Can you please help me sort out our night wakings? (12 month old)

[Maia&Lia]

Our daughter, Lia, has never been a great sleeper. She typically has had at least one night waking each night since she was born. She puts herself to sleep independently for all naps and bedtime. When she wakes, I typically will nurse her. My rationale for this was that she was waking at all different hours of the night and therefore I thought it was hunger instead of habit. I've struggled with getting her to take good feeds since she was more alert (maybe around 3 or 4 months old) and I think that has made the night wakings persist because she would prefer to play than eat during the day.

In any case, about a month ago she'd sleep from 7 pm to 5:15 am and sometimes would go back to sleep after
nursing at 5:15 am (other times she wouldn't and it would be a terribly long day--although, I'd take those days again instead of the ones we've had recently). Recently, she'll wake at any hour of the night from about midnight on. Just a week or so ago she woke up 2 and 3 times on consecutive nights. Developmentally, she is cruising around and finding a little more courage in herself to let go of surfaces & stand independently and it seems that she has 2 upper teeth that are trying to break through the gums. However, with all of that said, she always seems to have a "reason" why she isn't sleeping through the night.

So, I'm here in hopes for some help to sort out why she might be waking OR help figure out how to encourage her to sleep through the night. Any suggestions?

And, here are the answers to my questions:

How old is your child? Turned 1 on November 8th (so 12 mo, 2 weeks)
What’s his/her daily routine?
6:00 am, up & breastfeed, get ready for the day
7:00 am, breakfast (cereal, bagel, waffle, water)--she doesn't eat much b-fast unless it is something super yummy.
7:30 am, play
9:00 am, nap (lasts from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours)
10:30/11, nurse
12:00, lunch
1-2:00, play
2:00, nap (lasts from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours depending on how long the morning nap was)
3:30, nurse
3:30-6, play
6:00, dinner
6:45, nurse
7:00, in bed
What’s nap routine? Change diaper, cuddles, given lovey, white noise and in crib awake
How long are naps? Between 45 minutes and 1.5 hours, unusual to have a 2 hour nap
What's bedtime routine? Time? PJs, brush teeth, diaper change, nurse, put into bed awake & with lovey
Do you bottle or breastfed?? Breastfeed
How much? or how long? Lasts about 2-4 minutes/feed. She has always been a fast nurser & I have fast let-down.
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed) Usually only one side, unless I can tell she is still hungry
How many wakes per night? Usually only one, almost never at the same time.
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? She screams, seriously. The first time I heard it, I thought she had fallen from the crib or something.
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry? Crying. Sometimes we'll let her fuss a bit if it doesn't sound like a real cry or if it seems like she cried out but settled herself. However, frequently it will escalate to a real cry.
What have you tried to settle?? I've tried holding her, Put-down, rubbing her head and nursing.
What do you do for A time and how long is it? Varies and varies. Typically we play at the house with some toys. We sometimes go to the park or run errands.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones? See above (we seem to have perpetual milestones... )
Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months) She eats 3 meals of solids daily. We do not do any baby foods any longer. She is eating only table foods.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it? No, unless breastfeeding in the middle of the night could be considered a prop to her?!? (This has been my question for a long time)
Do they have a lovie? Yes.

Any input you might have would be wonderful! Thanks for reading this Looooong post.

[Lilah'sMommy]

Alessia!  Hi!

I don't really have any kernels of wisdom to pass on, but did want to comiserate, because it sounds like Lia and Iris have some things in common-- like not taking decent feeds anymore at 4 months old, waking at night despite going down independently and needing to be nursed to settle.  Last week we had a horrible time of her waking up at 11:30 and STAYING UP for 2 or 3 hours.  I wanted to die.  It seems we're past that (for now), but we're still getting one NWing at about 2:30 or so and often an early morning waking at 5:30 or 6 that I also try to nurse her and pop her back into bed.  If it happens before 6 we usually get another hour or hour and a half.  If it happens after 6, forget it.

Anyway, my only advice would be to try night weaning.  That's what I'm planning to do.... when I work up the courage.   What I did with Lilah was to have DH go in and get her back to sleep by any means necessary, and pretty early on, she decided that if she wasn't going to get a breast, it wasn't worth it to wake up.  But who's to say Iris (or Lia) will react the same way?

Anyway, I hop you get some other advice that's more helpful than mine.

[andibig]

I think possibly the BF at night is a prop.She can get herself to sleep independently but resettling herself is a different matter. Do you you think its genuine hunger waking her or that she needs the breast in order to go back to sleep?
If the latter is the case I'd be tempted to wean her off the breast at night.If DH can do it that would be great .However if he isn't then I'd use something like PU/PD (well PD at this age) but I'll ask the BF mods for some more advice on that.

Looking at her routine she sometimes takes 45 min naps.Is the AM nap usually 45 mins? Usually 45 min naps are a sign that they need more awake time.I always limited DDs nap in the morning to ensure she got a good PM nap which was no longer than 1.5 hrs.
If she takes a short PM nap as well i'd bring her bedtime forward to compensate for any OT.

I  hope that all makes sense since i've rambled on a bit!!!
HTH

[Lilah'sMommy]

Alessia, we finally bit the bullet and started night-weaning on Friday night.  It took 2.5 hours both nights for her to get back to sleep, but the second night the NWing occurred later (1:15 instead of 11:30) and there was much less crying (even with DH settling her, she cried A LOT the first night.  She definitely has been using the breast as a prop to settle, so it's time to night-wean.  We're operating under the rule of no nursing before 5 am.  DH is pretty much having to hold me down and lecture me to keep me from running in to rescue her; I think because I have a feeling that Iris could be my last baby, I am having a much harder time letting go of night-nursing.    Anyway, just wondering how you are and if you decide to night-wean, I'm here for support!

[Aly Mac]

Alessia, I also found the feeding her in the middle of the night was causing the nw.  The way we broke it was that DH got up to her, not me....as I would cave in, plus she could smell me and knew I had what she wanted.  Even now, if she has trouble settling, it is easier for dh. With me, she will always sit up in the cot with her arms out, I do pd, and the screaming escalates. With DH, she does only sits up once, like she knows.  I always ask him what his secret is! (I guess it's no boobs....)  It really didn't take many nights for her to get it, plus I have to be really vigilant when he's not here to  use it if we have probs with naps...which seem to have gone, when we fixed the nw.

Also agree with the extended A time bit by bit, as it may help with longer naps too.

x