Breakfast Battle

[x95stocchier]

I'm looking for some advice on dealing with DS (2 yrs old) at breakfast time.  Lately (past 2-3 weeks) breakfast has become a battle.  He does not want to eat, gets mad if I choose bfast, won't chose it on his own, has a tantrum, cries, whines, pushes food across the table, throws a spoon on the floor (then gets angry that he can't reach it), etc.  I have tried all I can think of (letting him chose the bowl, spoon, etc; giving him 2 choices for cereal, or whatever) he will not choose (whining and crying) and then gets mad when I choose for him.   He even gets upset at my getting myself some breakfast.  He does not do this any other time of day, and eats all his other meals/snacks like a champ. 

I thought maybe he's not hungry yet so I tried waiting up to an hour for him to be interested, and he still says no to breakfast and does the same whole routine.  I also thought maybe he wakes famished, so I tried forcing it right away (wake, change clothes, immediatley eat) but again, same routine.

Eventually, he does calm down and eat.  I have been just putting it on the table, putting him in his chair, doing prayers, and then I start eating, basically ignoring his table tantrum, and he'll calm down eventually and start eating, and usually finish.

Does any one have any suggestions?  It is such a tough way to start a day...and we are expecting another lo very soon, I hate the thought of dealing with this then......

[Jonahs Mom]

Does he have his 2 year molars? We just went through this with ds due to his molars. It lasted 2 weeks (b/w that and being sick) and then it just subsided.
You described our experience very well.

We did end up offering something new, which he likes, and it was all he wanted every morning, but still had to have a grouch-fest before hand.

In the meantime I would ask him if he is "upset, not hungry, wants something else, frustrated,etc." to help him identify what is wrong. Although my ds says very little, he would say 'ya' if we got it right.

[aisling]

Not sure how you feel about this.  We are lounging, take it slow people in the morning.  DH and I have coffee/tea and DS wants to play.  I come on here, I love my morning BW with tea.  We get ready gradually and eat when we are in the mood. I ask DS what he feels like and I make it. Today was eggs and guacamole! He sits at his little play table and we have the TV on, it is all very relaxed. Then he might have toast after etc...he ends up eating two breakfasts really, one as he wakes, one before we head out somewhere around 9:30/10am. Sometimes DH or I eat at his little table too.  It is very relaxed family time, yet a good dose of some alone time for all of us.  DS's main focus is play after 11 hours sleeping and no play, DH likes to catch up on his work emails before he goes to work, I like BW and somewhere in there we all get dressed, play together, fed and ready to go!  Works for us. HTH.

Aisling x

[LORRIEc]

The joys of having a 2 year old.  I was going to suggest a less formal meal as well.  My son often likes to graze in the morning -finger foods like toast dry cereal, fruit etc. and watch tv or play.  One thing that worked for us was opening the fridge or cupboard and letting him choose what he wanted, rather than giving him some options.  Some days he would stand in front of the fridge for 5 minutes (I know the energy bill    ) but he would eventually decide, where if I suggested something it would be a huge temper tantrum. 
Remember, he will not starve, and when he is really hungry he will ask for something.

[Lissybits]

Our DS is not a big breakfast eater - most of the time. Our mornings are also very relaxed. Like Aisling, mornings are tea and BW for me - this is my fav wake up!

I usually try DS with cereal or toast at about 7am ish, but if he refuses I don't make a fuss but simply remove it. He is too interested in playing first thing as he hasn't seen his beloved Thomas for 12 hours
So, he normally has a big cup of milk which he drinks while he's playing and while I'm BWing with my tea. Then at about 9.30 he asks for breakfast and he gets to choose. Normally it's chopped apple, banana, lumps of cheese and mini bread sticks or toast with jam .
Lunch is around 11.45 and supper around 5.30. These meals are always at a regular time and always eaten no problem at all; so I don't mind being a bit relaxed about breakfast and since he's drinking milk it kind of makes up for not eating the cereal
 I learnt a long time ago that it doesn't pay to get stressed about mealtimes. As Lorrie said - if they are hungry - they will eat!!
HTH
Lis
x

[x95stocchier]

Thanks all so much for yoru replies.  I appreciate knwoing so many of you have a non-structured bfast meal time even though other meals are more "proper."  I will try leaving toast on the table for grazing (he does love toast unless I'm trying to get him to sit down and eat it for breakfast lately!) and see how that goes.

Keri-you bring up a good point.  he has 3/4 molars in, and I think the last is starting to puff up, but not broke through yet.  The other 3 didn't seem to cause any trouble, but this one may be more painful.  We'll ride it out and see how it goes. 

Again, thanks all for your reassurement and advice!

[james030405]

I have found with both of mine that if I have a type of "buffet" style breakfast they will eat much more.  So I mght put out toast with a couple of different things on it, a plate of fruit salad and some cereal and they help themselves.  Great for their independence also.

[skatty]

Leorah is a bit younger but we too were having breakfast battles so I have recently changed it to a very similar situation that Aisling has going on  I let her eat standing up or sitting on her table or sometimes we sit on the sofa and share a plate of toast together while watching TV. I think expecting her to sit and eat nicely at the table 3 x a day was just too much, she is now very patient and enjoys our family dinners without trying to climb out of the chair and crying towards her toys

[x95stocchier]

Just wanted to report that we've tried a few of your suggestions with great success.  Over the weekend we let him have toast on his "picnic blanket" while watching TV, and of course he was happy to do so, though this is not a habit I wanted to get into on a regular basis.  Today before he even got up, I put a selection on the table, and he climbed up and munched a bit and I let him come & go.  Later, about 10 AM he asked for oatmeal & applesauce and ate the whole bowl!  Thanks for helping me see breakfast doesn't need to be so structured, it has helped both of our attitudes in the morning SO MUCH!

[LORRIEc]

Glad to hear that things are going much better for you.  It's nice to start the day without having a battle, it makes the whole day more enjoyable.

[Lissybits]

Oh Sarah, that's great news Glad Daniel enjoyed his picnic!
Lis
x

[aisling]

Same as Stacy. 

My DS likes his breaky split like that as well and tends to eat more at the 2nd seating like a bowl of porridge/oatmeal.  Sure makes for a better mood in the a.m as well with these LO's. Good to hear your a.m is less stressful.

A x

[willowonyx]

My DD is almost 21 months and is having issues with her breakfast time and well her dinner time too.  Unfortunatly, we do not have much time in the morning because both hubby and I work full-time.  She has about 20 minutes to eat. Some mornings she finishes her organic blueberry waffle or pancakes with fruit on the way to daycare. When we take it with us, she eats all of it, no problems, but at the table, it does not happen.

Can you give me some suggestions.  Like should I let her graze like you have talked about above or just implement taking it in the car (although, I do not like this idea, because she may associate the car with eating).

Help please.  Because now, she will not eat her dinner at the table.  She wants to get out of her booster (which does not have a seatbelt) and graze.