Night wakings - won't settile in own bed

[lin7604]

i have been having a problem for 1 week now that i have never had before.  my ds is 15 months and is getting his last molar ( i think could be a factor), he got his 1st ear infection ( could be another factor) and we just came home from a 2 week stay in mexico ( hno sleep issues at all there).  SO he has been on med for several days now and is much chipper during the day, so last night i said no more bringing himto bed with us as he's well now.  Well i guess i created a monster, it takes me sometimes 1 hr to get him to sleep b/c if i leave the room he freaks, so i have to sit on the stool till he's asleep.  Then he only sleeps 1 hr and freaks.  so last night i though enoughs enough, i will give tough love and let him cry.  Well 1 hr later and he was getting very hysterical, so i entered and calmed him down but i find once he sees me it makes it worse and he freaks more if i try to leave.  well in the end i cave again and brought him to bed with me. hubby was very ed that i brought him to bed again but i need some sleep it's been a week of maybe 2 hrs of sleep each night and that has been broken up at times.  He sleeps like a charm in bed with us but we also don't have the room on a double bed!  He does still wake a few times to check if i'm there and once he sees me he goes right back to sleep.  if he was in his bed it wouldn't of been so easy andit would of been a LONG night!  what does anyone suggest to break his quickly learned habit?

[lin7604]

during the day he is 100 back to normal but at sleep times!  i just don't know how to handle bedtime as hubby is annoyed with me that i even ever brought him to bed with us ( we have a double so not enough room either).  last night it took me 1 hr to get him to sleep and then he woke exactually 1 hr later!  i thought i will start wi/wo all night if i need and get him out of thinking he can sleep with us.  but again it was over 1 hr of hysteria and i caved in.  i need my sleep too as once he's in bed with us i don't sleep well as there isn't enough room, etc.  He sleeps very well once in bed with us but he still does wake a few times to see if i am right beside hima dn then goes back to sleep.  hubby said today that enough is enough no more bringing him to bed with us, we have been arguring about it.  he thinks i created a monster and bringing him to bed with us is worse, that he may just need one or 2 night s of tough love to get himself back on track.   sheesh... this is so hard!

[Lissybits]

Hi - sorry to hear things are not going too well.
You could try a blow up bed in DS's room - that way DH won't be cross and you'll be able to soothe DS easier and quicker which will also give you a bit more sleep than doing WIWO.
Unfortunately, it only takes a few nights of doing something to form a habit
It took us about a week to get back on track after DS's ear infection during which time he was in our bed from midnight onwards most nights.
He would wake in the night crying and pointing to our room and saying, "Daddy, Daddy!" Ohh my heart broke! It's very hard not to cave in but you just have to think LONG TERM  and definitely get to bed earlier at night to catch up on sleep. I was REALLY tired
But, also remember that DS may still not be feeling 100% although he's ok during the day.
I really hope things get better soon. It's soo hard to cope with things when you don't have enough sleep.
Lis
x

[lin7604]

thanks, yes it is hard to cope and it's hard for each of us to really understand each other as we both believe to do it differently.

[andibig]

((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

Its horrible when they are ill .It can take about two weeks for them to get back on track.
Its going to be a case (unfortunately) of being consistent with whatever sleep training method you use.I've had a few times when I've had to do this with Sasha after illness.
What about asking DH if he can share the hard work with you (like you do one night ,he does the next).
Or you could start off with GW (gradual withdrawal) so he is nicely settled and finish off with WI/WO???

[Layla]

Lin, I merged the 2 topics together. Sorry I haven't read the other posts but just wanted to say that I think that its better to get a mattress into his bed rather than take him into yours. If you are working towards independant sleep then you really need to try & settle him in the cot.

You know it can take a while to sleep train if he's been side tracked but you really do need to be more consistent. Its hard I know when you haven't had much sleep yourself but letting him cry one night & then taking him to your bed the next & then sitting by his side the next is not really consistent & it will take longer for him to learn.

Would DH help out with the nightwakings at all? I think going to bed super early yourself & be prepared for looong nights....

[lin7604]

yes we go to bed at 9pm.  The last 2 nights we put him to bed at 7:30 adn 8pm but he didn't all asleep till about 9pm, so i went straight to bed knowing it was going to be a long night.  I do understand what you mean about being consistant.  I have not been doing so, i always start off the night lately sitting by his bed till he falls asleep and then if he wakes again with in a few hours but if he is unconsolable and it's been 2 hrs or so , i give in and that is when i bring him to bed with us, so i can get some sort of rest.  Hubby and i do take turns but his is a long distance driver and isn't always home to help.  Also he has WAY less pacience too, so it sometimes is way better for all of us for me to deal with it, if you know what i mean....

[lin7604]

well things have gotten better for the most part.  He still scrams for a min or two when put down for a nap or bed but then settles himself.  He is still waking at night, sometimes just a few short cries and back to sleep on his own.  He did wake freaking last night at 1am and was unable to settle himself.  HIs sleep at night has been improving but i can't figure out why he seems so heartbroken when he is put in his bed?

[Layla]

Do you think he might be developing fear of the dark? Do you have a night light for him?

[lin7604]

i never thought of that, it could be? we do have a night light on but the first week we were home and it was really difficult we left his light on for him.  It's a monitor by safety first and it lights up when pressed adn it goes off aoutomatically after 10 mins.  He still screamed.  Tonight it was 1 min of intense screaming and then it was done???  why? i have no clue?

[Petra-Kate]

Try a night light that stays on all night...that way if he wakes up during the night he isn't in total darkness.   I don't know if it will work but its worth a try.  Hang in there.

[lin7604]

oh his other night light does stay on 24 -7!  it's the monitor light that turn off after 10 min adn he still cries with that one on?  Last night he was sleepinmg by 7:30 fussed at 9:30ish, again at 11pm adn then 11:15 was freaking!!!  I had to go in as he was hysterical, after that he went to sleep till 7:45am.

[Petra-Kate]

So he slept from 11:15 to 7:45?  Well that is some good sleep - not perfect but better!  It really is sounding like SA to me.  Someone suggested a routine on your other thread that may help.  *Hugs*

My lil'monkey decided to creep out into the living room and play his piano at 5:00 am last night.   

[lin7604]

lol that's too funny!