Very upset short napper

[Shine]

Okay I am really struggling.  DS is a really bad napper.  He sleeps fine at night and can just be put down and left alone, but the day is a whole different story.  I am feeding him every 3 hours, but not at set times, as it depends when he wakes in the morning (thats another problem as he cant quite do 12 hours at night, only 11, so our routine shifts approx a 1 hr each day).

His awake time is about 1hr to 1.5hr including feeding. He is bottle fed and has reflux.

He can not settle himself to sleep in the day, he requires cuddle and dummy. He wakes at either 20 ir 40 mins and then just screams and is completely unconsolable.  I would not mind if he was a happy 40 min napper and I had to do EASASY, but he is not happy and spends most of the day crying.  I just cant not seem to either get a second nap in or extend his naps. 

What do I do?

Thanks

[MJMom]

How old is your DS?

[Shine]

Can you tell I'm stessed?!!

sorry ds is 9 weeks.

[MJMom]

1 - 1.5 hrs may be a bit much for him to handle.  My DD could only handle about 45 minutes at that age, and that A time includes feeding.  He is likely over tired.  Especially if he is only asleep for 20 minutes.

The dummy is fine at his age as well as he has the sucking reflex still.  I wouldn't worry about it unless he is waking himself up when it falls out of his mouth.

What does his routine look like these days?  I noticed you posted one on 9/4, but a lot can change in 3 weeks at his age!

[Shine]

Okay our routine!!!

Wakes in the morning, anywhere from 6am to 8am and happy.  Ususally not hungry immediately as has had a night feed.

E - about 1/2 hr after waking
A - watch Mum run round house before we take dd out (so she does not destroy house - she's 2!!)
S - Ssh pat to sleep with dummy in house or car or pram, usually goes off okay
A - 20, but usually 40 mins awake and crying and crying...
S - Unconsolable for min 1 hr before off for another 40 mins, this time he can not be put down or cries until next feed
Y - There is none that is the problem
E - This occurs every 3 - 4 hours depending if he is crying or asleep.  I actually think he is happy enough to go 4 hours between feeds its just the fact he is upset he has a bottle at 3 hours.

No bedtime routine - only gets bathed every few days due to ecezma.

Bedtime - E then cuddled to S.
E - usually goes 6 hours but has done longer, then  3/4 hours until next feed.

He is not DF as this makes his reflux worse, but I not bothered by no df.

Make sense??

[Shine]

Should say, I have tried holding his arms firm, ssh pat, giving dummy at the 40 min mark, but he just wakes and cries.

[MJMom]

How long is he awake before you try to put him down?  The first time?

[Shine]

Anywhere from 45 min to 1.5 hours, depending on tired signs.

[MJMom]

He is 9 weeks old?  I would be surprised that he could go 1.5 hr.  At least not more than once. 

Also, for your reality check (and for your sanity) many children are not good nappers at 9 weeks.  And it's certainly very hit or miss.  The first sleep to develop consistently is night time sleep, then the morning nap, and then the after noon nap.  He could be as old as 6-7 months before the naps are something you can count on consistently.  That being said, it's still important now to set the stage for when those naps do start developing.

The 20 minute nap is indicative of him jolting himself awake.  Have you tried holding him arms before he actually wakes up?  I.e. going in a few minutes earlier, placing your hands on him before he wakes up?

[Shine]

Sorry for not replying sooner, but I have been having difficulty accessing this site - seems to be going like clockwork

When do they "typically" start to do there naps well?

I have tried shorter awake times but he just doesnt seem tired, but I'll give it another go.

I have been holding his arms down and reinserting the dummy and they sometimes work, just not very often.  I think the problem is that I do not get there at just the right time because of dd.  It is soooo much harder with a toddler to look after, but it is therefore more important to get his naps sorted.

Any other tips?

Ta

[MJMom]

I can only imagine it would be hard with a toddler.  I remember thinking how on earth could you do this with more than one child when my DD was that age.  If you could have a friend or DH assist for a couple of days to consistently get to your DS before he hits those waking points, that would be helpful.  Particularly to help him get past the 10 minute/20 minute jolts.  You may not consistently get naps over 45 minutes but at least you would get 45 minute naps.  According to Sleeping Baby, Happy Baby (I think, it's the Dr. Weissbluth book)  you can expect the night time sleep to develop first between 2-3 months, the morning nap to develop at 3 months and the afternoon nap at 4 months.  And when I say develop, I mean to be able to consistently count on them.  I was able to get more success earlier, but I feel that it was due to the sleep training we did when DD was 9 - 10 weeks old. 

Any chance you can get a friend or DH to assist?

[marcimommy]

It looks to me that he's either OT or in pain (hence the crying) Can he possibly have reflux or gas? He might have pain when he is layed flat and that prevents him from getting good naps. Is he pulling his knees up? Does he seem to be in pain? Try to smell his breath, if it smells very sour (acidic) than he might have reflux. My LO was very gassy and refluxy at that age and that caused us a lot of napping issues. I have some advice if you think he could struggle because of that. HTH

[Shine]

Yep, I think reflux/ burping is an issue, as if I pick him up at 40 mins I often get  burp.  He is on Losec for the reflux and Anti reflux formula which have really helped his nighttime sleep.

Please let me know what you did.

[marcimommy]

so it seems to me that he has trapped gas. Do you always get a burp after feeding? It is really hard to burp LO's at this age and can take forever, but it's very essential to do it. It will get better around 3-4 months old so hang in there  I used to have to change back and forth between all 3 positions to get a burp. Sometimes it helps to turn the baby "upside-down" a little. support the head with one hand and lower the head so the head is lower than the rest of the body just for like 5 seconds. that can help to loosen up the bubble and it comes out easier after that. the key is to be consistant. Also if he is a spitter than spitting up doesn't equal a burp. You still have to get out the bubble! I used to burp DS before the naps too and just randomly several times during his A time. Now that I think back it seems I used to burp him all freakin' day long LOL It also helps to lay them flat for a couple minutes and than burp again. Mylicon helped me a lot with gas too. (the active ingredient is called symenthicone) I used to give it before every feeding. It is absolutely safe and have no sideeffects.
For reflux the medication helped us the most. I don't know Losec. We used Zantac but it din't work well so we switched to Prilosec and that changed our lives almost immidiately. Of course it is the most expensive reflux medication out there, it has to be compunded in specialty phramacies.  Around 5 months old DS got better and we switched back to Zantac and it was all good. Just recently we stopped all reflux medicationand and  fine! so if you feel that reflux is still a problem you might want to consult your ped about swithcing the medication. (but it seems to me that your problem is rather gas) You can try to elevate the head side of the mattress by putting some books under the mattress. It only works until he gets mobile though because after that he will be rolling all over the place and can actually end up head-down LOL  Make sure to keep your LO upright for about 30 min after each feeding. A lot of people think that sitting the baby in a car seat is good but it actually makes reflux worse as the belly is pushed by the legs. Putting the baby in the bouncer is good as the legs are straight and it keeps them in a 30-45 degree angle. Well that's all I can think of right now. Keep us updated! HTH