HELP!! 18 month old sleeping has gone bonkers!!

[Silas Mum]

DS is 18 months and for the last 5 months, until 4 days ago, had a 20 minute cat nap in the am and a 2 hour pm nap and slept 730-700am.  He got a mild cold at the pool, but seems to be over that.  He has been drooling, but I don't know if that's from maybe the 2 year molars or what?  Note : he has all his other teeth.  I took him to the Dr. today to rule out the teeth and the ears and they are a-ok.  He has done one naps before when we're out and about so the past 4 days I have done one nap since he refuses to take a morning cat nap and they have been 2.50 hours, 1.5 hours & 2 hours. 

Here's the thing.  He is screaming bloody murder when going down for naps and night sleep.  He is fine the rest of the day, but it's when the light goes out he freaks.  We have a night light now, but that doesn't seem to help.  The last 3 nights he' been screaming from 715-930/945pm,when he proceeds to crash.  We've done the back to him, laying on the floor, talking and repeating the same thing over and over, "you're just going to sleep, you're OK, Mummy is here, you're just going to sleep."  The past 5 months, he never puts up a fuss going to sleep, he's been an angel that way.  We are at the end of our rope and have resorted to letting him CIO tonight, b/c it's really just making him scream harder (I can't believe that this is even possible!) when we are in the room. 

Is this a developmental thing or what??!!  What the heck do we do??!!  Do I stay in the room no matter what?  Is this manipulation??!!

Thanks so much!!!!
Allison

[Layla]

Allison, he could be going through separation anxiety. Does he seem more clingy during the day at all? Can you tell me what his daytime routine looks like?

Please don't let him cio - I am sure there is a reason he is screaming/crying before bedtime... there are much gentle ways to help him out.

[Silas Mum]

Yah, I was thinking of SA, as Sami suggested that too, but he's never been a clingy boy and he's not showing clinginess the last 4 days either.  He was very happy to go to nursery today for 1.5 hours and didn't really want to come back to me.

Before Sunday his routine was the exact same for 5 months :

715am wake up
730am - breakfast
1015am - 20 minute nap
1045am - snack
1200pm - lunch
130pm - nap
330pm - wake from nap
345pm -snack
515pm - supper
630pm - bath
700pm - books
715pm - 730pm - asleep and very few nw'ings.

I don't want to let him CIO as we really haven't done that before, but like I said, he screams harder when we are in the room. 

Is 18 months old a time where screwy things start to happen?? 

Thanks!

[Layla]

Now that you are down to 1 nap, what time have you been offering the afternoon nap? If its 1.30pm still then I think he is screaming for overtiredness. I think you should bring the nap time forward to 12.30pm (the latest) to see if he will settle better

[Silas Mum]

yah, tried bringing the nap foward, as he was signing "sleep" at 1100am, but when I tried to put him down, it was massive screaming.  Got him to eat some more, calm down and tried again.  Wouldn't go down until 115pm.  On the days, when all was normal, when we'd do one nap when we had to, he'd be down at 1215pm, at the latest.

[Layla]

Sorry I couldn't reply back straight away... had an emergency situation at home (Isabella wacked Jasmine again so we all went out for some fresh air)

I found a post - similar to yours... I think its SA more than manipulation https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=100671.0;all

Keep trying for the nap no later than 12.30pm.. you might have to do a longer windown routine to get him nice & sleepy for nap time.

If you are finding that staying in the room causes more stress to him then you could try wi/wo method instead.

Hang in there - 18 months does seem to be tough on alot.... it will pass

Layla

[KathrynK]

Allison that's my post Layla found as a link for you (Layla love you  )

Sophie has always been the best independent sleeper but at 19 mo for no particular reason she started screaming and sobbing when I put her to bed at night and naptime. I had no idea why, she showed no signs of SA in the day either. I did lots of reading up, especially on the boards, and it seems it's just another one of those lovely phases they go through. There were about 4 of us in the same situation at the same time.
I decided to try some gradual withdrawal and it made a huge difference. One day at nap time as I was taking her up the stairs I told her that mummy would stay with her while she fell asleep and you knwo what? No tears or tempers while I changed her, put her in the sleeping bag and lay her in the cot; she was so calm and went right to sleep. So I guessed that reassurance was what she needed. I stayed in the room while she fell asleep for about a week, and then she would let me leave again. There were some nights/ days still that she would cry for me; I found it so hard to work out when it was genuine and when she was just playing me up.
It took about a month before things were totally back to normal. I still can't work out why she was only like it with me; she went to sleep like a charm for dh or mil.
hope this helps reassure a little
hang on in there xxxx

[samsam]

Hi there,

I just wanted to say I am in the same situation and am at a bit of a loss too.

DD is 18 months old.

Refuse to try CIO as never have and don't want to break trust. DD has been a great independent sleeper since about 5 months when i started BW routines, but just this week she has started crying as soon as I put her into her cot. She then reaches up saying 'Mummy, cuddle' which breaks my heart! She has never 'played us up' and i don't believe she is doing this now - she is genuinely upset. PU/PD seems hopeless and don't want to start cuddling to sleep, as past experience tells me this is not a good habit to get into 

Tonight I just told her I was going to sit in the chair next to her, so not to worry. I did this and was then able to leave the room just before she fell asleep. I don't mind doing this, if it helps her, but just looking for a bit of reassurance that by doing this I am not 'accidental parenting' and that this phase will end !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Worried I am accidental parenting....

No signs of SA in day, so don't know why happening.

Any advice would be gratefully received. Good luck to other mums on this board with this problem!

[KathrynK]

I don't thin kyou would be risking AP by staying with her if that's what she genuinely needs. I did it every night for about a week before dd would let me leave the room. She too was all "mummy cuddle" the minute I put her down, still is some days but things got back to normal after a few weeks. I just think you need to ride it out, unfortunately.

[brightside]

I swear this is a developmental thing. I had the same problems around 18 months and many others seemed to aswell. We just had to ride the storm and ended up doing a bit of AP too  Eventually we ended up doing WI/WO and sleep has been fantastic since.

[samsam]

Thank you very much for the reassurance/advice  . Things seemed a little better tonight (shorter peiod of sitting needed), so going to keep on with it. Thanks again.