Brand new here and looking for some help!

[cupcakekisses]

Hi everyone.
Firstly what a great site, I haven't had much time to do a huge read through, but I have been looking through some of the threads, and am happy I was recommended this site!

My little one is 16 months, and he has never been a great day sleeper. At about 3 months old he started doing the cat nap thing, where he would sleep for only short periods of time (30-40mins) That has extended into toddlerhood, and he has slept for an hour or more  (on his onw) probably 15 times and that's it. He can sleep longer if I nap with him, if we're out and he's in the pram, in the car, etc. But if it's just him in his cot, he rarely sleeps longer than 30 minutes. He is at one day nap as present, 2 naps wasn't working and was just a huge battle as he wouldn't go down in the afternoon.

The other problem is waking early. This morning he woke at 3:30am and refused to go back to sleep. Most mornings though it is between 5am and 6am. He was sleeping until 7:30 am for a short time, which we were very pleased with! But it doesn't seem to matter what we do regarding routine, he wakes early. Sometimes he will go back to sleep with us in bed, sometimes he won't.

I realise that some of the things we are doing may not be promoting good sleep patterns, and my husband and I are quite willing to change things if it means it's better for our little one.

Lately this has been our routine:
5-6am - wake / bottle (<--we are also wanting to get rid of this very soon! but the thought of having to feed him breakfast at 5am is a bit off putting!)
6-7:30/8am - sometimes he goes back to sleep. If not, he's up and playing
8:30am - breakfast
11am - nap
11:30am - wake from nap
12:00pm - lunch
2:00pm - cup of FC milk
5:30pm - dinner
7:00pm - bottle
7:30/8pm - bed

He is getting much better at self settling. We bath, bottle, read and pop him into bed and he usually will drift off to sleep without us having to pat him or be in the room, though sometimes he does need to still see us. Naps are getting better, he will usually go to sleep without anything but me standing at the doorway.

What can we do? We are really tired, and little one gets very fussy and cranky during the day, it's obvious he needs more sleep!

Sorry for the mammoth post!!!

[campbellchick]

Hi cupcakekisses, welcome to this site.  I too have only found it recently and it has been my lifesaver on numerous occasions - I really wish I'd known about it for my first LO.... 

It sounds like to me that your LO is very overtired.  I know in babies - not sure about toddlers - that a 30 minute nap indicates OT and so does early waking.  By the look of your routine, he isn't getting near enough sleep over the course of a 24-hr period and has very long awake times during the day.  Also, his crankiness indicates he is overtired too.  I am hoping that someone else may step in and give you some good advice on adjusting your routine as I am no expert, but I have a few suggestions.  If you can't get a second  nap in during the day, can you put him down earlier in the evening?  It does seem at first that this may make him wake even earlier, but it generally doesn't.  It is a good way to catch up on OT - to get some extra hours in at night if you can't through the day, and his wake time should stay the same - and hopefully get a bit later when he has caught up.  8-8.5hrs is a very long time for a toddler his age to be awake at once.  To adjust his bedtime, just can do his bedtime routine, but just make it a little earlier over a period of time (e.g. by 30 mins - 7pm and do this for a few days, then decrease again by another 30 mins for a few days etc.) and see how he goes.  Not sure if you have come across it, but there is a post with the guidelines of the amount of sleep they need at different ages
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=85137.0
Your LO is only getting about 9.5 - 10.5hrs of sleep overall, which is quite a few hours short of the general amount of around 13.5hrs.  Do you know his tired cues at all?  The other possibility could be when you recognise his tired signs, put him down for a nap (this can be yawning, eartugging, eye rubbing, general grumpiness etc.) and you might find that if you get him during that sleep window, he may go down for 2 naps instead of just the one.  However, the more OT they are, the harder it is to get them to sleep - which is probably why he has been fighting his second nap too. 

Also on your 'getting rid of the bottle' comment, I did this by giving my ds sippee cups instead.  He was drinking water etc. out of a sippee cup through the day, so just after he went to drinking cow's milk, I started putting that in his cup and stopped using the bottle altogether.  We give him a cup of milk when he first gets up in the morning and one before bed.  You could always give your ds a cup of milk first up in the morning, then that will at least fill his little tummy for a while before you have to give him breakfast. 

Anyway, I hope some of that helps you, I really do feel that your ds is overtired and we just need to look at ways to get him to sleep more.  Let me know what you think 

[cupcakekisses]

Hi Cambellchick,

Thank you so much for your reply.
I agree he is not getting enough sleep at all. We've put changing things & routine on hold for now as he's sick with a virus, so eating and sleeping patterns are all out of whack.

But, when he has recovered, we'd like to be changing a few things with his routine, because I agree it does need some tweaking! Anyone else have some advice for us?

I think I have a bit of trouble with his tired signs. I will have to keep a closer eye out.

Thank you again for your reply!

[campbellchick]

Good luck, I hope he recovers soon.  Both of my kids have been sick lately with colds and teething and have been sleeping TERRIBLY.....  It is awful.

But I hope someone can help with adjusting your routine and I wish you the best of luck with it 

[cupcakekisses]

I hope your two get better soon too Cambellchick!
The poor things.