7mo ds not interested in sleep, desperate I drive around so he can get rest

[Jemy]

Not sure if this is the right place for me to post this, but I will start here.  O.K., my ds was never a good sleeper, many wakes, we dealt with colic and reflux...that is behind us now.  I did PU/PD @ 6 mos and it worked well.  We had a regression period that was poorly timed (ha! ha!) my mom went in the hospital, holidays, travel to family - you get the point.  So here I am with a 7 month old.  I don't think I do PUPD anymore because he is not crying.  First, we wind down, I put him in his crib, he talks a bit, i go away, he can continue to talk for 20-30 minutes.  Then he cries.  I go in he sees me and stops.  I tell him it is bed time, give him a kiss and walk away.  He cries again, I enter, he stops.  I only go in when it is the MOMMY I NEED U CRY!  It doesn't matter.  Now when I touch him he grabs on to my arm and wont let go.  I figure separation anxiety so I stay.  I shh and after anywhere between 7-30 minutes he fade off to sleep.  Then he comes back to life.  I can't think of any better way to describe it.  I think he is asleep, I saw the breath, the body relaxes and then the crying starts again.  He has come back up to 5 times.  Then the nap time runs out and I just wait till the next one.  Unfortunately he is EXTREMELY cranky and overtired and then our night is just as bad.  Many wakes.  I figure I will start with the naps first and deal with the many wakes and feeding later. 

Thought, suggestions, comments, criticisms...they are all welcome.
Thank you
Jemy

[¤ Efka ¤]

What is his routine?

Does it happens same for night sleep too?I mean for falling asleep?

[Jemy]

Hi Efka,
Sorry for my tardiness in responding to your question.  Here is my lo's schedule:

6:00-6:15 wake and feed
8:00 solids
8:45/9:00 nap ***
10:30 feed
12:30/1:00 nap ***
2:00/2:30 feed
5:00 solids
6:00 feed/bath
6:30 bed

0.K. My son was a belly sleeper up until mid December.  He would then roll on to his back and kick his feet on the mattress.  He would talk/whine for 10-30 minutes then start to cry.  I would go in, he would stop.  I would try and sooth him by stroking his hair.  He would calm, I would leave and this would continue.  I would finally stay and shh and stroke until he fell asleep.  Then he would only sleep for 40 minutes.  I tried the sleep to wake tactic after 30 minutes.  All I did was move his leg and he stirred and woke!  Ahh!!!! Then I spent the next 40 minutes trying to return him to dreamland.

Today, He went down with some shhing and then PU/PD.  Great, I thought.  He then woke every 15 minutes (give or take).  This took up the 1.5 hour window.  I am running out of steam and ideas.  This does also happen at night.  He usually it asleep between 6:50 and 7:15 then wakes shortly thereafter or 10:30 and the is up around 12is, 3is, and 4:30ish.  I know I shouldn't but I end up taking him in my bed because I am so exhausted.  I also have fed him in the night but am in the process of stopping that.  It is hard because he is breast fed and I don't know how to get him to eat more in the day

And this is why I drive around.  He can sleep up to 2 hours in the car and wakes happy.  I don't know what to do.  If you can offer any insight I would greatly appreciate it.  My friends and family are all advocates of the CIO method.  In my heart I believe it is unethical, however, I am not sure how much longer I can endure.  I has been 7 long SLEEPLESS months.  I really am not complaining either.  I just want to do whats best for my son.

I look forward to hearing from you or anyone.  Thank you.
Jemy

[Aly Mac]

Hi Jemy 

big hugs to you.  Sleep deprivation is an awful thing, and seems worse when they are older .  YOu ahve done a great job, and you seem to know your BW stuff!  You are right on the CIO - please don't do that, trust your instinct and try other methods.  Often it's tweaking their routine.

HOw long is he napping for?  I can't quite figure it out in your post as to how long, or in the your routine (I figure the *** are for something?).  How long the first nap is for will determin how much A time before the next nap.

Let me know the answers, and I will watch your posts so I can respond to you on the weekend if you need support. 

[Jemy]

Aly Mac,
Thank you for responding.  I apologize if I was not clear, I typed out everything and ds started to cry so I held him and he hit the keyboard and bye bye post.  Needless to say the second time I was not as eloquent! 

O.K., his naps are short.  Usually not more then 40 minutes.  He has been doing a lot of waking after 15 minutes as well. 
The doctor wants me to stop night feeds.  Me too.  I just don't know how.  Ds is on a 4 hour EASY.  That means at night he likes to eat at 10.  I can usually hold him off till 11:30 and then i feed him.  Hoping to get through till 6 but no luck.  He wakes around 2-3 and wants to eat again.  If I hold him off it is touch and go till 5 and then he really needs food.  I am try the w2s method and not really getting it yet.  I have watched my son sleep and I notice around 25 minutes he lets out a nice sigh.  Do I need to touch him before that point...after that?  Thirty minutes has been too long and he wakes. I am not sure when in the cycle I am supposed to touch.  I just went in and it took a lot of touching to get movement.  Unlike yesterday when I gave him the slightest touch he woke.  Finally after stroking his head he turn turned it from one side to the next (tummy sleeper).  We will see if that was enough.  Keep your fingers crossed.

At night I try not to go to him immediately.  SLOW.  I am sleeping in the room with him because it was too much for my husband to deal with and then go off to work.  I remind him everyday how lucky he is.   Although i am at the end of my rope after 7 months of various sleep issues.  My husband will be waking with me all weekend.  Team approach.  Hopefully, I can stay strong and see this through.  I am really trying and I really want to.  Unfortunately after getting up quite a few times in the night i just take him in bed with me.  Wrong...I know.  That is where hubbie will come in (hopefully).  Last nights schedule.  Sleep @6:45 wake @ 7:30, wake @ 8:40 @ 9:45-that is when I fed him.  Wake @12 - in my bed.  Wake @ 2 looking for a feed.  I held him off wake @ 3, now up @ 5.  It used to be 6 and that was fine.  % is a killer after that night!!!

Questions:
When I do shh pat, how long do i do it?  As I said before I have a tummy sleeper who now flips over.  When I can keep him on his tummy I pat his tushy.  I am afraid I will be a prop, although i feel like that is the least of my problem if I will just sleep.

PU/PD  He really isn't crying.  Whinny and then it stops.  I do not make eye contact with him because I do not want to engage him.  When he is on his back I don't know what to pat so i stroke his head.  Works but takes a long time.  Sometimes I am doing it 40 minutes.  Then I pull back when i see his eyer shutting, he cries we do PUPD.  Not sure that is right.

How do I limit feeds at night?

I have read the books many times.  I feel like I have the principals down pat.  It is the practice that is hard.  But I keep trying.  I know we have to have good days in order to have good nights.  When the first nap is bad I take him for a drive for the second at least to get him some rest.  He'll sleep for 2 hours!  I bought a vibrating pad to go under his mattress to mimic the car vibration.  Unfortunately is only stays on for 20 minutes.  It gets us down though.

I will apologize now for not reading this over.  I hope I have given you enough info.  Time is not on my side so i must post and go.  By the way your daughter is absolutely beautiful

jemy

[Aly Mac]

Aly Mac,
Thank you for responding.  I apologize if I was not clear, I typed out everything and ds started to cry so I held him and he hit the keyboard and bye bye post.  Needless to say the second time I was not as eloquent! 

No need to apologise  Lets tackle one thing at a time.

O.K., his naps are short.  Usually not more then 40 minutes.  He has been doing a lot of waking after 15 minutes as well. 
The doctor wants me to stop night feeds.  Me too.  I just don't know how.  Ds is on a 4 hour EASY.  That means at night he likes to eat at 10.  I can usually hold him off till 11:30 and then i feed him.  Hoping to get through till 6 but no luck.  He wakes around 2-3 and wants to eat again.  If I hold him off it is touch and go till 5 and then he really needs food.  I am try the w2s method and not really getting it yet.  I have watched my son sleep and I notice around 25 minutes he lets out a nice sigh.  Do I need to touch him before that point...after that?  Thirty minutes has been too long and he wakes. I am not sure when in the cycle I am supposed to touch.  I just went in and it took a lot of touching to get movement.  Unlike yesterday when I gave him the slightest touch he woke.  Finally after stroking his head he turn turned it from one side to the next (tummy sleeper).  We will see if that was enough.  Keep your fingers crossed.

Ok to start with, the average A time for a baby your age is around 2.75hrs - 3hrs.  YOu have him on the high end of the scale which is fine if he was getting longer naps. Because he is having short naps, he can't stay up that long so gets tired earlier and if you leave it another 3hrs he will be OT and then wont' sleep long (silly I know, but it's the way OT works). So with the short naps you need to cut back the next A time to around 2.5h (that's him in bed asleep by 2.5rs) so start the windown around 2hr10mins.  I would also cut back the first A time just a little - def to 2.5hrs as the first nap is normally an extension of the night sleep and hence the A time is shorter, but it is also the easiest nap to extend.  So something like this:

6:00-6:15 wake and feed
8:00 solids
8:30-10
10:30 feed
1:00 nap
2:00/2:30 feed
5:00 solids
6:00 feed/bath
6:30 bed

so your routine won't be off too much.  Of course if it's  a 45min nap then this is the routine

6:00-6:15 wake and feed
8:00 solids
8:30-9.15 nap
10:30 feed
11:30 - 12.15 nap
2:00/2:30 feed
2.30 catnap
5:00 solids
6:00 feed/bath
6:30 bed (though you may want to do this earlier.

I've put the catnap in, just in case he's really OT - make it only half hour. and bed might need to be earlier than 6.30.  Up to you on the catnap, but if not, then it would be bed by 5.30.  Sounds early but it really works, and they normally don't wake early because of it.

So try tackling the naps first.  I'll post again regarding the other issues, so it's easier for you to see than in one long post.

[Aly Mac]

Nightwakings;

At night I try not to go to him immediately.  SLOW.  I am sleeping in the room with him because it was too much for my husband to deal with and then go off to work.  I remind him everyday how lucky he is.   Although i am at the end of my rope after 7 months of various sleep issues.  My husband will be waking with me all weekend.  Team approach.  Hopefully, I can stay strong and see this through.  I am really trying and I really want to.  Unfortunately after getting up quite a few times in the night i just take him in bed with me.  Wrong...I know.  That is where hubbie will come in (hopefully).  Last nights schedule.  Sleep @6:45 wake @ 7:30, wake @ 8:40 @ 9:45-that is when I fed him.  Wake @12 - in my bed.  Wake @ 2 looking for a feed.  I held him off wake @ 3, now up @ 5.  It used to be 6 and that was fine.  % is a killer after that night!!!

I think once the A times and naps are sorted - or at least the A times are shorter and an extra catnap or early to bed while we work on longer naps, then the nightwakings should reduce - esp the once pre 2am.

Try not to beat yourself up over taking him to bed - you are tired and need some rest.  I too always took the night shift as hubby worked (still do really  )

As for feedings at night - do you do a dreamfeed? I am assuming by your post you are bf, if not can you post how much he's drinking?  Dream feed around 10 may help in the meantime but I think that he is waking from habit not hunger so much and due to his bad sleeping int he day.  YOu may have dropped the df a while ago, so sorry if I am suggesting something that probably took you a while to get rid of. Make sure that throughout the day he is still getting ample milk, and not too many solids as that can take from his milk feeding.  at his age, he still gets the majority of calories from bf/ff not solids, so don't think that filling him on food will help - it's a common missconception.

lets tackle this some more once the naps are sorted a little.

[Aly Mac]

When I do shh pat, how long do i do it?  As I said before I have a tummy sleeper who now flips over.  When I can keep him on his tummy I pat his tushy.  I am afraid I will be a prop, although i feel like that is the least of my problem if I will just sleep.

just do it long enough to calm him at this age.  pat, rub, you may even not need to sh, it's more the rythym of the patting/rubbing that I found worked at this age (and even now sometimes.)

PU/PD  He really isn't crying.  Whinny and then it stops.  I do not make eye contact with him because I do not want to engage him.  When he is on his back I don't know what to pat so i stroke his head.  Works but takes a long time.  Sometimes I am doing it 40 minutes.  Then I pull back when i see his eyer shutting, he cries we do PUPD.  Not sure that is right.

100% correct    ONly do pu/pd when they are crying.  With any method - stroking or sh/pt, you will find that it will get shorter and shorter the better their naps and the more they get used to settling themselves.  It's ok to get them calm, but not asleep and leave the room.  I know with sh/pt it is recomended to keep sh/pting past the sleep stage, but this mainly for smaller babies. If he makes a few noises its ok.

do you know the sound of his mantra cry at all?

I have read the books many times.  I feel like I have the principals down pat.  It is the practice that is hard.  But I keep trying.  I know we have to have good days in order to have good nights.  When the first nap is bad I take him for a drive for the second at least to get him some rest.  He'll sleep for 2 hours!  I bought a vibrating pad to go under his mattress to mimic the car vibration.  Unfortunately is only stays on for 20 minutes.  It gets us down though.

Hey sometimes when they are that ot, some accidental parenting is ok.  you all need some rest and if this works great.

with all of this, are you able to get someone to help you in the daytime?  jsut so you can get some rest too?

I help all this helps -sorry it is so much, jsut wanted to address it all, but really I think if we can at least start to sort the naps, the nightwakings will reduce. and then we can tackle the night feedings.  I think stick to it for the moment, but do try to calm him first in case he will settle. It may take longer, hence why I say to feed him for now, but try to limit the amounth (one side feeding instead of two.)


I hope the weekend is finding you well and with some sleep.

[Jemy]

Hi Aly Mac,
Here I am checking to see if you responded to my post and I don't see my post.  Wow!  Do I need a vacation.  Not sure what exactly happened, but i will try and recreate my original post.  You must be wondering why i did not respond.  Anyway, I want to thank you for taking so much time to respond to all of my questions and comments.  Here is what Friday and Saturday night looked like.  remember I said my husband was going to wake with me. what a big help.  I did not take ds in my bed at all.  It was hard and I was tired but we survived.

Fri Night
7:17 sleep
10:00 wake
10:34 wake
11:47 feed
1:37 wake
2:02 wake
3:27 feed
5:00 wake
5:30 wake and feed

Horrible night wasn't it

Sat Night
7:14 sleep
9:55 -11:00 many wakes.  He found a pacifier in the corner of his crib.  I was going to use that to hold off feeding from the night before.  Forgot it was there.  2:34 feed!!!!   Anyway, it worked well.  Bad, I know.
5:50 wake and feed

Much better with the use of the pacifier

Questions and concerns
Friday night was horrible.  I am not sure if I should pat longer.  I know that is usually done with infants...should we take a giant step back?  Although i do not want to become a prop.  Sat night wasn't as bad but then Sun was horrible and Monday seems to be following suite.  We have been down for 1 hour and he has gotten up 3 times.   I am able to get him back down with only a few pats.  PUPD is not even needed.  I wait in the room till I hear the sigh, usually around 7 minute mark.

Will all this patting eventually teach ds to sooth himself?  He can sooth himself by humming.  Usually does that in the car.  Sometimes sucks on his fingers in the crib.  I don't see anything all the the time though.

Since I am trying to get rid of night feed, what time should I try for? 

I know I didn't type the day schedule (again) but your tips helped.  I don't want to jinx myself, but i did w2s 4 times and it worked 3 of them.  He naps went from tops 40 minutes to 1 hour and 25 minutes.

Now when i bring him upstairs to do wind down, he cries.  We just try and work through it, however, i seem to be putting him in the crib crying.  Then he turns his head back and forth from one side to the next, it seems like 25 to 50 times.  Is that a sign of being OT?

As I said he falls asleep in the car.  We purchased a vibrating machine to go under his mattress to mimic the car.  Is that a prop?  Should I not even go there.  I am not sure if it is making a difference.

I am still peeved that my post disappeared.  I hope I wasn't all over the place and you could follow.  Anything you can offer will be appreciated.  Jem

[Aly Mac]

Questions and concerns
Friday night was horrible.  I am not sure if I should pat longer.  I know that is usually done with infants...should we take a giant step back?  Although i do not want to become a prop.  Sat night wasn't as bad but then Sun was horrible and Monday seems to be following suite.  We have been down for 1 hour and he has gotten up 3 times.   I am able to get him back down with only a few pats.  PUPD is not even needed.  I wait in the room till I hear the sigh, usually around 7 minute mark.

I know this sounds bad to you, but you really have progressed.  As you said, it only took a few pats tot get him back down. And pu/pd wasn't even needed - THATS GREAT!! That will progress to him soothing himself.  As for how long to do it, I guess as my last post said, as long as you need to, to get him calm.

Will all this patting eventually teach ds to sooth himself?

 Yes!

He can sooth himself by humming.  Usually does that in the car.  Sometimes sucks on his fingers in the crib.  I don't see anything all the the time though.

And you may not.  My lo sooths herslef by several methods.  A lovey is great - does he have one of those? A blanket or a really soft toy - we use a hand puppet that is really soft - she loves it!

Since I am trying to get rid of night feed, what time should I try for? 

have you tried  dream feed?  reason I ask is he's up a lot earlier in the night - that may help him miss the next feed.  so if you feed him around 10pm, then he may not need the mid morning feed. use a pacifer for that one instead.  many bubs are still on a df at this age.  an alternative is a cluster feed, so if df hasn't worked let me know and I can coach you through that one.

I know I didn't type the day schedule (again) but your tips helped.  I don't want to jinx myself, but i did w2s 4 times and it worked 3 of them.  He naps went from tops 40 minutes to 1 hour and 25 minutes.

tha'ts so good!!!

Now when i bring him upstairs to do wind down, he cries.  We just try and work through it, however, i seem to be putting him in the crib crying.  Then he turns his head back and forth from one side to the next, it seems like 25 to 50 times.  Is that a sign of being OT?

I think the crying as you go upstairs is him knowing what's coming next - and thats a good thing!! that's why routines are good for kids.  as for the head back and forth - that could be his way of soothing himself to sleep. it may sound like little cries, then that's his mantra cry.

As I said he falls asleep in the car.  We purchased a vibrating machine to go under his mattress to mimic the car.  Is that a prop?  Should I not even go there.  I am not sure if it is making a difference.

Personally, as you have made such good progress, I would try without it.  It is a prop, but sometimes you do whatyou have to do, esp if they are ot.  it's up to you really, but know that you will need to wean him from it eventually.

You seemed to have a handle on this.  Please keep me updated.  You may have some setbacks, but that is normal, and then they throw you more curve balls.  Mine still does. Dealling with teething - and she teeths bad - her 13th tooth 

I hope all this helps!!!

[Jemy]

Aly Mac,
Thank you for the encouragement.  Funny you said teething.  That just started for us...not fun.

With regards to your questions:
The DF never worked for us.  He would always wake and the take up to an hour to resettle.  It was suggested that I stop it.  I would love to hear your thoughts on the cluster feed.

He has a lovey, which is a teddy bear that stays in his crib.  I am wondering if I should get one of those little blanket things (sorry I don't know what they're called but I see them @ Target with Winny the Pooh or someone else attached to the end) would he could have with him more often.  Thoughts?

I do not use a pacifier at night except to hold off night feeds.  My lo has access to it in the day and will often pick it up for a bit.  Yesterday he did not want to let it go (remember he was teething).  I let him sleep with it.  We had 3 wakes between 7-8.  He woke at 12:30 for a feed then at 3:27 and wanted another feed -I gave in.  Then he woke at 5:30 and I left him to play in the crib till 6. 

Time for nap.  Oh, how long do I intervene with the w2s?
Much appreciation
Jem

[Aly Mac]

The DF never worked for us.  He would always wake and the take up to an hour to resettle.  It was suggested that I stop it.  I would love to hear your thoughts on the cluster feed.

When we were cluster feeding (as L would never take the df - she loved her sleep back then and once she was out to it, she wasn't waking til after 12 normally), I would have the last feed at night around 6, so the one before that was 4. So only 2hrs.  For the feed proceeding that it was 4hrs or less.  So we were kind of on a 4hr easy, but sometimes not, depending on how the other feeds went (let me know if this doesn't make sense, and I'll explain).  We did this prior to intro'ing solids at dinner though.  once I noticed that the last feed of the day was being effected by the solids, I got rid of the 4pm feed, and was on a true 4hr easy.  Remember, milk comes before solids, in terms of importance, until 12 months or at least 9months.

Based on what I recomended in an earlier post, this is what it would look like with a cluster feed.

6:00-6:15 wake and feed
8:00 solids
8:30-10
10:30 feed
1:00 nap
2:00/2:30 feed
4:00 feed
5:00 solids
6:00 bath/feed
6:30 bed

Try aiming for that and see how you go.  We did this from a really young age (before BW and that I knew it was even called that!).  So i'm not sure how he will take to it at this age - try offering it for a few days and see.

He has a lovey, which is a teddy bear that stays in his crib.  I am wondering if I should get one of those little blanket things (sorry I don't know what they're called but I see them @ Target with Winny the Pooh or someone else attached to the end) would he could have with him more often.  Thoughts?

Something more flat than a teddy is good.

I do not use a pacifier at night except to hold off night feeds.  My lo has access to it in the day and will often pick it up for a bit.  Yesterday he did not want to let it go (remember he was teething).  I let him sleep with it.  We had 3 wakes between 7-8.  He woke at 12:30 for a feed then at 3:27 and wanted another feed -I gave in.  Then he woke at 5:30 and I left him to play in the crib till 6.

3 wakes between 7 and 8 - was it to replug? if so, the paci may be becoming a problem even if it was just for night.  Not that I'm saying to totally wean, but just something to remember. He may get to a point where he can put it in himself (my lo never could...)

Oh, how long do I intervene with the w2s?

Unitil its working consistenly (or most of the time) then give it a go without and see.  Stay in the room with him to see what he does without you intervening.  If he stirs too much, sh/pt to get him back to sleep.

hope all this helps.  I seem to always write a novel replying to you Jem!  But you have clear questions, so it makes it much easier to reply.

[Jemy]

Once again, thank you for your wisdom and patience.  Unfortunately, the last two nights have been Hell.  I feel as if I am hovering near rock bottom.  I want to cry, but I can not find the energy.  This is so hard.  And it never gets better.  We have a night here or there with not as many wakes but nothing substantial.  

I was really jealous when I read your post and you said your little one "loved her sleep back then and once she was out, she wasn't waking till after 12 normally."  Is what my little guy going through normal?  I think it is for some kids, otherwise they wouldn't have all of these books on sleep.  Right?  It is hard for a first time mom with sleep deprivation to know.  It has been 7.5 months of this.  I took him to his pediatrician to talk about his sleep issues.  She said to use the CIO method and he could cry for up to 2 hours!!!!!!  Can you believe that?  Needless to say, we don't go there anymore.  I found a holistic pediatrician - talk about the other extreme, he suggested putting the crib in our bedroom and/or moving the furniture around - feng shui (sp?)  I

O.K. to respond to your questions/suggestions.  I understand the cluster feed.  Have tried the last 2 days and will continue.  Haven't seen any difference, but you never know.

I purchased a lovey for him.  A little pooh with a blanket attached to it.  He seems to like it.  Doesn't hold it yet in the crib.  We'll see.  

I do not have to replug him when he cries.  He can put the pacifier in himself.  I just don't think he he can get through a sleep cycle in his crib.  He'll wake up around the 40 minute mark and cry.  I wait.  The cry changes.  i go in.  He replugs himself after he sees me.  I pat. I stop.  I leave.  Sometimes it is only 10 minutes and the process starts again.

With regards to naps, I hate the pacifier because he does not let out that after 25 minute sigh which was my cue before.  I tried to just use the clock and 3 times I ended up waking him and then i couldn't get him back down 2 of those times and used up his whole nap patting.

Do you know the specifics of the w2s method?  Specifically, when in the cycle I need to intervene.  Maybe if I knew it wouldn't matter if he had the pacifier or not.    

Concerns:
My beautiful boy had dark circles under his eyes.  It is so sad for me to look at him.  Although, he still has personality in the day.  A lot more then his mother!

I know your are not a doctor, but it concerns me that he will not have enough neurological growth.  The BW said that happens when they sleep.

I am afraid all of this waking is now a pattern since it has happened so much.

O.K., so he is OT.  When/how does that go away?  i know you said if they are OT their naps may be short because they can't settle themselves.  That's my boy.  I just don't know how to break the vicious cycle.  

I hope you don't regret responding to me the first time.  I know I have taken a great deal of your time.  And I truly appreciate your support.  Bless you.  Jem

[Aly Mac]

Hi Jemy, sorry to make you jealous about my LO. Sleep is differnet for all babies, depending on the temperement.  She might have slept the first half of the night, but she did 45min naps for months!! (hope that makes you feel better... ). 

With the lovey, take it to bed yourself, so you get your smell on it, and then he will associate it with you.  all the little things help, but it make take a little for him to get used to it.

Here is a link to w2s to help you out: It details when and how to do it. 
wake to sleep

With the pacifer, people have differing opinons on whether to sleep train while using a paci.  there are fors and against.  It is a prop and will have to be dealt with eventually.  It's really up to you, as sometimes you need something to help them sleep.  It's great he can put it back in himself.

My beautiful boy had dark circles under his eyes.  It is so sad for me to look at him.  Although, he still has personality in the day.  A lot more then his mother!

I know your are not a doctor, but it concerns me that he will not have enough neurological growth.  The BW said that happens when they sleep.

I am afraid all of this waking is now a pattern since it has happened so much.

O.K., so he is OT.  When/how does that go away?  i know you said if they are OT their naps may be short because they can't settle themselves.  That's my boy.  I just don't know how to break the vicious cycle.  

I hope you don't regret responding to me the first time.  I know I have taken a great deal of your time.  And I truly appreciate your support.  Bless you.  Jem

YOu know sometimes you need to give yourself and him a break, and get him to sleep anyway you can. forget about bw, just accidental parent, until he tanks up.  not saying for weeks, just a day or so, then he will be rested and you will have more resolve for this.  It's tough love, but sometimes you need to do what you need to do. 

And no, I don't regret it, I just wish I could help you more.

Could you post what yesterday/today (sorry I get confused with timezones!) looked like?