really need help - 12 wk old wont slep on own

[steph236]

I just finished reading Tracy's book.  My son is 12wks old and born five weeks early.  I have had a lot of trouble putting him down to sleep.  I often have to breatfeed him to sleep, and even with that, once he is asleep and I put him down, he wakes up.  I found her book really helpful, especially with  the accidental parenting section.

But now I don't know where to go from here.

I will try to catch him before he reaches past his window of being tired. I will swaddle him in a dark room, and try to sit with him.  I will lay him down and start the shh pat.  I will have to do this for a long time before he will fall asleep.  I followed Tracy's guidelines about not leaving too soon, or stopping to soon.  It doesn't matter if I do it for 7 minutes, or 25 minutes, once I stop, he wakes and starts to scream.  This pattern will continue so long that he probably is getting over tired.  At this point, I can't calm him down.  THe only thing that will settle him is to nurse him.  I have really tried to sooth him at this point in other ways and it won't happen. 

Sometimes he starts this crying once I put him down.   He can concentrate on crying and the pat and shhh at the same time.  Nothing will calm him at this point.  He screams uncontrollably to the point that his face is purple, sometimes spitting up from it. 

I am feeling very overwhelmed at this point.  I have a two year old as well and Im afraid he is really starting to feel from this. 

I would really like my baby to be able to start taking naps and laying on his own.  I have been trying this for over a week now with no success.  Please any advice will help.

[*Natasha*]

Could you post your routine?

[katemom]

Hi,

I just wanted to say I know where you're coming from.  I started my lo on baby whisperer about the same time as yours, and it takes some time to get into the swing of things.  I never used the breast to settle, (since I was bottlefeeding!), so I didn't have to deal with my lo getting used to that not being the way to settle anymore, so that will be harder.  But I encourage you to stick with your desire to help him settle other ways.  I found that in the beginning, doing shush/pat over the shoulder to get my lo close to asleep worked well, so that by the time I put her in the crib, she WANTED to sleep and although got worked up, let the shush/pat do her thing.  This may not work for your lo, but I thought I'd mention that you might find this to be a good alternative to settling with the breast if screaming takes over.  That way you can continue to use shush/pat, but also add a little extra comfort of being held when necessary.  Just keep at it, and try different wind-downs if you think that might help, and things will get better!!!

hang in there,

katemom