Shh/Pat hell

[Karel]

Is anyone out there?  We've been using the BW techniques for about 2 months now andwe have accomplished great naps.  My LO is on perfect 3.5 hr EASY all day but nights are not any better than when we started.  I've been doing ssh/pat for over 2 weeks now and it has only worked 1 X (the first night) after 1 hour.  It's now been 2 hrs and he just seems to be OT.  In all honesty, I don't feel anything is working.  The forst hour of ssh/pat is playing and the second hour is screaming.  I can only have my ear scraed in for so long and have my back aching frm lying over his crib for so long!!  Evberyone who has tried to help keeps telling me it WILL work but when wil I see any results?  I've finally left his room because I can't stant it any longer!!  Is there any help for me

Karel

[LauraRose]

My son never did well with the shh/pat thing.  He was just too entertained by my presence.  I found that letting him cry for a while was the only way he'd go back to sleep, and eventually he stopped waking at night.  He still wakes super early in the morning though.  Maybe the shh/pat is just keeping your LO awake? Best of luck.
-Laura

[Zoey]

Hi, big hugs for you - I'm sorry you're having a hard time. 

How about you post your routine so we can take a look, sometimes the answer lies there.  Also the age of your child.

Also if you could tell us how you are doing pat/shh that would be helpful.

Pat/shh can be modified to suit your baby, some like patting some like rubbing, some like just you speaking softly or shhing.  You have to find what your baby likes.

Zoey

PS good for you for leaving the room when you felt like you'd had enough.  Its difficult to help your baby sleep I understand.  Taking a break is always a good idea, then go back in when you feel you can handle the situation again.  HUGS.

[momofclaire]

Karel, How are you doing?
Myia

[Karel]

Ok, here's his routine

Awake and E 7am
A 7:15-8:30
S8:30-10:00

E 10:30
A 10:45-12:00
S 12:00-1:30 or 2 (especially if up a lot last night)

E 2:00
A 2:15- 3:30 or 4
S around 3:45

E 4:30 + rice cereal started last week
A including bath time
S 7pm

This is the usual routine.  Sometimes we have trouble having the evening nap and it only lasts 20 mins or so, as long as he's up by 4:30 or 4:45 at the latest.  My LO is 5.5 months old and is BF, except for his DF @ 10:15 (he wakes if we wait any longer).  The night time usually goes something like this- wakes at 1:30 - goes down easily (usually paci).  Wakes at 2:30, more awake and doesn't go back down.  Shh/pat until 3:30 or 4 at  which point I usually feed him out of desperation (he is hungry though).  Sometimes he goes back to sleep after eating, sometime not.  The 'not' times are the worse and his crying continues to escalate and he's up until 4:30 or sometime 5 and ends up crying and falling asleep out of exhaustion.  By the 4 am time, nothing settles him, even picking him up.  This is the time I feel most desperate and I swear the next night were going to start Ferberizing him!! He's crying himself to sleep anyways!  I just don't feel like I'm getting results, except for the naps during the day.   I'm feeling so out of control!!!

Thanks for your help,
Karel

[EllenS]

If he's waking after an hour, that would indicate to me he is waking from hunger at 1:30-2:30.  Have you read the BF boards?  Some BF babies are not able to go without a night feed until they are older.

Can he do any 4 hour intervals during the day?  My lo could not do 4 hour intervals all day till she was older, but we started around that age having at least one in the AM.  This may help increase the amount of hindmilk=more calories.

[Karel]

He has gone 4 hrs if I'm running around and doesn't seem to have much problem.  He doesn't cry to eat during the day, only once he's seen coming at him!  I don't know if  it's hunger at 1:30 because i do do the DF at 10:30.  If I did feed him at 1:30, would I also be feeding him at 4:30 too?  That's 2x's per night at 5.5 months? 

Any other ideas??

[momofclaire]

Just because you feed at 1:30 doesn't mean you would have to feed at 4:30.  There are babies that need a night feed at his age but I tend to believe that most can go without. Have you attempted to drop the df? There are some babies that don't do well with it. 

I also think your routine might need a little adjustment.  At 5.5 months he can probably handle a little more than 1.5 hours of A time in the morning. Do you think a routine like this would work?

7:00 wake and eat
9:00 nap (1.5-2hours)
11:00 eat
1:00 nap (1.5-2 hours)
3:00 eat
5:00 cat nap (30 min)
5:30 eat
7:00 eat and bedtime

What are your thoughts?

[Karel]

Willing to try anything.  If he seems tired in am, do I just ignore it and continue playing?  I should probably start with extending 15 mins first , right, not the whole 1/2 hr? 

I'll give it a try tomorrow.

Karel

[Zoey]

Hi

I would extended by 5m every other day to avoid overtiredness.  Slowly extended A times, is best in my experience.  I would try to offer him as much as he will take through the day, I agree with the previous poster re: night feedings and the DF.

Good Luck!

[momofclaire]

I agree with Zoey.  Extend the A time very slowly.