Almost ready to post a success story but...

[kellyanne]

Hello all,

I have a couple questions for you and I'm hoping someone can make light of them!

LO is 14 weeks old, about15 lbs, EBF through expressed milk.  Since he was 8 weeks old he was a chronic 30-45 min (at best) napper.  After WEEKS of trying EVERYTHING (short of CIO) I almost have it nipped.  It has taken a steady 3 weeks and I am now able to extend most of his naps.  (We are in the third week).

Issue one:  It can take anywhere from 10 to 40 minutes for me to extend his nap (send him back to sleep), I think depending on when I catch it and whether he sleeps 30 or 45 minutes.  What's been happening is that it extends his napping to two hours, usually.  He almost always sleeps 2 hours for the am nap, then usually 1.5 and then 2 again.  Sometimes I even have to wake him up...so my question is, should I wake him after 1.5 hours from when he initially went to sleep (to stay on 3 hour easy) or let him sleep until 2 hours, moving towards a 3.5 hour easy? My uncertainty is that he can barely do 1.5 A time - usually 1hr 15 or 20 min.  Then wind down is about 5-10 min.

Oddly enough, when I can't extend (i.e., when I'm out somewhere with him and he wakes up after 30 min), he still doesn't eat until 3 hours have passed and then he can stay up for another full cycle???  What's with this??

So this is our routine today:

E: 7:30 Wake and feed
A: 7:50 to 9:00
S: 9:00 - had to go in at 9:35 - out by 10:55 2 hour nap here
E: 11:00 feed
A: 11:15 to 12:20
S: 12:20 to 12:45 - Gramma was watching him and couldn't send him back to sleep.
A: 12:45 to 1:20
E: 1:20 to 1:40
A: 1:40 t0 2:45 - note how long he's been awake here.
S: 2:50 to 4:50 - had to go in at 3:35 and was in there until 4:10.
 - it is now 4:50 here and this is what the rest of the day will look like (fairly certain)
E: 4:50 - 5:10
A: 5:10 to 6:15
S: 6:15 - 6:50ish - cat nap
E: 7:00
A: 7:00-8:00 - play, bath, feed to sleep.

DF: 9:45 (after 10 isn't working)

1:20-2:30 - will wake here and eat almost full feed
5:15 - will wake and babble then fall asleep again until wake time - between 6:30 and 7:30

We aim for 7:30-7:30 day.

Last question:  When does it end?  Extending naps is taking FOREVER...and he still can't do it by himself!  I'm stuck at home basically until he gets the hang of it but it seems like he's just not ready...

Thanks for any help!
Kelly

[brenda2]

sounds like you are doing well in putting him back to sleep.  good for you for sticking with it!  hugs, it can be frustrating to spend all day in their room patting and shhhing.

sounds like your nights are good - that's great at this age!

how does he fall asleep in the first place?  what are you doing to extend?  any props?  what's his activity like?  is he swaddled? is he having naps in his crib?  when he wakes early is he crying?

waking after 25 or 30 min sounds like he's OT...but your A time is fine.

have you tried wake 2 sleep?

as for your question, i would let him sleep the 2 hours if he wants it and feed at 3.5 hours, or when he wakes.  he's going to be moving towards a 4 hour EASY in the next month anyway.  you don't have to rush him, some bubs don't get on it until closer to 5 mo anyway.

[kellyanne]

Thanks for the response!  What FINALLY worked was a variation of W2S.   At the 30 minute mark, I'd go into his room and wait for the tell-tale wakeup signs, which was lifting the legs and grunting.  All I do is hold them down and leave my hand on his chest.  I occasionally pat my hand lightly to get him back on track if his head starts weaving back and forth.  I shush sometimes too, but I do have a little machine that plays white noise, although I don't think it's loud enough. 
He is swaddled, but I'm starting to wean so I am leaving one hand out so he can suck on his fingers if he wants to.  He's a jolter and that wakes him up but basically I wait for his eyelids to get heavy again and the big jolts to stop...after probably 15 minutes or so I just sit in the room, he still might jolt but his eyes close right away again.
He goes to bed OK, although that was not the case for a while (OT).  He used to not cry at all but now he does this mantra cry that isn't really crying.  So I swaddle, hold for maybe a minute and tell him he's going to sleep and how lucky he is, etc, etc and put him down in his crib.  He's usually out within a few minutes and then I leave the room.

Naps today have only been 1.5 hours so I'm happy with that.  Of course my routine didnt' work as planned last night - he did do the catnap but he was SOOO not ready for bed at 8:00.  He didn't sleep until 9:15 so we didn't do a DF last night.

We are still trying to implement DF (day 5 today) and not sure if it's working.  He still wakes regardless but I THINK he's not as hungry.  Anyways, I digress!

Yeah, that's what I kinda thought about the 3.5 hour feedings.  I can't wait until he can do longer A times - I still think he's a bit OT when I put him down (b/c we have more 30 min naps than 45 min ones) but it's hard to judge sometimes.

No props - he uses a paci but not all the time.  He's been in his crib from about day 5 so no problems there.  It's darkened too - not totally but I think it helps.

If I leave him to try and fall asleep by himself he'll eventually start to cry so, no, when he wakes he usually just opens his eyes and looks around.  I get big smiles too, when I go in, but yawns too, so I know he's still tired.

I guess I just have to wait it out and see if he eventually gets the hang of it.  I wanted to have it nipped by the end of July when we go camping but that just may not be the case!!

Thanks again!