4months and older. so keep this in mind, as the process does burn alot of calories and involves a lot of crying (although you are there with them).

HTH