22 MO waking up hysterical!

[Sleepless in UK]

We really need some help with our DS. He's starting waking most nights roughly between 3.30am - 5am.  If we go into him he's stood in his cot with his arms reaching out to us but if we pick him up he just points at the door as if he wants to go downstairs.  If we try and lay him back in his cot he just freaks out but won't sit on our laps and be cuddled either.  A few nights ago we left him to cry and he settled himself within about 15 mins and slept until 8am which was great!  The following 2 nights we didn't hear a peep out of him apart from the odd cough and he slept for 11.5 hrs both nights but then last night he woke at 3.45am so i went in to offer him water which he didn't want and then seemed to become more and more agitated (i think because i had properly woke him up).  Should i have left him to resettle himself? I tried to settle him but without success and then after about 10 mins of screaming he went back to sleep but then woke up every 15 mins until we heard a huge crash and he'd actually climbed out of his cot!!  We then had to go in (by this time it was 4.45) and ended up taking him downstairs where he had a bottle of milk which settled him and i eventually got him back to sleep in his cot about about 5.30.  He then slept until 8.30am. 

We really don't understand why he's suddenly started doing this.  Before if he woke up he either settled himself or if we did go into him he would quickly lie back down and would go back to sleep quite easily but just lately he's become a nightmare to settle.

Do you think we need to switch to a bed?  We do put him in a sleeping bag in his cot but last night he took that off himself to climb out of the cot!!!

[SylvieA]

We have the same thing happening here on and off. Can't wait to here from others.

[Layla]

Can you tell me what his daytime schedule looks like?

[Sleepless in UK]

Ok this is his "usual" daytime routine:

7am wakes 6oz milk
8.30am or 9am breakfast - weetabix & fruit or toast
11.30am lunch - hot meal (jacket potato or meat with veggies, etc)
12.30 - nap (usually about 2 hours)
2.30 - wakes from nap
3.00 -3.30 - snack (raisins with small sandwiches)
5.30 - dinner -hot meal (either pasta or rice with chicken or shepherd's pie he'll eat most things)
6.45 - bath
7.15 - bottle then singing nursery rhythms in room then sleep

Do you think there may be some problems with this routine?? 

[Layla]

Your routine looks good

I do think its unsafe for him to be in the cot if he is able to now jump out.... maybe time to get a big bed

As for how to respond to him at night.... I don't think you should leave him to cry it out but if he's just moaning or if its a mantra cry then I would leave him to it. Also at this age some toddlers develop fears & anxieties & it might be a good idea to get a night light. He might be freaking out at night because he is frightened of something. Too much television can do that.... if he watches tv try to limit it to daytime (maybe in the morning or just after nap)... goodness only knows what their imagination leads them to believe.

Also it could be that he is ready for less sleep overall & thats why he is harder to settle at night. My dd's sleep requirements reduces around age 2... her nap was reduced from 2hrs to 1.5 & her nights went down to 10.5hrs (from 11+hrs). So... you could try to wake him 1.5hrs into the nap to see if he will stop the night wakings & will settle faster at night.

In any case... when he wakes at night & you see that the crying escalates, rather than leaving him to cio, I would suggest the wi/wo method. Here is the link....https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63896.0

Just some thoughts
Layla

[SylvieA]

Hi there, Our Schedule is the same as sleepless in uk, except bedtime is 8pm. I was just wondering if MY DS waking could be night terrors. He wakes normally a few hrs after putting him down. When he wakes he seems to be terrified, and will get hyserical if we get close to his bed. I feel so helpless when he does this which happens 2-3 time a week.

[Layla]

Usually night terrors are at the start of the night so if it seems like he's not awake but thrashing around & then it all ends & he returns back to sleep... thats usually a night terror.

I would try maybe an earlier bedtime... try 7.30pm to see if it will help with the night wakings

[SylvieA]

We'll give that a try Layla. Do you know of some good resources where I can look at. I've been searching online for a good website, but most are just to in depth. We just want to learn how to deal with them.

[Layla]

I have a really good book & we'll see whats in there... will have a look at some websites & see if I can make it simple

Be back soon

[Layla]

Sorry for the delayed reply. I had a flash this morning while driving my DH to work that I totally forgot to write back to you 

This is a quote from "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" by M Weissbluth

"Your child utters a piercing scream, and you rush into his room. He appeares wide-eyed, anxious, frightened. His pupils are dilated, sweat is covering his forehead and as you pick him up to hug him you notice his heart is punding and his chest heaving. He is inconsolable. Your heart is full of dread, and it almost seems as if some evil spirit has gripped your child. After five to fifteen minuted, the agitation and confused state finally subside. This is night terror.
  Night terrors, sleepwalking & sleeptalking all occur mainly during non-REM sleep & usually within 2 hours of going to sleep. They usually do not occur when we dream (during REM sleep); they are not bad dreams. In fact, children have no memory of them once they are awake.
  ...Night terrors have nothing to do with seizures, convulsions or epilepsy. Night terrors appear more often when a child has a fever or when sleep patterns are disturbed naturally , such as on long trips, during holidays, or when relatives come to visit. Recurrent night terrors are also often associated with chronically abnormal sleep schedules.
  Enabling them to get more sleep is the way of treating  overtired children who have frequent night terrors...."

Non-REM is deep sleep... when babies fall asleep, the first hour is deep sleep (non-REM), then the baby wakes briefly & then re-enter deep sleep for the next few hours & then wake briefly again to then enter light sleep (REM sleep)..... for the rest of the night they cycle b/n light sleep & REM & only enter deep sleep again for the last hour (or so) before they finally wake for the day. So its during these "brief" wakings at the start of the night that they can experience night terrors.

This is from a google search on how to deal with night terrors:
How to Help a Child During a Night Terror

Try to help your child return to normal sleep. You will not be able to awaken your child, so do not try. Turn on the lights so that your child is less confused by shadows. Make soothing comments. Hold your child if it seems to help him/her feel better. Shaking or shouting at your child may cause the child to become more upset.

Protect your child against injury. During a night terror, a child can fall down a stairway, run into a wall, or break a window. Try to gently direct your child back to bed.

Prepare babysitters for these episodes. Explain to people who care for your child what a night terror is and what to do if one happens.

Try to prevent night terrors. A night terror can be triggered if your child becomes overly-tired. Be sure your child goes to bed at a regular time, and early enough to give him/her enough sleep. Younger children may need to return to a daily nap.

For several nights, note how many minutes it is from the time your child falls asleep until the start of the night terror. Begin to awaken your child every 15 minutes before the expected time of the night terror. Keep your child fully awake and out of bed for 5 minutes. Continue waking your child like this for seven consecutive nights. If the night terrors return when you stop waking your child, repeat as needed.


Sorry for all the rambling
hth
Layla

[SylvieA]

Thank you so much for the info. It'll be very helpful next time it happens.
We tried earlier bedtime but he wakes at 6am if we do. So we may go back to his regular time.