losing my mind, please help!

[grahan]

I have 5 month old twin girls.  They are so not consistent with their napping.  It changes everyday and I have such a hard time knowing when to lay them down.   Today, they woke at 5:30, ate and went back to sleep until 7:45.  Nap #1 was 9:45 until 11.  Nap # 2 started at 1:00....The weirdest thing, they both fussed for a bit, Hannah more than Grace.  Grace fell asleep at about 1:10 and Hannah 1:20.  At 1:55, Hannah was up talking.  I peeked in there and she was all smiles?!!  Then Gracie opened her eyes and saw me and that was that!  Were they over tired, under tired?  What the heck is going on?  Usually if nap #1 is short than #2 is long or vice versa.  One of the 1st 2 is always 2 hours.  I figured with nap #1 lasting 1 hour, 15 minutes (tops, probably a little less) that they'd be ready for #2 after 2 hours.  Now how long do I wait for nap #3 since this one was only 35-45 mins

[grahan]

Ugh... I didn't know what to do so I put them down at 3:15 since they woke from 40ish minute naps at 1:50.  It is a scream fest in there.  Hannah looks wide awake.  When I went in to pat/shush, she looked wide eyed and happy because she thought I was coming to get her.  Gracie just sounds miserable.  I don't get it.  They had a full 12 hours last night (including one night feeding).  Napping is all nutty today.  wake at 7:45.  Usually nap 1 and 2 involve little to no crying or fussing.
Nap 1 - 9:45 until 11:00 ( few minutes before 11 actually)
Nap 2 - 1:00 until 1:50 (did not fall asleep right at 1 though)
Nap 3 - Put down at 3:15 even though they really seemed awake and alert, not tired looking at all.  It is 3:45 and they are still fussing in there.  If they do go to sleep, I know it won't be long and they'll wake cranky.  I just wish I could crack this nap code!!

[deckchariot]

I'm wondering if they're ready for a bit more A time?  It looks like the first nap was pretty good, but then after 2 hrs of A time, they weren't quite ready for sleep and the 40ish min nap would indicate UT to me.  Have they tended to be on the high end of A time?  At 5 mos, most lo's do 2 hr to 2.25, so I'm wondering if they're ready for that 2.25?  I'm guessing your catnap was a no-go...again, they probably weren't tired, even though they had that short nap prior, it looks like they had just 1.5 hrs of A time, and that may have been too much of a cut in A time for them.

If you think they could handle more A time, I'd try extending that second  A time of the day (it's fairly normal for the first A time to be the shortest, so you could keep that at 2 hrs if they continue to nap over an hour).  I'd only do maybe 10 min every 3-5 days and see how they do with that.

btw - they are sooooooooo cute in your avatar!!!

hth
michelle

[grahan]

Thanks.  Your little one is so cute... love the butt in the air 

Today they woke at 6:45 which is typical for them.  They usually go down for a nap around 8:45 or 9.  This nap has always been the long one, lasting for 2 hours.  Today, they went down a little before 9.  There was moderate fussing until about 9 and then they were both sleeping.  Again, Hannah woke after 45 minutes wide awake and smiling.  I guess she was undertired.  By the time she fell asleep it had been 2.25 hours since waking.  Hannah has always struck me as needing less sleep than Gracie.  On those days where we have no afternoon 3rd nap and they are awake from 2 until 7, Hannah actually does okay, Grace gets fussy come 5 on those days.  So, how long should I wait from waking in the morning until 1st nap?  And since this 1st nap was only 45 minutes, how long before nap #2?  We had a pretty good routine down.  I'm really at a loss.  Yesterday they had maybe 2 hours of collective nap time.  They went to sleep a little early last night and slept 12 hours (including one "night feed" at 4:30 am).
Also, should I give up my quest to get them on the same schedule?  I've been waking them both when one wakes so that they stay on the same schedule.  I was told to do this by all of the twin experts.

[t220]

grahan - I just wanted to say you are AMAZING to be doing this with two babies. I have a hard enough time with one and I just can't imagine more than one child...let alone twins. Kudos for all your hard work and keep it up!! I don't have much advice but just wanted to give you some (((((hugs)))). They are so cute!

[deckchariot]

I'd say if you think the 45 min naps are UT (and since they're waking happy, I'm guessing it is), then I'd start just doing 10 min every 3 or 4 days.  So if they wake at 6:45 and you usually put them down at 8:45, do 8:55 (I know you did 9ish today and still got 45 min, but it usually takes several days to see a change).  Then if they nap long, go for the same A time (or even a tad more) before the next nap.  If the nap is still short, I'd keep the next A time to maybe 2 hr and see (since 1.5 seemed to be too little).

In terms of keeping their routines the same - I don't know....there's a mom in my bc with twins, and she tried that at first, but one of her girls always sleeps less than the other, so they have been on different routines.  It's possible that Hannah is ready to give up her catnap already while Gracie still needs it.

hth
michelle