Moms to textbook babies...need your opinion

[JKHH]

My name is Janet. I have a question about textbook babies. I posted a question on the sleep board but I suspect it might be better suited here...

I think my DD is textbook. She is 11 days old. My other daughter s 2.5 and she is spirited (and textbook).

My new DD fights sleeping in the swaddle and makes quite a fuss...for a long, long time...also she is less inclined to take the paci than my first daughter. Is this typical for a textbook baby?

My spirited DD had major going to sleep issues (took until 4 months to grow out of it) and I thought it would be smoother sailing with a textbook baby.

Please let me know what to expect with a textbook newborn and starting EASY. Maybe this is all typical because it is such early days? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!!!

Many thanks!!

[EllenS]

I think inclination to a paci is individual more than "type" - my lo is angel/textbook and just does not like pacis, never did.  Once she got to the grabbing/exploring with hands phase, she would put them in and out of her mouth as a toy, sometimes right way round and sometimes backwards...but as a toy, not to suck on for soothing.

As for fighting the swaddle and taking a long time to go to sleep, that could be her age...or very possibly OT - how long are her awake times?

[JKHH]

Her awake times in the middle of the night are not long. Just a diaper change then back to sleep. During the day awake times have been short...but some are now as long as 1.5 hrs. By and large it is a struggle to have any awake time unless we stimulate her. So, I have started to give her a mini winddown before putting her to sleep.

[EllenS]

Yep, that's overtiredness - 1.5 hours is a looooooong time for her age.  We were constantly struggling to get just the necessary things done before it was time to sleep again.

[Grace's Mom]

I agree that your lo is most likely OT which would cause your lo to have a harder time falling asleep. 

At 11 days old, A time (including the feed and diaper change) should only be 45 minutes - 1 hour tops.  I would start to wind things down at the 30-45 minute mark....start your nap routine and swaddle before it's time for your lo to be asleep.  Also, babies tend to seem to not like the swaddle but I would give it some time as they usually aren't upset with the swaddle but are being started by their limbs, or are overtired or a great many things which have a tendency to come across as hating the swaddle. 

Here is a typical day for an 11 week old

7am wake and feed
8-10 nap
10 wake and feed
11-1 nap
1 wake and feed
2-4 nap
4 wake and feed
5-6 nap
7 feed and bed
Dream Feed.

Of course times will vary due to each baby being unique, but this is just an outline.  They need about 18-20 hours of sleep a day and good day time sleep begets good night time sleep.

Keep up the wonderful work and congrats on your new lo.

Remember: most lo's don't get on a real good EASY until 6-8 weeks so really use this time to enjoy your new sweet pea.  Learn your lo's cues and tendencies.  That will help you put together a great routine for him.

Melissa

[JKHH]

Thank you very much. I appreciate the help!

[JKHH]

Here is our update...

I have started putting my DD down sooner at 45 min - 1 hr...but sometimes she is not ready at that time...so putting her to sleep takes 40 min. If I wait till she is ready (sometimes at the hour and a half mark) she goes to sleep easier...but by the end of the day she is tired and fights going to sleep (cries a lot) at bedtime.

However, I have a NEW problem that I am hoping I can resolve quickly! 3 days ago my DD started napping for only 30 min than waking up. She usually sleeps for up to 2 hrs. Yesterday every nap in her cot at the hr mark with a winddown...everything by the book...today she is less tired and still the naps are 20-30 min then awake.

I don't think she is that over tired. Any ideas on how to get her back on her natural routine which was a 3 hr EASY.

Has anyone heard of this happening to a newborn? Did I break my textbook DD?!?!

[EllenS]

It does sound like overtiredness with the 30 min naps...Don't worry, she's not broken - as soon as you get something figured out, everything changes!

Or are you doing anything differently during Awake times - more noise, music, colors, movement - sometimes the 30 minute naps are from overstimulation (intensity) rather than overtiredness (duration).

She may be approaching a developmental milestone or a growth spurt ...could she be waking from hunger? 

Have you tried Wake 2 Sleep?  There is a lot of info, I think on the sleep board - sometimes abbreviated as W2S.

Sorry this is more questions than answers - but it's a few things you could check out.

[JKHH]

Hello. I have been offline for a few days.

I think the 30 naps have been tied to feeding. My milk supply just increased. And she likely had a growth spurt. Now they are gone:) So far...

Here is the reason I need help with my DD's EASY routine....I had soooo many challanges with my first daughter. She is spirited and I had 5 months of her crying before every nap!!!! Sleep training was such a challange for her. She had to cry out the world every time she went to sleep...she got stimulated so easily I could not take her for a walk or she would cry everytime we hit a crack in the sidewalk. I barely left the house so as to give her regular naps in her crib. She was a sweet and loving baby but when it came to sleep she was another person. We stuck to the sleep training and she developed a wonderful routine (still to this day) and the crying fits stopped (at 5 months).

I admit I am over senstive to crying at sleep time. And my brain can't comprehend why the hard crying...We continue to have really good naps and then bad ones with lots of overtired cries etc. At night things are going well for days, then a few bad nights with 40 min to get DD to sleep.

Why is this happening if we have a textbook baby. Doesn't that mean we bypass these challanges?

I feel like with a textbook baby I should have what the book says...a baby who can go to sleep independently and easily. Am I wrong? Are my expectations too high for her? Do all textbook babies have these challanges when they are this young?

I realize my new DD is just barely a month old but according to the book textbook babies can sleep well from the beginning. All I am looking for is less crying...I am not even asking for more sleep:)

Here is our routine:

Please note the following routine is what I have been doing for the last 2 weeks. I in this routine I started the S time after 1 hr awake time because DD showed yawns at this time.

Starting today I am starting S time at 45 min instead. Some great success some not so good. Still tyring to work this part out.

8am      E (30-40 min)
8:30am A diaper change, play with sister (hopefully quietly)
9am      S can take 20 min or 40 min (trying to make sure A time is more low key)
10:30 or 11am Y (depending on how long it took her to fall asleep)

11am       E (30 min)
11:30am  A diaper change, sit in carseat while I make lunch
12:00 pm S can take 20 min or 40 min
1:30pm or 2:00pm   Y (depending on how long it took her to fall asleep)

2:00pm       E (30 min)
2:30pm       A diaper change, play with sister
3:00 pm      S can take 20 min or 40 min
4:30pm or 5:00pm   Y (depending on how long it took her to fall asleep)

5:00pm       E (30 min)
5:30pm       A diaper change, play with Daddy
6:00 pm      S can take 20 min or 40 min
THIS NAP IS ALWAYS A BIG CHALLANGE AND OFTEN LITTLE SLEEP IS HAD
7:30pm or 8:00pm   Y (depending on how long it took her to fall asleep)

8pm
11pm
2am
5am (this sleep time can be a hard one too)
Wake up, diaper change, reswaddle, feed, back to sleep

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[EllenS]

My baby is textbook in terms of temperament - in that she's not Grumpy or Touchy, etc - she is a good sport about everything, generally cheery and is very adaptable, but sleeping was always a bit of a challenge.  We had a hard time with sleep training/routine, and still do. 

One month old is still REALLY little - many lo's don't start getting the hang of EASY until they are at least 6-8 weeks.  It's great that you are aiming toward a routine, but please don't let your expectations of what she is "supposed" to do or "supposed" to be like get in the way of enjoying who she is.

She can't read the book, she doesn't know what she's "supposed" to do.

Hugs!  You're doing fine.  Things will sort themselves out.

[stridey]

Hi there, wow you are doing such a fabulous job.
Your routine looks pretty good to me. One hour is heaps of time for your LO to be active.
Our DD is 'usually' a textbook babe. HOWEVER she didn't settle into her little eating and sleeping pattern until she was about 8 weeks old. She also used to take about 20 - 30 mins to go into that deep sleep. She would grizzle and cry on and off for about 5 minutes and then she would do what we called the 'waa waas'. It was more like a wind-down noise and time for her to get used to her new environment. Your LO has only been on the 'outside' for a very short time so there are new sounds and smells she will be getting used to.
We too struggled with the late afternoon 'catnap' in fact DD didn't seem to want to have one! I spent forever trying to get her to sleep and then one day my DH said 'well I guess she doesn't want to sleep' and we brought her out into the lounge on her bouncer and she chilled out with us and seemed to love it. Men can be so practical!! She did sort her afternoon 'catnap' out by herself.
I have to say one of the things we did that really seemed to work for us was to have her cot facing away so that she couldn't see the door. There was alot of standing and peeping through the door and watching her body language to see if she was just settling or if she was generally frustrated.
Enjoy your LO and one day soon all of your hard work with pay off.
Cheers