Hi Clare
Had I not had DS2 I would probably have had no advice to give, just hugs! However, having reached the almost 13 month mark with a bouncy, healthy, mischievous baby who is the worst eater I have ever come across, I hope I will be able to give you some comfort.
DS2 had reflux so his bottle feeds were always difficult, though we eventually managed the pain with Gaviscon and meds. However, he never really drank as much as his big brother and when I mentioned my concerns to the PHN or my GP they just took one look at this chubby face and laughed. Solids was a joke! To this day he will stuff his face with finger food but is very reluctant to accept a spoon feed. He will in creche funny enough but not for me at all.
To date, my 12 month old has existed on (since he was 9 months old) - 3 bottles a day (varying between 5 and 9oz) and - almost zero breakfast, chicken and steamed veg for lunch, and cheese and crackers for tea!! Oh, and he loves apples so he might have an apple as well. I promise I'm not exaggerating! I look at the size of the jars of food for 12 month olds in the supermarket and laugh! DS2 wouldn't eat a quarter of that!! And yet, he weighs 24lbs and has tons of energy and is perfectly healthy!
As I said, he started at creche a month ago and he eats BRILLIANTLY for them. I don't know what it is - the sociability maybe? And now, about a week ago he started letting me give him a yogurt but still refuses my home cooked food which requires a spoon. So for me exists on a diet of fish, which he can pick up with his fingers or chicken and steamed veg.
The fact that your little guy is eating 2 courses is fantastic. My DS1 would have eaten two courses at every meal - he had a huge appetite. Try not to worry too much if he eats the fruit first and then the veg - the important thing is he's getting the nutrients and he's eating plenty. On the milk thing, I've learned not to worry but that's easy to say 5 months down the line after panicking myself my baby wouldn't live to see his first birthday
because he drank so little milk.
I know how scary it is, I really do, but your baby is eating what he feels he needs and you are offering him wonderful, nutritious food so you're doing fine.
Hope this helps a little.
Lami