My daughter has had sleep issues since the day she was born. I didn’t have her on a schedule until she was ~6 mos old & even then, her days were never consistent due to me being unable to get her to fall asleep at scheduled times throughout the day.
I am currently expecting a second child in less than 2 mos & have become quite desperate in finding a solution to my daughter’s lack of sleep time. Here is her schedule:
Wake: anywhere from 5am-7am(very rare)
Breakfast: 7:30am
Snack: 9:30am
Lunch: 11am
Nap: 1pm to 2or3pm
Snack: 3pm
Dinner: 6:30pm
Bath: 7:30pm
In Bed: 8:45pm
Asleep: 9:15-9:45pm
Lately she has been waking at roughly 12, 2 & 4am – sometimes staying awake from 2am till 4 or 5am. On these nights, she will sometimes go to back to sleep & wake at 7am. On bad nights, if I stay in the room, she will fall asleep & occasionally wake up to make sure I am still there. If I leave to go back to bed once she is asleep, she is awake & screaming in a matter of minutes. I have read that this should not be considered separation anxiety as she is too old – but I can’t think of anything else it could be…
I have tried to make her bedtime earlier, but each time I do try, she just wakes earlier. When I was able to get her to fall asleep at 8pm, she was wide awake at 3:30am. I tried until 7am to get her back to sleep with no success, just an irate daughter.
Up until she turned 20 mos, she had always been either nursed or rocked to sleep. For the last 4 mos, I will read her a few books, sing her a few lullabies, and then lay her in her crib sleepy but awake. Sometimes she goes right to sleep, other times she cries for 10 mins to 30 mins in an effort to get me to pick her up & rock her or rub her feet. She has never fallen asleep without me in the room with her. I have tried to move gradually to the door, but when she notices that my chair is farther away, she screams & is inconsolable, pointing to where she is used to seeing my chair.
When she wakes at night, I don’t go right in if she is fussing. She NEVER puts herself back to sleep – her cries just get louder & more insistent. On good nights, when I go into her room, she usually settles pretty quickly & then spends about 30 mins making sure I am still there (by needing verbal reassurance or she will sit up to look at me). Then I can make my way back to my own bed where I wait for the next wake-up.
I know that I have incorporated tons of accidental parenting throughout the last two years, but is it possible that this baby doesn’t need more sleep? Could she be perpetually overtired, & just grown used to it? Is it possible to get her to sleep longer considering how out of control I have let this become?
Thanks for reading – any advice or recommendations would be welcome
