Hello, sorry this is a long one.....
Started EASY 22 days ago to get my daughter (5months) to take her naps in her cot and to try to extend them beyond 45 mins. Since then I've seen no improvements and have just had one of our worst nights and days since we started. Am feeling upset, teary, frustrated and very very tired
. I could handle the difficult nap times if the nights weren't so awful, which is why I am posting here rather than nap board, although really my problems are with both.
My lo is mostly textbook with some touchy (definately not a textbook sleeper
). She's bf only on a 3.5 hour schedule - have tried extending to 4 hours but she struggles to make it beyond 3.5. Apart from her regular eating there has been no routine since we started this. Bad nights mean early naps, which try as I may I can't extend beyond 45mins and so EASY gradually becomes more ESA as the day wears on. We ususally manage 3 x 45 min naps a day, sometimes 4. After 3 weeks it can still take her up to an hour to fall asleep, usually with crying for the last part. I don't shhh/pat or PU/PD, I leave her when I first put her down unless she's crying, If she cries I go and put a hand on her chest and shhhh and stay with her either til she stops or til she sleeps. 90% of the time she spends at least the last 5-10mins crying. She has always fought sleep, even when we used to rock her to sleep she would have a cry. Although the days and nights differ depending on how long it takes her to fall asleep etc I will try to give you an idea of the kind of days/nights we're having...
day:
7am - bf & A
8.15 - windown & put in cot
9.00 - sleep
9.45 - attempt to extend then A
10.30 - bf & A
11.30 - windown and put down
12.15 - sleep
1.00 - attempt to extend then A
2.00 - bf & A
3.00 - wind down and put down (often she spends most of the time after going down looking around, blowing bubbles, sucking fingers etc etc)
4.00 - sleep if I'm lucky
4.45 - wake up, a couple of times she hasn't woken up from this and I've ended up waking her at 5.30
6.00- wind down
6.30- bf
7 - sleep
night:
10/10.30- df
1.30am - wakes, soiled nappy change
2.30 -wakes - shhh, back to sleep
2.50 - wakes, shh back to sleep
3.30 - wakes -bf
3.50 - back in cot, awake
4.00- change soiled nappy, stays awake in cot - lip sucking etc til about 5 then starts mantra crying - rest hand and sshhhh her, mantra becomes proper crying
6.00 - sleep
6.45 - wakes
So we are in a cycle of OT that I have no idea how to break. I have tried putting her down at the first sign of tiredness, sometimes only half an hour after waking, first time I did that it took 1.5 hrs for her to fall asleep, I have tried going by the clock. All I can say is some days/nights are better than the one above, some are worse. I would have thought after 3 weeks I would see some pattern or regularity emerging and I would have liked her to fall asleep without crying. I make sure her activities are low key for 1/2 hr before nap time, I have wind down routines, I try extending most naps, I am at a loss as to what to do next. I'd like to point out that although day time naps have always been a problem from 2-4 months we had good nights (S-6.30, df- 10.30, bf- 3.30, awake- 6.30 with no other wakings).
So ANY general advice would be great, but I also have a couple of specific q's I'd like answered if poss...
- when she wakes in the nights should I ignore any 'quiet awake' and mantra crying, or should I start 'hand and shhh' straight away? I've been inconsistent with this depending on my own tiredness, sometimes if I leap up at the first sound I can resettle within 5 mins, If I don't it almost always escalates into proper crying after a while.
- What do I do with the very early waking?? - anything from 3.45-4.15, and it's certainly not because she's well rested!!
- am thinking of dropping the dreamfeed, mostly so I can get some sleep in as now so tired I want to go to bed at 8.30ish and either have to set the alarm for the df or stay awake for it- what do you think?
Am so desparate, please help if you can.
Thank you
