desperate for longer naps

[wands]

My LO is 11 weeks old.  We started shushing/ patting with him a week ago.  At first things were progressively getting better.  Before we starting BW he was only napping on me or in the car.  After starting BW finally naps were in the bassinet.  He was napping around 45 minutes which I made attempts to extend, but most of the time didn't work.  He sleeps great during the night.  Tuesday hit though and we had problems.  The entire day he took naps of 30  minutes or less and "helping" him to sleep at bedtime took us over two hours (seems like we were back at square one).  I thought maybe it was just an off day.  Wednesday brought us the same short 20 some minute naps.  I tried to extend but nothing worked.  My LO by now as you can imagine is very OT.  He was very cheery though throughout this whole ordeal.  I got very frustrated and ended up leaving him for about five minutes to cry on his own.  Last night was another difficult night to get to sleep.  He didn't sleep as well during the night, but it wasn't bad (I think around 4-5 hours before waking to nurse).  I have tried to shorten the A times, but that doesn't seem to work either.  I am so frustrated right now.  I also have a 4 year old that has probably been pretty neglected because I am spending all my time trying to get this LO to sleep and then I have been staying there for 10-20 minutes to make sure he is asleep.  Please anyone help me.  I don't want to give up, but really I don't know what else to do.  We are not making any progress and in fact things are at their all time worse.  I am losing it.  I hate to see my LO cry so much.  I have posted on the general sleep when we were just getting started but I thought since now it seems to be the short naps that are given us the most problems this would be a better place to post.  Thank you in advance.

[wands]

Oh yeah I forgot to mention that he jolts awake at 20-25 minutes and I can't get him back to sleep after that.  Thanks

[marensmama]

Hi and big hugs!  It can be so hard when they need sleep but are too OT to settle.  He is sooooo cute, though, isn't he?!   And great work on getting him to sleep in his own crib!  Celebrate every victory along the way!

In terms of what's going on now, well, we'll need to see your routine to give us more information.  Once we know how your day goes, we can try to tweak that routine to get him (and you) through this. 30 min naps usually mean that he's OT.  He was probably ready for more A time initially when the 45 minute naps started, but since those aren't restorative he got OT and began the 30 minute naps.

As you probably know, BW does not advocate any form of CC or CIO, although it's safest to leave your baby for a few minutes if you feel like you are getting supremely frustrated as long as you return a few minutes later to help him through these rough patches.  It sounds like that's what you did, I just wanted to reiterate.

Also, is he swaddled?  Does he use a paci or have any other props?  What temperament is he? 

You could try applying pressure at the jolts to help him through that part of his sleep.  When he does wake up, does pat/shh not work well to extend his naps? 

Sorry for all the questions, but with a little more info maybe we could work together to come up with a plan for you!

[wands]

Routine:
Well there hasn't been much of one since Tuesday.  Everything has been off.  I will post what Monday looked like:
E 7 (wake up)
A 7-8:30
S 8:30-9:15 (45 minutes nap)
A 9:15-10

E 10
A 10-11
S 11:1145
A 11:45-1

E 1:00
A 1-3:00
S 3-5 (yeah 2 hours on his own)

E 5:00
A 5-6:45
S 6:45 started bedtime routine and 7:00 asleep
woke up around 7:20 and sh/pat to sleep by 8:30 -- didn't wake up till 3am to nurse and then 6:30a nurse/ wake up.

So that was our good day.  On the previous Thursday and Friday I followed the same basic schedule (we had just started a week ago).  He slept basically again 40-45 minutes for the first few naps and then a 2 hour nap with some sh/ pat from me to extend.  Then Tuesday hit and everything went haywire.

Yes I did go back to him and comfort him.  I just needed a few minutes to relax myself. 

Yes he is swaddled.  He does not use a paci...won't take it.  My AP was bouncing him and he usually falls alseep in the car when it is moving. 

As far temperment... he is a mix of everything. I tried to do the test, but really he comes out with 6 and 5 for three categories (Angel, Textbook, and Grumpy).  Reading the descriptions though he sounds most like the spirited at times.  In general he is a very happy and smiley baby, just the sleeping is the issue. 

I have been putting pressure on his arms and legs through the jolt, but that doesn't seem to work.  The pressure and the sh/ pat did extend his nap last week but not this week.

I went to put him down for another nap around 12:30 and he was asleep with the pat/sh, but then woke up and got fussy.  I walked away and he was sucking on the hand that got out a bit from the swaddling.  I came downstairs and haven't heard anything since 1pm.  The thing is that he was suppose nurse at 1... do you think I should leave him in case he is sleeping or wake him to nurse?

As far as a routine for today (or the past days) I will do my best, but it is horrible.  I will use yesterday's schedule

E: 6:30
A
S 8-8:45

E 9:00
A 9:00-10
S: No sleep

E: 12
A: 12-12:45
S 12:45-1:00 (very poor)
A 1-2:30 (I attempted to get him to sleep, but he wouldn't so we did calming activities)
E: 2:30
A: 2:30-2:40
S: 2:40-3
A: 3-5:00 (again tried earlier to sleep, but nothing)
S: 5-5:30
Bedtime started around 6:45 took till 7:15 to get to sleep and then woke up around 8:00 and took another hour and half to get to sleep.

I hope that you can help us out.  Sorry that that schedule is so messy.  I just don't know what to do.
Thanks

[wands]

fyi he just woke up after 20ish or so minutes so I don't have to worry about him not nursing now. funny how exact he is.

[marensmama]

Generally speaking, 45 minute naps mean OT or UT and needing more A time, usually the latter.  However, A times for the average 3 mo LO are 80-90 minutes, and your A times are much longer than that.  The first A time is 90 mins on your first routine, and that's even on the high side since the first A time is typically shorter because it's an extension of night sleep.  I would definitely cut back the A time, using the 80-90 minutes as your guide but watching like a hawk for sleepy cues.  The moment he's sleepy, put him down.  And in his OT state, I would let him sleep as long as he needs until he's more rested.  Once you've reached that point, I'd not let him sleep past the 2 hr mark (oh to have such troubles, huh!?) Pat/shh should work well at this age (or your own modified version of) to extend the naps once you get the A time right.

I'd also experiment with wind-down (ie does he need more or less than what he's getting...my DD1 was angel/textbook and liked 3 songs and a cuddle.  DD2 is a touchy/spirited LO, and can barely tolerate turning the blinds and a swaddle before getting OS).

HTH!
 

[wands]

Thank you for you advice.  I will work on shortening those A times and seeing if that helps.  I did shorten them to less than an hour, but that didn't seem to help.  I will try again though and fiddle around with his wind down.