cant keep asleep.

[jamesandaaron]

Help! i need help to find out where I'm going wrong.  my 5 week old,who i have been trying to put on easy scince birth, i cant get to sleep.

i did easy with my first son who is now three and it worked really well for him.  my 5 week old wakes at 7 ish and has a feed then is awake till 8 ish then i swaddle and he goes down relatively easily for a couple of hours, the same thing at about 10 to half pasts.
however this is where it all goes a little pear shaped.  The next time he wakes is about 1 pm and when i try to put him down when he is showing signs of being tired, usually about 2 to half past he just wont go. he either gets really hysterical or goes to sleep then wakes up 5 Min's later, I'm still with him so I'm shush patting in his cot if he is calm ish and this goes on for over two hours with maybe 15 min sleep in the middle. he then crys hysterically and wants a feed. so i feed him and he then falls asleep on the bottle. for may be half an hour.
the same thing then happens in the evening when he goes to bed about half 6 and i am there some times for over three hours.

in bettween putting my three year old to bed as my husband is rarely home in the evening.  when he does go down he sleeps well but its getting him there. 
any suggestions. please.

[AshleyB]

My LO is 12 weeks now, and when she was five weeks, she would NOT take that afternoon nap for love or money. It caused her to get OT, which made her evening put down similar to the one you describe. We never found a solution other than holding her for the entire nap (watched a lot of movies those weeks). All I can say is that she finally got better at about 10-11 weeks. Now she sleeps for an hour in the afternoon, but that's it. She then takes a 30-min catnap right before dinner. I think it may just be a newborn thing. The evening putdown can still be lengthy. We decided around 8 weeks to just let her stay up and interact with her quietly until she showed her own sleepy cues. We still do that and found that she goes to sleep anywhere between 7:30 and 9. Only now she's happy during that time and not fighting us trying to force her to sleep.

[marensmama]

It sounds like he's OT.  LOs his age can usually handle 60-75 minutes of A time, but that first A time is usually the shortest.  Maybe he needs a bit less in that first block to begin with and then keep it to 60 minutes throughout the day, less if he has a short nap.  Let me know what you think!

[jamesandaaron]

Thank you both for your thoughts.  i will shorten his A time in the first block tomorrow, will let you know how it goes.  how ever we did have a better day today he slept alot to day and we also have given him a dummy as someone has suggested that he may have reflux as he brings up cottage cheese like supstance an hour or so after his feeds, and fingers crossed it seems to have made a difference.  however i don't really want to go there as i was up every 5 Min's with my first son putting it back in.

i think i just feel so guilty that i am spending all this time with my youngest and my three year old is sat in front of the TV waiting for me. it was so easy to implement easy with him as i didn't have any one else to think of.

[marensmama]

I know what you mean... everything is different the second time 'round.  And the guilt we feel over it!   BTW, paci addiction usually doesn't become a problem until closer to 5 months, so maybe work his routine and use it minimally until you get him sorted and then wean it. 

I just realized you're a new member, so welcome to this amazing community, the other moms here are truly godsends.  We encourage all our new members to join in and use their experiences to help others on the site as well! 

[jamesandaaron]

yeah i only used the book last time.  but this site has been so helpfull this time around.  its also nice to have others to talk to who understand what you are trying to do, as none of my friends have children and my mum doesent understand although she can see how much my eldest benefited from being on easy. 

i have decided to spend a few days at home next week to really work at it my husband has promised to try to come home early to help out, so fingers crossed i will make some ground.

today was not a good day as it was my eldest 3rd birthday so my LO  got passed around alto and got very OT.  how ever i did notice that he went down very easily for his first nap today, well he hardly woke to be honest and if i think back that seems to be the norm.  so as you suggested i will shorten his a time in the first block to see if that makes any difference.  thank you 

[marensmama]

My DD1 is turning three next weekend, so we'll be doing the birthday party thing soon too!   Hope it was a good day for you aside from the naps situation!

Keep me posted how the shorter A time works for you.

[jamesandaaron]

well i don't quite know what has happened here but my lo appears to have just clicked.  i have spent a bit of time with him but not as much as i would have liked as having to go out occasionally.

the shorter a time after his first feed seems to be working.   it seems as though his naps become progressivly shorter through the day and so his a time gets longer.  we are still trying to work out a good bedtime routine that works for both children and that i can manage on my own.  however which ever way we are structuring the last part of the evening we are keeping the very final part the same, getting in to night clothes swaddleing lights down and quiet sitting for 10 mins with a bottle if hes not had it early due to hunger.  and then in to bed if he fusses a little he take his pacifier and drops of normally no problems.

i have tried to keep things to a minimum and when we are out Ive tried not to let him be passed around to much. 
9 times out of 10 he goes to sleep and naps like a dream although wakes up occasionally but goes back mostly easily. 

however my husband is having real difficulties i have insisted that he helps when he is at home. 
the first night he got lo ready for bed kind of swaddled him and just dumped him in his cot, 3 hours later and lots of up and down the stairs he finally lets me take over and 10 Min's later sound asleep, i hate to be smug but i did try to tell him.  however tonight he followed my instructions to a t,  and although lo was not asleep had been in his cot drifting off for 10 Min's calm so i told him to leave and lo and behold 4 hours later still asleep.

now all i have got to do is up his day time milk intake. at my six week check the doctor advised me to put him on hungry baby milk as i couldn't get him to last more than 2 hours between most feeds. now mostly we make 3 hours occasionally a little less some times a little more.  he was 8lb 4 oz at birth and now 10lb 6oz, so i thought he would take more than 3 oz a feed by now, at 7 weeks.  trying to increase so that he goes a bit longer at night although wakes feeds and goes straight back down at 2 and 5 am. 

any ideas to increase as Tracy's book states to try to remove cluster feeds by 8 weeks.  he does have a dream feed around 10.30but again only takes 3 oz max.

any way end of my essay. hope you are all well and that your lo had a good birthday.

[marensmama]

Great update!  I EBF both my girls, so I have no idea about number of oz in a feed.  I think if he's waking at 2 and 5 for a feed and has a DF that's actually quite good for 7 weeks.   I think keeping the cluster feeds for as long as he needs them is OK, but maybe someone else will jump in if I'm wrong.  And the fact that he goes right down after is fab.  So great work overall!!! 

[marensmama]

Oh, and thanks, Maren had a lovely birthday.  Although she seems so grown up all of the sudden!     

[AshleyB]

My DH wouldn't swaddle the baby properly for at least two weeks. He finally figured out (the hard way) that he just had to learn how to do it or none of us was going to get any sleep! Men are so stubborn!