Need HELP Urgently - So many issues!!!!

[Shellha]

My DS2 is 19wo tomorrow. We started out incredibly well from day 1 with EASY but seem to have lost our way. From 10 wks he was STTN with a DF, and is generally a textbook/angel baby.

My Dad was diagnosed with cancer in mid June, has just done 10 weeks of chemo and is having a major operation on 25th September, so I MUST have DS sorted by then as I won't cope with the sleep deprivation and worrying about my Dad.

We have a number of issues that need addressing and I would like some advice if possible:

* 3 weeks ago we got rid of the dummy cold turkey as he had started to wake during the night for it. The wean went really well and he started to STTN again immediately.

* He then got a cold last week and started to wake up again. I would feed him as he genuinely seemed hungry (don;t think he could eat normally due to the blocked nose) and he would go back to sleep.

* Feeding to get him back to sleep has been going on for about the past 10 days. I KNOW I am forming bad habits (I NEVER did it with DS1) but this child HATES to be messed with - shhh/pat and all the variations I have tried don't work. To get him to go to sleep I just pop him in the cot, little bit of crying (or sometimes none at all) and away he goes. When he needs resettling he just cries and cries.

* During the NWs, he will feed till he falls asleep but when I pull him off he will cry and fuss and if I don't put him back on he goes ballistic. I have tried and tried to resettle in other ways and nothing has worked. some times I am up for more than hour during the night trying to get him off my boob and back in the cot to sleep.

* I have tried giving him the dummy to settle him when awake and upset but he doesn't seem to like it anymore. He NEEDS to suck on something, but I am unsure of what to give him. His hands just don't factor when he is upset/needing resettling.

* He is now a tummy sleeper, since the dummy went away.

* He has had very poor weight gain over the past 5 weeks (115g) and I have been told to feed him during the night so I am not concerned about getting rid of the night feeds, just his need for the boob to get back to sleep. (we are off to the Dr tomorrow to make sure there is nothing else wrong)

* Being picked up out of bed doesn't mollify him (he gets even more upset) so I don't think PU/PD will work with him.

* MY 2yo sleeps next door to DS1 so I am always aware of the baby waking him.

I worked so hard for so long with sleep training on a refluxy baby with DS1, and to be at this point with DS2 is demoralising to say the least, especially when he was so easy going to begin with.

Due to Dad's illness and the operation I REALLY need to try and have a plan in place and have DS2 back to 'normal' by the 25th (at the latest) or I just don't think I will cope otherwise.

Also, I got AF back today - I know this can affect milk supply/taste but not sure just how much. He is exclusively BF.

Our EASY is consistent day in day out and goes like this:

2x2hr naps, cat nap of about 30mins. Feed every 4 hrs with a 12 hr day.

The NWs are fairly random in terms of when they occur and he has recently started waking for the DF. Before everything went crazy he was feeding 5x/day (now it is up to 8x).

I would appreciate any help at all. I know what the problems are but the usual solutions don't seem to apply.

Thanks in advance

Shell

[Bryony]

Hi Shell and hugs! So sorry to hear about your father's illness  xx

Now I am trying to think what's causing the wakings - can you post his routine in terms of times of E, S and A and the length of each nap? does he wake at 30 mins himself with the catnap or do you wake him?  Waking at 30 mins into the catnap would suggest OT which is also a v common cause of NW so I am wondering if something might need a tweak here

I think you will need to break that feed to sleep association though - otherwise he's not going to learn to settle himself, you might want to look at this link:

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0

xx

[scorpionbec]

Hey there
I had the same problem with my little man.  I found that shortening the first two naps helped so much.  By the time he was 4 and a half months Malakai was on 2 x 1.5hour naps and a 45 min to 1 hour nap.  The shorter the first two naps are the longer the sleep at night seems to be.  It has been a godsend.  I am so sorry to hear about your father,  sleep deprivation is definitely something that you could do without.  The other thing that I found helped was trying to do more in the activity time to wear bubs out.  Jolly jumper has been the best thing in the world for us.  The feed to sleep is definitely something that you want to be rid of.  Malakai was the same with all the shh/ pat and that stuff.  He would get worse when I tried them.  I found that just holding a firm hand on his back and saying "mummy is here, mummy is here" in a calm voice would settle him.  This did not happen straight away.  Probably about 2 days of agonising frustration.  It has been the best thing for us though.  I hope that I have give you something to think about.  Please let me know how you get on
Bec

[*Nicola*]

Offering big (((hugs))) to you x

[Shellha]

Thanks ladies! The silence from my end is a result of everything going back to the way it was - phew :-) My angel is back and sleeping thru and the waking for the DF is only once a week or so now and I just feed and get an earlier than usual night. Thanks for your support and advice

m x

[Bryony]

So pleased!!!

xx

[*Nicola*]

great news x

[scorpionbec]

Thats great that things have worked out. 
bec