Problem with 3.5 EASY

[shaunam]

I looked at the 'Frequently asked Questions' and couldn't find an answer.  I started a VERY spirited lo on 3.5hr EASY at 12 weeks and I think I messed everything up.  I just thought he was ready because he was taking more formula and sleeping longer.  The problem now is that only naps 45mins if at all and wakes crying from pain from wind.  And at night he throws up if we put him to bed too early (he pukes after every feed anyway, may be reflux but he's not in pain).  The 3.5 easy has a cluster feed at 5:30 - 7 or 7:30 so and now he won't take the df and wakes for a feed between 3-4am.

Even putting him to sleep doesn't work anymore; he also gets outof the swadlde in seconds but his arms flail less now and is nearly self-sooting with his hands.  I used to hold him and sh/pat before puting down to relax him but now he just squirms.  I think that means he's trying to sleep on his own but once down he'll play for ages and spit the paci out to suck (or choke on) his hands until he gets agitated and over-stimulated. 

What am I doing wrong?  I shut myself in the house for weeks to get some sort of pattern and I dread having to do it again...it just seems I have no life because I'm constantly trying to get him to sleep and adjust schedules.  Does every parent have this?? It seems moms are always out on the town with their babies and I barely make it out of the house twice a week for a walk with him.  I feel guilty that I can't get him to sleep even though he obviously needs it. 

Sorry for the rant, I'm just at my wits end with this stuff and everyone telling me to let him do what he wants...but if I do nothing he would NEVER sleep.   Here's the schedule this week;

E - 7
A - play chair, nappy change, singing, etc
S - 8-8:30 in bedroom cot
E - 10:30
A - same
S - 11:30-12 downstairs in portable cot
E - 2
A - same
S - 3-3:30 in portable cot
E - 5:30 cluster 7:30
S - 8 in portable cot
df - 11:00


I think I'll have to put in him in the same bed al the time but puttin him down in the portable cot was working up until recently.

Can anyone help?  Should he go back on 3hrs?

[Aly Mac]

Hi there - big hugs to you.  No, you have not stuffed things up!!!  It's so important to help them sleep independantly, but don't expect too much too soon.  He is still little and is just starting to work out this whole napping thing!  (babies work out night time sleep first, then at around 3-6months, they work out their daytime sleep).  45min naps are common at this stage. 

This link below, is a technique on sh/pt which you can use to calm a baby down. Try this out, but for spirited lo's it can be a little much, you may end up just rubbing and shing instead.
pat/shush intructions

Another important thing is a windown routine?  do you do one?  below is a link to some good tips.  It's important that you are consistent and do this for every nap and bedtime. Start the windown about 15minutes before his due sleep time (so it's part of the A time). For very spiritied lo's its really improtant that they are calm before they get to sleep
windown routines

One thing I want you to remember though, is that even though it's a routine, it's not a schedule that has to be adhered to at all costs.  YOu still want to listen to what your lo is trying to tell you and follow those cues...also, it's important for you to get out of the house and have a break, even if it is with your lo.  try and plan for things in his A time.

As for the cluster feeding effecting the dream feed - all bubs are different.  My lo went great on cluster feeding but wouldn't wake for love nor money before 1am.  So you may find that you do either, not necessarily both.

I'm also going to get an EASY moderator to come have a look at your routine too, to make sure he is on the right hourly routine.  IMO it's ok, but they have more experience than me on those sorts of things.

hope all this helps, and let us know how you go.

[MJMom]

Your routine generally speaking looks OK.  how much are you paying attention to the cues?  At the 12 week mark, very rarely would a child actually eat exactly at 3.5 hrs between feeds if you were following their cues.  3.5 hrs should theoretically be OK for a 12 week old, but the range between feeds can be any where between 2.5 - 3.5 hrs.  Over the next 4 weeks as well, there should be a gradual shift to 4 hr EASY.

The routine is just a predictable order of events, but it is not a schedule to be adhered to.  The predictable order of events just helps your LO sort out their little world by offering some predictability.  The times are not cannon or law.

HTH!